|Reviews for You've Kept Me Waiting|
| epletre chapter 43 . 3/29/2010
thank you. this is the first story i have ever read about alice and jasper meeting each other an how thing happened from there. i must say that i think it was a little bit too long for my taste, but it is still one of my favourite stories!
| enchanted-mind chapter 43 . 3/22/2010
Hi! I actually read this a long time ago and never got around to reviewing, much to my own (and yours too, I would think) dismay. I’m sorry about that – because, seriously, you deserve millions for this story alone. So I’ll do it now.
First of all, I want to respond to your writing style. Gosh, it was so beyond perfect; I don’t know that I’ll truly be able to express what I want to about it, but I’ll try. I have read published books that are less than half the quality of this and have received decent reviews. Next to you, they look like my third grade short story on Pete the Starfish and his troubles with Mr. Shark. I say this with no dishonesty; I can’t find a flaw in your writing. It’s elegant but simple (in the best possible manner, I mean) and it’s detailed but not to the point that the sentences smash into each other and knot into indecipherable lines of words. I remember when I first read this, I thought to myself ‘there is no way that this person is not a published author... I can’t believe how nice the writing is’. It’s true! I still cannot get over the way your words just flow together and create such a mind-blowing story. What you have mastered, thousands of wannabes (such as myself) wish to be able to at least do once. You have the most marvellous piece of work under your wing and you should be out there promoting it, saying ‘yeah, this is my story. I wrote it. And I’m proud of it.’ Sometimes when I read through bits of the story, I can feel my eyes well up at the idea of finding such writing on the internet instead of the typical twenty-first century ‘LOL’ and ‘he said, she said, I was sad’. Having said that, I’m not some sort of English freak who sits and marvels at poetry all my life... But I’ll make an exception for ‘You’ve Kept Me Waiting’!
I liked how you stuck to the Twilight world too. This story could easily slot into that very vague century before Bella’s appearance in Twilight and it wouldn’t change the books in the saga. And I loved it. You had a phenomenally perfect rhythm and your structuring of time was about the best I’ve ever read. Not only did you engage an audience with light, realistic banter, and the odd slither of sexual tension, you created a world all its own. Everything that happened did so for a reason (and didn’t just randomly fall out of the sky) which is a key element to writing any sort of half-way decent story (but you already knew that, didn’t you...?)
Yeah, so that’s enough about the overall story, I want to get a little more specific...
Imagery. You were good at weaving it in every now and again. One thing in particular that seems to resonate in my mind (despite having first read this years ago) was after Jasper had killed the ‘raisin man’, “He was positively frightening, standing there in the moonlight, a small spot of red on the collar of his tuxedo as the only lingering reminder of his act.” That has stayed with me ever since I first read it. And once again it demonstrates your impeccable ability to paint a fantastic story, but it also shows your attention to detail. And there was something in the way you wrote that that made time seem to slow down... I can’t describe it, though many people try to accomplish it.
That quote was also the point where I said ‘I want to do what Mandi1 has done’; I wanted to write a story and leave people in awe with the way I put finger to keyboard. Of course, I’m still working on the whole ‘unparalleled greatness’ thing but I still look up to you and wish that maybe I one day could write half as beautifully as you do.
Oh yes, and your characterisation was a god-send. Reading time and time again about a ‘buzzing’ Alice who has an immature addiction to shopping really wears thin quite quickly. You, on the other hand, created a stable, mature woman who does like to shop but is not all-consumed by its ‘awesomeness’. I thank you for that. And Jasper! Well, what can I say? You took a new angle on him. Most people go for the whole ‘I am so worthless and I choose animals because I don’t want to be a monster’ thing with him, but you made his transition from humans to animals one slightly against his will. I don’t mean that he was forced into it, but he did not take to the idea of vegetarianism instantly – something refreshing to see. Another character I liked was Peter – and although he doesn’t quite fit into what we know about him now from the books, I still thought it was an interesting take on him. Not many people – myself included – would think to have him and Jasper have a fall-out that could possibly last forever. I liked it – it was undoubtedly entertaining.
Now for their interactions... I would say that they were perfect, and not at all over-the-top, but that would be an understatement. So I’m not going to even attempt to address that because I will just get wrapped up in words like ‘exceptional’ and ‘wonderful’. I think you’ve probably heard perfect too many times now... :)
Now for the drama... My goodness, does it ever end? Somehow, and I wish I knew how, you squeezed so many major and minor events into 43 chapters and it didn’t come across at all like a bad soap opera where a long lost brother appears and sleeps with his sister. (Marlene’s son dying, the realisation of no children for Alice and Jasper, being suspected of cheating at the casino, the robbery in Wyoming...) Another thing I aspire to do.
