Reviews for Written In the Dust
Myaru chapter 1 . 7/20/2009
Their unwavering dedication to each other, even in the worst of circumstances, is one of my favorite parts of the story. I think it says something that Kent wanted to send her away and stay, possibly to die, though it isn't even his land really- though it also seems somewhat cowardly; he doesn't want her to die, or doesn't want his family to watch him die, and- it's sweet and tragic.

Right after that, "Another of their horses died," followed by "They ate her," were very effective - probably one of the most effective parts of the story, because the lines are so sparse and to the point, building on the moment earlier when they fought over what to do with the first dead horse. They're like strikes, two more blows to Kent's psyche.

"...she looked to the side and watched her son as he jumped into the air and came back down in a puddle, the water splashing up around him."

This was a wonderful image, and a beautiful moment. It expresses all of their joy at seeing rain again. (It's also really adorable, and like, a universal sign of carefree childhood or something. XD) This was my other favorite moment, though the entire story is merciless, and I really like that.

Wonderful story~!
Sardonic Kender Smile chapter 1 . 6/4/2009

I just read it and then it was too deep and I couldn't review it right away properly and then came the band trip but now I'm here because it deserves a mondo-review and I'm still not up to the challenge and-[brick'd].

Let's see, where to start...Kent. Yeah, we'll start with him. You made his weariness SO POWERFUL in tiny ways, just the things he notices...especially with their son. That was SO hungry he was, and how little, and how much his parents were sacrificing, but he didn't understand because he'd never had anything better! He loved Sacae even in drought! Just like his mommy...poor Kent, putting up with such a hard-headed lady xD. We all know he does it because he loves her, though...slash I think Kent might be a bit stubborn himself, pride-wise, since it IS his farm and his family to provide for...and by gosh, he's gonna do it!

If he can. But he can't here. I love that he feels guilty-because obviously he can't control the rain, but he STILL GUILTS HIMSELF about Lyn and his son not having enough.

[It was nothing like the first time; when she had announced her first pregnancy, she had done so in the pond on the other side of the barn, her hands pulling his arms around from behind her to settle his palms against her stomach.] You wrote a fic about that :B

And then all the, you just kept heaping it on! The fire, the miscarriage, eating the horses...and Lyn fighting over that...THAT was epic. Logic tells me that she WOULD want to eat the horse, since the Native Americans were notorious for using every part of every animal, and the Mongols used to drink blood from their horses on long rides, but...both those cultures (which heavily influence Sacae) LOVED horses. Horses were, like, everything-they were how to find food and maintain life, essentially. So Lyn wanting to respect the horse's body/seeing it as a bad omen ALSO makes tons of sense, and it just made it that much more painful to have Kent-who never argues anything but is forced to override her here-make her eat it. It's also a bit of a sick thought, showing just how desperate they were...

Also. Ironic how the child learns to draw in the dust? He, the youth, the archetypal paragon of optimism and resilience and life, uses this drought to learn how to write and to draw pretty pictures.

[Defeated. That was how he felt, from his sun-bleached red hair to his calloused feet.] IMPOSSIBLE. K3NT C4NN0T B3 D3F34T3D.

[ than when they had consummated that married] "Marriage", not "married", there...

[As his four-year-old’s mouth opened in a wide grin, the heavens split apart and the rain fell so hard and fast that it hurt his skin.] BEST LINE EVER WHAT THE HECK OMG.

[he found himself looking down at the ground, at the deeply carved names that his wife had helped his son put there in the dust. He found that he could still read them.] AND symbolism for the win. Uhh, I love you insanely for this.

Also...I guess this isn't right, since it isn't a movie, but the book "Out of the Dust", by Karen Hesse? This fic reminded me of that SO MUCH. It's about this girl growing up in the Dust Bowl during the Great Depression...her style is almost poetic, but also really gritty. I used to read that book over and over again when I was little. You should check it out, actually, it seems like the sort of book you'd like...


Rayestar Ikina chapter 1 . 5/21/2009
-.-' I want to say this came from The Grapes of Wrath, but only because I'm reading it in English right now. It was the first thing I thought of, anyhow. But I think this is the first time this kind of idea has been applied to FE? Or something like that. Regardless, I liked it. _ A new, refreshing idea/plot to find.

