Reviews for ZAT: The Immortal Saiyan: The Dawn of Skriker
Guest chapter 11 . 9/29/2013
that was a bit anti-climbmatic , don't u think on the last chapter...
Nephelae chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
I'm if not utterly amazed- surprised that someone had the guts to make a spinoff of ZAT. Congrats.

Now- above all, the writing must be discused.

I'm rather disipointed at the sketching and confusing backstory for Hunter- in all honesty I'm rather lost by his existance, but will choose to go along with it. attempt to make further, more indepth attempts at backstory next time, with perhaps more Dynamic character planning.

The grammar here is bugging me- I appreciate the lack of spelling errors (Thank Kami-sama!), but I've spotted a rather large count of errors. Note to spell out numbers when typing instead of actually using the mathmatical form, and to use words like "I'm," rather than "I am." within speech or whenever text is associating to a characters thoughts or speech.

I did however enjoy the character interactions.

Also, using more colorful words than just basic expression context, as in "-was so MAD," but instead- "-was so ANGRY." (Swearing a bit wouldn't be a bad thing in that kind of rage either. It would perhaps be more in character than anything else.)

I do however enjoy this story- and as soon as I finish catching up with ZAT, I will continue to read and leave a more.. ahem.. positive review.


bubblegirl89236 chapter 11 . 6/28/2009
awwsome - can't wait to meet skriker!
Yaoifangirl102 chapter 11 . 5/22/2009
cool but please update this story is getting really good so please carry on updating
Yaoifangirl102 chapter 10 . 5/22/2009
please update this story is getting realy good
Yaoifangirl102 chapter 8 . 5/21/2009
update please i wanna know what happens so please update
Yaoifangirl102 chapter 7 . 5/21/2009
please update i wanna know what happens and this is really good i thought that the other one was good but this one could be better
Yaoifangirl102 chapter 6 . 5/20/2009
please update
Revu chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
That was definitely energetic. First off, just so I can confirm to everyone who will come and check this story out, I did give metalgearhunter the OK to write a fanfic based off my DBZ fanfic. I have absolutely no problem with anyone writing a spinoff to my ideas and in fact find it very flattering that others would want to expand upon a universe I created. I still have to be fair with the story however, so give me a sec to get psyched up for my advice portion of the review.

As I said you have quite a bit of writing energy, and that is very useful! When you told me you had a story idea for my characters I had no idea you were going to have four chapters pumped out by the next day! One important thing the story still needs though is some good proofreading. All writers make typos. It's inevitable even to the most experienced typists. So going back and reading over your writing is very important to making a solid or sound piece of literature. This is also good for catching the consistency errors within the story, such as referring to the same person or object using different spellings of the word. If those errors were cleaned up you'd have a much smoother flow to the story.

The content of the story itself is interesting to say the least. Personally, I'm not a big fan of explaining the background of a story in author's notes. It's a lot more fun to clue in past events through the telling of the story to try and make the readers piece things together on their own, and then have something happen where the past is finally explained so the reader will learn whether they were right or not. If introducing a new OC takes too long it can also behoove the readers just to be given minor flashbacks of the character's history and how they came to be so they get a better understanding of the character and understand why these characters are here and normal in the story now.

As far as the characters go, I know someone will eventually bring up the question why are they acting the way they are. I know I'm really not all too sure about what they're all doing or why Vegeta is being really bitchy, or why Goten and Trunks are acting like little kids even though the events of GT are basically over(even though they were wished back into little kids). But, I just try not to think about it. It's your story and OOC is supposed to be an acceptable explanation in this line of work.

The idea is keep writing, because with more writing and practice comes better concepts of writing and more creative ways to describe events in detail. I wish you a lot of luck with your story!

'Till next time!
Yaoifangirl102 chapter 4 . 5/19/2009
update and i love it so update