Seriously, I think I should just put you on a pedestal now and coat you in gold... That would at least come part of the way in giving justice to your efforts...
Oh! I also really loved the time Alice and Jasper spent with Peter and Charlotte (and Grayer, Bridget, and Andreas...) It was unique, for starters, but there was something so magical in the syntax that I swear the words turned into pictures right in front of me! No other story I have read has been able to do that... so I applaud you with the upmost respect.
What something else I can talk about... I know! The excitement. Now, I know this sounds lame, but your story was really quite exciting. You know how to entertain an audience, that is for sure! You never dwelled on something too long that a reader got bored but you never skipped over things that required deeper analysis. Amazing. Truly astounding. You have a serious gift... Maybe you should write stories for Hollywood... I see major success in the near future. (Just a suggestion...)
And look what I’ve gone and done... An epic review for an epic tale! I need to learn to shut up sooner...
I know one crummy little review doesn’t really make up for the hours you spent in front of a monitor slaving away by a keyboard, but it is unbelievably hard to try to do your work justice. The only person who could ever do it would be yourself!
Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you on such an amazing story and thank you for sharing it. ‘You’ve Kept Me Waiting’ is always in the back of my mind, and it probably will be for years to come. Thank you, because of you my faith in the world of fanfics was restored and I knuckled down to write my own story. But mostly, you shouldn’t need to be told any of this – surely you have to know how brilliant this masterpiece is. So although I didn’t review every chapter with something like ‘good chapter’ or ‘I liked it’ and boost your review count up by 43, I hope you find some sort of satisfaction in this single review. You deserve more, but unfortunately I can’t give that to you. I would if I could - believe me, there isn’t anyone more worthy!
Bye for now!
By the way – the ending was one of the best. It was so subtle yet it reflected everything Alice and Jasper had been through. It was so great; you should print it off and frame it... Seriously.
Oh, and –last thing, I swear – I’m sorry if bits of this are incoherent, you’ll have to excuse me; my writing is not as good as others.
Really, by for now!
| PsychFicChick chapter 43 . 3/6/2010
Beautiful story, wonderful writing. I loved it!
| PsychFicChick chapter 38 . 3/6/2010
First I must give thanks for the pefect AxJ story. I have always wanted to read Alice and Jasper's complete pre and post Cullen story, but so far all I have gotten were crummy one-shots. *houghs irratably*
Second, my tought during Alice's bedridden phase was that one month is like a few days to an immortal, but then I thought of one month without seeing your love and without hunting (eventhough Edward, bless his still heart, brought her blood). I can see how a month can seem like a long time to a vampire. It almost makes Edward's five months away from Bella seem cruel.
Anyway, love the story, hate Maria!
| CosmicGlitterCat chapter 43 . 3/2/2010
What a great and lovely story you've written! The narration was wonderful and consistent throughout, and I absolutely love the way you portrayed Alice and Jasper's story in a manner that believably fills in the gap leading up the books.
| Kill4Karamel chapter 43 . 2/22/2010
That was easily the best fic I've read in my entire life. It was better than the actual Twilight books. *dies from the awesome*
| yellowipod chapter 43 . 2/22/2010
What an amazing story! I very easily can believe this is canon. :) & I will certainly check out your other stories.
| yellowipod chapter 42 . 2/22/2010
| yellowipod chapter 39 . 2/22/2010
This makes complete sense! Because when Edward leaves in Twilight Alice is not happy about it. She had to experience what Bella went through and knew in the end they'd be together. The sooner Edward went back the better, just like for her and Jasper. They need each other. :)
| yellowipod chapter 32 . 2/21/2010
brother, sister, fiancee, father, mother.. Alice is getting the family she wanted! & Jasper is getting a family he didn't know he wanted.
| yellowipod chapter 31 . 2/21/2010
GAH. This is too much! I can't stop smiling like a fool.
| yellowipod chapter 30 . 2/21/2010
| yellowipod chapter 15 . 2/20/2010
In the last chapter I was expecting wistfulness for a child. But the hunger makes sense too.. & of course Jasper had to make an excuse. What a terrible thing to pretend though.
| yellowipod chapter 13 . 2/20/2010
Their absolute devotion to one another is amazing.
| yellowipod chapter 12 . 2/20/2010
The perfect combination of passion, feelings, and physical connection. Certainly love making, not smut. :)