Reviews for Spiral Tangents
Inoeth chapter 16 . 1/25/2011
Well this chapter certainly explained a few things and makes me really want to read the next chapter in the 'main story'. Great job and keep up the good work. (I'm also slightly surprised that you didn't go into more depth on the smut as you had in previous chapters but that is not a bad thing.)
Arkeus chapter 16 . 1/24/2011
squicky part was squicky.

Also, disliking Padma quite a bit.

Nice work
MarinePotterfan chapter 16 . 1/23/2011
Thanks for writing

Meneldur chapter 16 . 1/22/2011
This was excellent. I really enjoyed it. I'm going to be a bit short becuase I've got a semester test tomorrow.

The part with Hermione and Padma was really nice. It wasn't that important, I think, but it was enjoyable and cute.

The part with the family was... odd. I understand Holly was moody because of the pregnancy, and maybe the act of creating children touched her subconscious who knew she was pregnant or something, but really, it seemed she was overreacting. The whole 'made her feel like a creature' - it wasn't normal. Was the pregnancy that bad?

The knowledge of the scientific mehtod not being used was quite an interesting part, though. And Prestwick's antics were amusing enough.

Ah, finally the part with the Veela. I cannot begin to describe its' perfection, and how much I enjoyed it. Fleur and Gabrielle together were so fun and amusing - though one wonders if Fleur is always so harsh with her sister and foul language. I guess the fact that they were in really grave danger from both Holly and the Ministry had something to do with it, though. Holly's rejection of Gabby was better than I thought it would be. The part about True Love and the Trojan War was hilarious. But was she trying to teach her, affirming the rejection, or just being moody? (oh my god, this inspires a whole new range of horrible Moody jokes, similar to the Sirius ones)

Holly was nervous about her date... that just shows how important it was, if it could make Holly feel that. It was good that they opened with trying to ascertain what the other one is and wants, rather than sex. It made it that much more realistic and meaningful. Especially when both Fleur and Holly tried to reject each other, and were rebuffed by the other.

In a sense, Fleur may have been the ideal match for Holly. She doesn't seem disgusted by what's happened to her (though she doesn't know it all), she can keep up with her sexually (one wonders if Veela have a sex drive and stamina equal to a Metamorphagus), she's intelligent and challenging. Most telling of all, though, it seems to me her logic and attitude solved so many problems Holly had. She decided to be with Holly despite knowing the consquences. She's offered an excellent way for Holly to compete with her without anyone getting too hurt (or so I would think). Incidentally, this way will ensure that Holly is no longer a student, as she says later in the chapter. Most importantly, she told her about the pregnancy, and managed to get her to deal with it and the knowledge that her daughter will die in a reasonable way. I especially liked her 'Fuck fate' attitude, and the willingness to entertain all options - even not bearing the child, despite (presumed) cultural problems with that.

The knowledge of Fleur's lack of accent and that Veela Slavery is a fairy-tale was quite comforting. It did make no sense, as Fleur pointed out.

I can't wait to see Fleur and Holly again, this time in France. And who knows? Maybe Natalia will join them...

The others finding of Holly's pregnancy was no surprise, went as expected. Hermione and Newt's conversation was intriguing, as well as the creation of Pog, but I've really got to catch the bus to college right now. Discuss it in our traditional message exchange.

Last note: did you listen to my music recommendation?

Write to you soon, Meneldur.
Ynyr chapter 16 . 1/22/2011
A sex scene between Hermione Granger and Padma Patil, classic movie quotes from “Heathers“and "The Terminator", an impossibly melodramatic Brie, a pregnant Harry Potter, and to top it all off: a centaur handjob. That had to be one of the most entertaining chapters of fanfiction I have ever read.
Vaughn Tyler chapter 16 . 1/22/2011
nice, could have lived without the centaur bit though. my poor mind. lol
Dorian Windslasher chapter 13 . 12/10/2010
Another instance of Dumbledore getting his ass kicked.

Seriously, he battled Voldemort to a stand-still.

Single-handedly kicked the shit out of all the death eaters in the ministry. Those who didn't flee the very sight of him, that is.

Having him defeated over and over makes him lose all authority and interest as anything resembling a villain.

But even if that's not the role you wish for him to have, he still gets less interesting, as does his thought and opinions, due to the fact that he's constantly ridiculed by a bunch of kids.
Cloud Dancer1014 chapter 15 . 11/25/2010
-Methinks that Neville's reaction was slightly too pronounced. I'm not one to tell you what to write, but I think Holly might have missed some deeper set mind magic ward set against homosexuality. It would make sense that Wizard society would try and prevent it as much as possible. Seeing as Holly is muggleborn, she wouldn't have caught it . . . especially if it was done before the attack on his parents . . .

Just a thought; nothing to take seriously if you don't want to. I just like Neville and Holly, and I do like the thought of those two together on a more equal basis, kind of like Hermione and Holly, or even Tonks and Holly . . .

Or maybe I'm looking for a harem pairing here. Hard to say sometimes . . .

