|Reviews for Catching Flies|
| Takigawa Aki chapter 1 . 3/8/2011
I must admit, I love it. Your writing can use a little bit of work because you tend to leave out commas and so it gets a little hard to understand. Having to re-read sections to get what's going on is distracting. Have you considered a beta-reader?
The present tense is often misused but I love the feel it gives to this story. Instead of feeling like a story it feels like going through Dino's head to what happens and seeing it through his eyes. Your wording is often well-suited to him and really does sound like the story is told through his eyes, even though it's in third-person. That often gives it a better feel than first-person, though, because you can see a little more of the main character (in this case, Dino) than if it was first-person and he didn't realize what expression he had and all that.
Anyways. You were very good at showing Mukuro's struggles while he maintains his control, and the chemistry of the Kokuyo group was excellent. I wouldn't be able to write the comedy of the dream sequences simply because I'd be afraid to mess up the drama of the story, but you managed to add a whole new layer by showing Dino's more 'human' side that way. Mukuro seems fairly gentle here, but it's in a very tired way that I'm sure was the goal; it's believable and his personality is right on.
I don't even want to know what happened when Yamamoto came over. ;D Teehee.
Anyways, the barely hinted shounen-ai (his admiration of Mukuro as a mermaid, for instance) is teasing and totally lovely!
There's kind of a dreamlike quality to it that only makes it more personal. Your style is amazing! This is the quality I've been trying to master for years and have never quite been able to get. Instant fave. Please continue writing adorkable Dino and sly, sexy Mukuro. ;D
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
An absolutely amazing little story. Your characteization was superb. You really do the characters justice, and the situation itself was pulled off excellently. Well done.
| Shinreigari chapter 1 . 5/28/2010
Okhey I love this story Especially the part where Mukuro was fishing .. It was funny the way you describe that scene XDDD I love this part best XD Anyway, I wonder, why Chrome giggled at the end?
| chemiskorpion0002 chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
I love the story. Your characterization is wonderful and the characters' interactions are golden. I like the emotions portrayed in the story. Most especially for the Kokuyo Gang as they are not very much normal humans. Hehe. And there were pinches of humours I had a hard time getting over with. Thumbs up! Its a very great story!
| Kiriana Kunoichi chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
Oh, kat. This deserves a sequel. The character interaction was absolutely beautiful.
| lilcalosa chapter 1 . 8/14/2009
im really looking forward to the next chapter
| TotallyObsessive chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
Sorry in advance for this upcoming rant... :D I hope you don't mind.
I really like the idea of this story. It's a strong point and feeling but you made something that could have gone down a dark and dreary road, very heart felt and sweet if not totally hilarious :] I enjoyed this story a lot, I thought it had just enough emotion for a wonderful plot and insight but also wasn't worked to hard and was really very fun anf cute.
lol and the part in Dino's dreams cracked me up, especially the part with flounder and Mukuro asking if he raped his childhood, you had me laughing so hard for a good minute or two haha thats was great.
Just the whole story was excellent and well thought. You captured the characters perfectly and I really enjoy you're writing style, it's fluent and sophisticated but also easy to read and paints a good picture. haha sorry for going on like this, but once again great job!
| Nanzark chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
OMG this is so funny! i love the story but i dont really get the last part.i hope you continue this story cuz ill be reading it if you do!-
| pamellka chapter 1 . 6/22/2009
I dont get it either...why?D:
| mothmos chapter 1 . 6/14/2009
wa? so did mukuro used xray vision? 8D
I'm really a fan of your writing Kat
I think you're a great writer O.O