|Reviews for Emotions|
| Qu33rzi chapter 3 . 6/6/2011
Corny, but I loved it.
| Faeyt chapter 3 . 4/23/2010
My least favorite out of the three so far. This one started out horribly. All the words don't need to end with 'ish'...in fact it makes me think back to Elementary school around the 3rd grade. That was the last time that I had seen writing like that. Warmish should have just been Warm, cheer-ish should have been cheery or cheer filled. The plague of "ish" also reminded me of that horrible commercial about the fish sandwiches, thanks for that splendid reminder.
Evilness should have just been evil, don't make it harder than it needs to be.
Caughting should have simply been Caught.
"gained an mischief-full..." should have been "gained a mischievous..."
"Give me back!" Should have been "Give it back!" Since she wasn't asking for him to return herself.
"Gooshy" should have been reworded, though I'm not too sure of a good word to use instead of just "goose"...maybe "goose-y".
"the brain eater simple..." should be "the brain eater simply..." though I would go without the whole "Brain eater" thing since it makes me think more along the lines of zombie instead of demon.
"signed" should be "sighed", perhaps you were typing too fast and just put the wrong letter in there.
"took its rolls..." should be "took its tolls".
"Scaring look" should be "scary look". You don't need the extra effect added in.
What were you trying to write with "Protuberating"? It isn't even a word and the only word that resembles is Protuberant, which is more like a bulge instead of "Sticking out of the can" state of being. There is a word for what you are looking for but at 1 am I'm not to sure as to what it would be. Happy hunting for your proper word though.
You tend to use the word "on" instead of "in" a lot, and I suggest you look for it before posting. It happens a plethora of times in all three chapters.
Kudos though go out to you for spelling "received" correctly, have older coworkers that don't spell it correctly. I highly suggest you get a proof reader or a beta reader to go through any more of your works before posting them. It isn't that they are bad stories, there are just a LOT of typos or blunders that could be avoided. Hope to read more of your work and I hope that you weren't too offended by the reviews I have left. They are to be a learning experience and not flames or anything negative.
| Faeyt chapter 2 . 4/23/2010
Vast improvement to the last chapter as far as typos go. Interesting plot as well, an odd little side tangent that would be entertaining to see in video or drawn out.
Tuff should have been Tough. I don't think I have to give the explanation on this misspelling. Kind of like thru and through, and only American's make this mistake.
Gracious should most likely have been Graceful. Just the wrong form of the word. Gracious has more to do with the way one conducts themselves such as "the most gracious host" while graceful has to do with how one moves.
Length should have been Lengthen. You just seemed to have dropped the last two letters on that word to make it proper.
Tong should have been Tongue. He wasn't using a cooking utensil, but a body part. Kind of like lengthen, you just seemed to have dropped the last two letters.
Cream-sess...I'm going to take a wild guess, but I'm going to say you meant that half her face was still covered in cream which probably would have worked better as "Creamed", or "cream covered".
| Faeyt chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
Interesting story, I liked it a lot and will continue to read it. Only had a few things I wanted to cover though with you.
The word Contempt I believe is the wrong one and you were probably looking for Contentment. Since Contempt is a negative reaction word I figured you just simply used the wrong one.
Witch should have been Which. You used it properly later so I guess you just typed and didn't double check.
Experimenting is another misused word. I believe the one you were looking for was Experiencing. Since he wasn't doing tests on his emotions but trying to restrain ones that he wasn't used to feeling.
of off should have been off of, you just switched them around.
Resolved should have been Revolved. When you were talking about her life revolving around him. Her emotions and daily things weren't solving things by him being there, at least not in the way that sentence would make sense.
un-enpathic, is a word I have never even heard of. I believe what you were looking for was apathetic. In the essence of that he doesn't take in others emotions since doing so would be called empathy. Also you could have used un-empathetic, which would have worked just as well.
Lastly, petit should have been spelled petite. Just another small misspell. You also had some grammar issues which could have been caught if a second reader proof read the story or if you went back through it. I would suggest you do so from now on so that there aren't as many small missteps. They weren't so horrible that they detracted from the story, but they should still be fixed otherwise it looks poorly done and not given as much time of day as maybe this story deserves.
| lionwhizk chapter 3 . 11/10/2009
hehehehe, loved the part about "them inside her head" lol so cute! :D
| MikariStar chapter 3 . 11/10/2009
These are all so cute! I wonder how long it'll take Yako to focus on the quote and realize where it's from so she can start blushing like a tomato. XD
| Charmshadow chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
very deep, espiacially for Neuro...
| MikariStar chapter 2 . 6/13/2009
This is so cute and totally hilarious XD Oh yes, it was so worth it!
| CoCoPowder chapter 2 . 5/21/2009
Ahah. That was so funny! Loved the ending, really sad for what Yako realized aha.
| Unknown D Flamerose chapter 2 . 5/21/2009
Love it ~!~!~!
yet the ending is unclear..
| FreyaLin chapter 1 . 5/18/2009
aw neuro is so cute! i love it when a man feels that way lol
| Unknown D Flamerose chapter 1 . 5/17/2009
Wahoo~! Go Neuro~! 0
-can there be a aftermath? XD