|Reviews for Spiral Tangents|
| Little Lion chapter 15 . 11/24/2010
You already know I love this story, so I'd like to make one constructive criticism:
Holly has already stated at length how fucked up toying with people's minds is. She obviously takes intrusions and obliviations very seriously and very personally- something I think most people can agree with. Even so, she seems to throw around obliviations at a rate that she would be absolutely livid with anyone else for doing so. I understand that she's fighting a war and I agree with most of her obliviations- but some I have a problem with: like the obliviation on Neville. I can reason it out in saying that it's realistic for Holly to have some character flaws and for her to be incapable of dealing with rejection from her loved ones to the point where she feels like she simultaneously needs to save them from the stress she's caused and also find a way out from the anguish their strong lack of acceptance has caused her. But seriously, she can't keep throwing obliviations at people who can't accept an aspect of her or have moral dilemmas about being with her- it's like her own brand of brainwashing to take out the bad (at least the first bad thing they've seen that would make them want to distance themselves from her).
Holly should have stunned Neville or calmed him down some other way to get over the staggering initial shock and then asked if he wanted to be obliviated (like how Hermione asked for it so she could reprocess by the end of the day), so he would have at least had the option of reconciling it and working it out.
Given Neville's logical perspective of things I could easily see him rationalizing something along the lines of Holly being a girl in every way for her entire life beyond her first year, that he'd fallen in love with Holly-the-girl not Harry-the-Boy-Who-Lived, and he'd had sex with Holly Very-Much-A-Girl Evans. Harry is for all intents and purposes a very convincing act. Not a person, and certainly not the person he's in love with. Given a little time, maybe as little as a few days or a week, I feel like he would have come to his senses and the intense bond they'd just formed and the progress they'd made in their friendship wouldn't have been needlessly thrown to the dust.
All-in-all: at some point, Holly's going to have to become stronger in the face of rejection. It's her biggest weakness, and one that I can definitely believe in and support for the sake of credibility, but Holly's grown in so many ways that this flaw of hers should be coming up for consideration. Neville could be a step towards that.
Also: I did word-to-page conversion of Holly Evans and the Spiral Path and it's 1551 pages. Holy fuck. With the Spiral Tangents I bet you've crossed the 2000 page mark. That is some serious dedication- I have to thank you once again for providing us with this story- it's easily tied for first in my favorite stories list (the other's The Wastelands of Time, btw). So yes, thank you for the amazing amount of time and effort you've put into this. Very much looking forward to your next update!
| Vaughn Tyler chapter 15 . 11/24/2010
| Meneldur chapter 14 . 10/21/2010
I don't think I have much to say. I read most of this already. I enjoyed the Hufflepuff episode. I thought it was a very nice example of Hufflepuff teamwork and tendencies. The part with Erin was nice, especially considering her angry message to Holly later.
Why did Natalia call Hermione Princes? Is it because she needed a nickname, and it sounds somewhat similar? Is there any reason for her to use Japanese otherwise?
Enjoyed the conversation between Newt and Hermione as well. I wonder what she's planning… I guess I'll wait and see.
The movie reference and Holly and Natalia mocking it was gold. Just what I needed.
Again, if you want to reply to this, I'd rather you add it to the review reply for the main story.
| Vaughn Tyler chapter 14 . 10/17/2010
| Little Lion chapter 13 . 9/2/2010
I feel like the lives of the characters progressed immensely through this chapter. I've definitely been missing this story- thank you for the update.
| Meneldur chapter 13 . 9/2/2010
It's good to have you back. I've got a few comments, but I'll try to keep it short, for my sake as well - I'm just back from another week at college, and am planning to rest for most of the weekend.
It's good to know Hermione is being re-tutored. I assume it worked, and we'll see indicators of it in later chapters, yes?
The part with Sirius was nice. It was good to have someone else narrate. Though this reminds me that we had nothing of Newt the whole chapter, not even a single witty comment, and I wonder why.
The supper with Minerva was interesting, but offered no surprising revelations (to me, at least). Seeing it from Sirius' view made it fresher and better, though.
Holly's insecurity was something I wondered about in the beginning, and I was glad you resolved it. The explanation was quite logical. The explanation about Tonks was also illuminating. I didn't notice Holly really holding back at the end of the fight, though. Did she truly want to disfigure Fleur? Was the effect of the Allure that bad? I actually expected more talk about Fleur, though. I noticed you didn't include that line you sent me, which was fine, but I did expect more. The legend was alarming, especially it's implications, because it seems quite logical to me that Holly might have to duel Fleur in some part of the Tournament, and that might be problematic. I do hope Sirius' advice will help her.
The therapy with Remus was good, though a bit disturbing. It's hard to think of Hermione as a sexual predator – a reverse Mrs. Robinson, in a way. But it was still good, and I'm glad you resolved it.
The last pieces were both interesting and mundane. An alliance with Bartemius is profitable and intriguing, but more conflict with Albus is a bit annoying. Still, it seems to be going much better, and I need to read the next chapter and the bowling scene to truly pass judgement.
If I have Any other issues I'll mention in out message exchange. Until then, Meneldur.
| jovan schnee chapter 13 . 8/31/2010
This is great. I've been waiting for my dose of Holly. Not that I'm complaining but some of this reads like it is part of the main story. Look forward to more. Thanks.
| Vaughn Tyler chapter 13 . 8/30/2010
| Taylor1991 chapter 12 . 7/29/2010
Great chappie. Quick question, does Pansy have MPD? Violet's/Pansy's behavior halfway through the chappie seems as much, but it wasn't clear. Wow, Hermione has finally broken the compulsions and will hopefully stop Holly from going downhill. Love a darkish Holly, but if she goes over the edge it will spell disaster for the whole wizarding world. Even though Holly wasn't thrilled with Tonks's stunt with Pansy, it will help her greatly. Now the whole Nev stunt, lol. This tangent certainly cleared up some of the inevitable confusion you'd get when reading chappies 41 through 43. Now we'll be able to see which of Hermione's actions towards Holly, sexually and other wise were driven and/or prevented by the compulsion. Keep up the good work.
| Vaughn Tyler chapter 12 . 7/4/2010
| Europec chapter 12 . 6/21/2010
Excellent tangents. Most enjoyable and now they also serve to fill in the blanks a bit so that's always great! Keep it up! It's wonderful!
| Europec chapter 2 . 6/18/2010
Awesome! Very entertaining! Cheers!
| Laplaciana chapter 12 . 6/11/2010
You my dear, are stone cold fuck nuts! And I mean that in the best way possible :)
| Taylor1991 chapter 11 . 5/27/2010
Note: loved the black mail Holly held against Daphne.
| Henning chapter 12 . 5/22/2010
Ahh... finally :)
We had to wait a little bit longer than normal (~ 1 month, I compared the wrong dates with each other), but got rewarded with a LONG and really nice tangent.
Slow but steady Holly's secret army is growing. I think Voldemort will get a BAD surprise if he is ever resurrected in his real form. Might be a little bit tough for Wormtail to capture Holly for the ritual at the end of the Three Wizard Tournament. ;)
Keep up you good work.