Happy writing, and update soon!
Arkeus chapter 15 . 11/24/2010
sad about hermione :-(

silly girl.
Little Lion chapter 15 . 11/24/2010
You already know I love this story, so I'd like to make one constructive criticism:

Holly has already stated at length how fucked up toying with people's minds is. She obviously takes intrusions and obliviations very seriously and very personally- something I think most people can agree with. Even so, she seems to throw around obliviations at a rate that she would be absolutely livid with anyone else for doing so. I understand that she's fighting a war and I agree with most of her obliviations- but some I have a problem with: like the obliviation on Neville. I can reason it out in saying that it's realistic for Holly to have some character flaws and for her to be incapable of dealing with rejection from her loved ones to the point where she feels like she simultaneously needs to save them from the stress she's caused and also find a way out from the anguish their strong lack of acceptance has caused her. But seriously, she can't keep throwing obliviations at people who can't accept an aspect of her or have moral dilemmas about being with her- it's like her own brand of brainwashing to take out the bad (at least the first bad thing they've seen that would make them want to distance themselves from her).

Holly should have stunned Neville or calmed him down some other way to get over the staggering initial shock and then asked if he wanted to be obliviated (like how Hermione asked for it so she could reprocess by the end of the day), so he would have at least had the option of reconciling it and working it out.

Given Neville's logical perspective of things I could easily see him rationalizing something along the lines of Holly being a girl in every way for her entire life beyond her first year, that he'd fallen in love with Holly-the-girl not Harry-the-Boy-Who-Lived, and he'd had sex with Holly Very-Much-A-Girl Evans. Harry is for all intents and purposes a very convincing act. Not a person, and certainly not the person he's in love with. Given a little time, maybe as little as a few days or a week, I feel like he would have come to his senses and the intense bond they'd just formed and the progress they'd made in their friendship wouldn't have been needlessly thrown to the dust.

All-in-all: at some point, Holly's going to have to become stronger in the face of rejection. It's her biggest weakness, and one that I can definitely believe in and support for the sake of credibility, but Holly's grown in so many ways that this flaw of hers should be coming up for consideration. Neville could be a step towards that.

Also: I did word-to-page conversion of Holly Evans and the Spiral Path and it's 1551 pages. Holy fuck. With the Spiral Tangents I bet you've crossed the 2000 page mark. That is some serious dedication- I have to thank you once again for providing us with this story- it's easily tied for first in my favorite stories list (the other's The Wastelands of Time, btw). So yes, thank you for the amazing amount of time and effort you've put into this. Very much looking forward to your next update!
Vaughn Tyler chapter 15 . 11/24/2010
Meneldur chapter 14 . 10/21/2010
I don't think I have much to say. I read most of this already. I enjoyed the Hufflepuff episode. I thought it was a very nice example of Hufflepuff teamwork and tendencies. The part with Erin was nice, especially considering her angry message to Holly later.

Why did Natalia call Hermione Princes? Is it because she needed a nickname, and it sounds somewhat similar? Is there any reason for her to use Japanese otherwise?

Enjoyed the conversation between Newt and Hermione as well. I wonder what she's planning… I guess I'll wait and see.

The movie reference and Holly and Natalia mocking it was gold. Just what I needed.

Again, if you want to reply to this, I'd rather you add it to the review reply for the main story.
Vaughn Tyler chapter 14 . 10/17/2010
very nice
Little Lion chapter 13 . 9/2/2010
I feel like the lives of the characters progressed immensely through this chapter. I've definitely been missing this story- thank you for the update.
Meneldur chapter 13 . 9/2/2010
It's good to have you back. I've got a few comments, but I'll try to keep it short, for my sake as well - I'm just back from another week at college, and am planning to rest for most of the weekend.

It's good to know Hermione is being re-tutored. I assume it worked, and we'll see indicators of it in later chapters, yes?

The part with Sirius was nice. It was good to have someone else narrate. Though this reminds me that we had nothing of Newt the whole chapter, not even a single witty comment, and I wonder why.

The supper with Minerva was interesting, but offered no surprising revelations (to me, at least). Seeing it from Sirius' view made it fresher and better, though.

Holly's insecurity was something I wondered about in the beginning, and I was glad you resolved it. The explanation was quite logical. The explanation about Tonks was also illuminating. I didn't notice Holly really holding back at the end of the fight, though. Did she truly want to disfigure Fleur? Was the effect of the Allure that bad? I actually expected more talk about Fleur, though. I noticed you didn't include that line you sent me, which was fine, but I did expect more. The legend was alarming, especially it's implications, because it seems quite logical to me that Holly might have to duel Fleur in some part of the Tournament, and that might be problematic. I do hope Sirius' advice will help her.

The therapy with Remus was good, though a bit disturbing. It's hard to think of Hermione as a sexual predator – a reverse Mrs. Robinson, in a way. But it was still good, and I'm glad you resolved it.

The last pieces were both interesting and mundane. An alliance with Bartemius is profitable and intriguing, but more conflict with Albus is a bit annoying. Still, it seems to be going much better, and I need to read the next chapter and the bowling scene to truly pass judgement.

If I have Any other issues I'll mention in out message exchange. Until then, Meneldur.
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