Platerair Queen chapter 1 . 5/21/2009
I really enjoyed this piece. It was emotionally wrought and fully engaging to the reader. Thank you for writing this.

Normally, I write HUGE reviews, like way long, but, it has been a really muggy day!

Ah, I suppose I can take a crack at it. Well...

'A Lantern In Her Hand' by Bess Streeter Aldrich - I strongly recommend this one to read if you haven't. It is an amazing tale, but very heart-wrenching and heart-warming.

Or 'The First Four Years' by Laura Ingalls Wilder - I remember that this one dealt with a nasty bout of drought, among other things.

OR 'Australia' which was pretty recent, that too, dealt with the aspects of horse raising and rain on the dry land.

'The Gods Must Be Crazy' or 'Animals Are Beautiful People' - that too. Um. Maybe not the latter, because all I remember about that film is the "go away!" bird - called that because its cries sound like someone saying, "go away!".

If I'm wrong... yeah. Probably am. :D


P.S. I don't think Kent/Lyn is crap, to each their own. Besides, I always thought there was a reason why they never expanded on who Sue's parents were, in the first place. It's not unusual for tribes to be big on big family - take my dad's: his mom had THIRTEEN kids. More kids meant more had a chance to survive, if you want to look at it in a survivaling bloodline perspective, but more children equals more love. Sue's (and I personally like to think this way, more Rath/Wil action, XD) probably Rath's niece. BESIDES, like my dad said just today: if there's more people, just add more water to the soup, and BAM! Instant stomach-filler.
Xirysa chapter 1 . 5/20/2009
Have you ever heard the song "Drought" by Vienna Teng? Somewhat different, but it's still a beautiful/sad song. I love it very much.


SO. I thought that this was pretty damn epic. Especially the last couple of lines. I also thought that it was really cool how you condensed such a (relatively, of course) long amount of time into so few words. That takes skill. So kudos.

Um, yeah. Can't say anymore, other than that this is going into my favorites. Nice job!

Qieru chapter 1 . 5/20/2009
I would say I knew where the idea came from, but then I'd be cheating because you already told me. xD

Sad, sad... this one started out so sad! ;0;

[His shame was stronger than it had ever been. Even the days that were long gone, when Lady Lyndis had been injured—sometimes gravely—in battle, could not compare to the failure that he felt weighing down on his shoulders when he watched her give most of what little food she had to their son, and when, even after eating part of Lyndis’s food, he still complained of being hungry.] That, oh... so powerful, to compare the two. And then to follow with the differences in the pregnancies. Made a stark mental image, painful to see too. D:

[Though it made them both almost sick to do it, they ate Bleue.] Aw. But they couldn't let it go to waste...

[“I like it here. Papa, do you like it here, too?”] That is one sturdy child. o_o

[He stared at that little drop, stared and stared and stared and stared. His heart started to beat faster, faster than it ever had in his entire life, faster than it had beat when Lyndis had walked in on him changing his clothes before he had even known her for a full year, than when he had first kissed her, than when he had asked her to marry him, than when they had consummated that married, and faster than when she had cried out as contractions indicated she was going into labor for the first time.] That... is one. fast. heart. But also indicative of good tidings. :D

[“Kent, please answer me,” she begged, rough fingertips touching his face in concern. She set their son on his feet, both her hands grabbing his shoulders.] Aw, I like this action. x3 The emotion it conveys along with her words is so strong. x3

[the heavens split apart and the rain fell so hard and fast that it hurt his skin.] OUCH, but awesome.

[Lyndis tackled him to the muddy ground.] HE :D

[He wrapped his arms around her, one of his hands stroking her hair, the other just holding her close, and he pressed the side of his face against hers, the motion both gentle and firm at the same time. “I love you, too,” he whispered back, his voice hoarse and raw with emotion; he had only had that happen a handful of times in his life.] Aw ;A; And the lines before it too. So sweet~ All the pain and suffering lifted by the coming of rain~

I liked this~ {3