|Reviews for I Wish I Weren't the President|
| WordOfTheIlluminati chapter 7 . 2/24
This is brilliant. I love the concept and how you've set Tseng up and introduced the Turk organization. I also like the fact that you put so much though and realistic qualities into this. The President's reaction to his wife's death is phenomenal and points to very real-life situations. People tend to lose their heads when a close friend or lover of theirs dies or leaves. I also like the progression of the relationship between father and son. Yes, it's negative, but you've brought it out into the open in a good way. You've made it clear that the President had childish and judgmental tendencies near the beginning when you mentioned that Rufus's mother wouldn't save him this time, hinting that his father has always been this abrupt, but at the loss of that woman, he is unleashing what she was able to keep at bay. Either way, the progression was gradual and it makes me want to strangle the President nice and slow... I've always disliked him.
The overall progression of this story is good as it is developing, slow parts or not (we need these slow parts to give definition to our characters and to the story's foundation).
The only thing that I wish to suggest to you to work on is detail. You do not portray the appearances of animate or inanimate objects alike. If you mention appearances of someone or scenery it is brief, barely brushed over. Although the characters have realistic qualities and stances that we readers can connect to, detailing can keep your writing from appearing lifeless/robotic. This is the Showing vs. Telling which is a very, very hard thing to master because when is enough detail enough? You need detail to add that extra "umph" to your characters as well as give us insight to how you view them. Give us insight to the scenery that you see, that your version of the characters are stuck in. Describe the cold (temperatures), the smells, and even dive a bit deeper into emotions.
I like that you're bringing in all the little events, ages, and such into this story. Especially when you introduce the characters of the series that don't get too much light shined on them (like Veld and Tseng for instance, and Cissnei(did you know that that is not her real name?)). Ties it all in quite nicely and... Sephiroth's age being 20? Whaaaaat? Just no.
Keep up this amazing work, please! I want to see how this story goes so I'll be keeping an eye out for it (as I cannot follow this beautiful creation on this multi-user account - ).
(Reviewed by The Defiled)
| Woofee chapter 3 . 7/3/2010
it's beautiful i loved how everyone had a part and you really made the 's character perfectly please finish it.
| Athenaion chapter 4 . 6/9/2010
Tseng 's bed story is cute.
Rufus, being a almost four-year-old boy, was too freakingly mature. Only when he took out his toy soldiers, he was like a normal child.
| Athenaion chapter 3 . 6/9/2010
Is the boy talking to Tseng in the street Reno? Kind of like him.
This chapter makes me sympathize president Shinra. He lost too much in a day. Even being too harsh to his son, he might be just too stressed and lost.
Poor little Rufus, I wonder if he could understand fully what his father had said. It was too much to a so little boy.
About Lazard, I am not sure how much older he was than Rufus, but He might not be older than Tseng. I think he was a very young boy then, not able to play important role in Shinra, or even not being revealed to president Shinra. Maybe you can insert him into the story in later chapters.
| Athenaion chapter 2 . 6/8/2010
Poor poor Rufus. So little Rufus having to face his loss of mother is very sad. And it's very sad for Yori too.
The small strife between Turk and Shinra army is interesting. The idea is quite original to me. I have never read other fictions concerning this before.
Ah, Tseng showed up in this chapter. Exciting. The girl's mathematical logic is strange. Children learn addition and subtraction earlier than multiply divide，but it seemed the latter claimed her arithmetic. So then Turks consisted of mostly very young people?
I think OC sometimes is necessary. Some fan fiction writers paired up the inherent characters so unconvincingly, despite inconsistency of backgrounds, characters, upbringings and goals. OCs sometimes add more reality to a story.
| protovy chapter 4 . 5/12/2010
God I love this. It's so cute. I mean little Ruffie and I feel so sorry for Tseng, especially the bed time story. XD Also this is a really rare one when President Shinra isn't just some evil man. Keep up the great work.
| Athenaion chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
Ah, this lovely lovely family atmosphere! I hadn't expected Rufus ever lived in so sweet family. But You depicted it very well and actually, I am affected too much by other fan fictions.
Huh huh, a 4-year-old Rufus is cute! Even President Shinra got his sense of humour. Mrs. Shinra seemed a very kind hearted lady and caring mother. A scared Rufus is even cuter, so naive!
Ugh, happy days never last long. The ending of the chapter is so very sad. So, a happy family ends, and a cold one emerges? It's bad for both of the remaining members.
| Null chapter 4 . 2/8/2010
This is a great story! im glad you got back on it so keep up the good work!
| ViviMouse chapter 4 . 2/3/2010
I have to admit that this chapter is my favorite one by now; I just loved Tseng's feelings concerning his new duty. It seemed so authentic!
Moreover, the moment he shared with Rufus were so cute! *_*
Well, I hope to read more soon! :D
| MikariStar chapter 3 . 1/19/2010
this is very well written!
| MikariStar chapter 1 . 1/19/2010
poor little Ruru
| ViviMouse chapter 3 . 10/28/2009
I really like this story! *_* I'd like you to keep it up, please! :D
Well, I just find President Shinra nicer as I'd think he is, concerning his wife xD
| sailor winx chapter 1 . 6/5/2009
This is good first chapter. If you need help with some FF7 stuff I know a awsome info site and there is playthough on youtube by goingcrazy201. I hope that helps a little.
| Aeriths-Rain chapter 1 . 5/24/2009
This was very good, poor little Rufus, this maks a lot of sense with his character
| QueenAlla chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
Yay! You finally updated XD
I really enjoyed this, despite the tragic ending. I could imagine something like that happening to Rufus. Oh yeah, and Rufus as a kid? I loved it! He sounds so adorable!
Really well done, I hope you will continue writing this-it's a definite fave. :)