|Reviews for Time to Take|
| pointytilly chapter 1 . 2/18/2011
"a squeaking sound with no established onomatopoeia", ahaha. I love that.
The universe needs more good friendship fic like this.
| AGENT KELL chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
I really like how Ling is like this part of her life, and everything.
Or how friendly Winry is. :D How Ran Fan is hesitant and shy, but she can handle it because Ling said she could. Ahh~ How cute.
I love her character!
| dorcas chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
Wow, is all I have to say. That many words on friendship alone. You are truly one-of-a-kind on this site!
I nearly blew water up my nose when i got to "grenade-happy ninja freak". Ah, Ranfan doesn't get nearly enough publicity. This fic has such a continuous feeling to it, if you get what i mean. Makes it so easy to read and love.
| volepitofregret chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
Ah, this is so cute! There needs to be more Ranfan-Winry friendship, just as there needs to be more Havoc-Hawkeye friendship.
They're both beautifully in-character, and it had me smiling through the whole thing. Well done, and I'm watching all your writing now.
| Raskol chapter 1 . 5/21/2009
I don't see many Ran Fan stories around here, and this one's a gem. Great concept. I love your characterizations of Ran Fan and Winry. Poking fun at Ed at the end? - Great, and it made me smile. Lovely portrayal of the friendship. If I had to say one thing about the story, I'd have to say that it's "warm."
Some things I noticed:
You did this quite a few times. When you split up dialogue in the middle with dialogue tags, you need to make sure that the second part of the dialogue begins with an uncapitalized word if it's a continuation of the previous part (when you use the comma). If it's not, use a period, and you can capitalize the first word in the second portion. And, er, if that's incoherent (it probably is; it's hard to explain), some examples:
[“I brought out lemon soda,” she said. “It’s getting hot. Figured you could use a drink.”] - This is correct.
[“It is a long way,” she said after a moment, “But the posts are sound. There is only the wire to be strung.”] - This should be ["It is a long way, she said after a moment, "but the posts ... "]
[“It’s impressive anyway,” said Winry, “Grandma’s been meaning to get this pasture back in use for ages ...] - [It's impressive anyways," said Winry. "Grandma's been ...]
Also: [She had never had anyone emask/em to be her friend before.] - Typo.
These didn't much detract from the story, but they did make me pause a bit at the beginning.
Anyways, very, very nice. Thanks for writing! :)