|Reviews for What happened after the war?|
| Guest chapter 4 . 12/9/2013
Why your story is a disgrace:
1) OOC for everyone. Terrible
2) Complete Mary-Sues, gag-worthy
3) Predictable Plot
4) Terrible grammer
5) Changes POV way to often
| SquishyBijou chapter 14 . 2/2/2010
Okay, firstly, this is way OOC. The first chapter is all in bold, which really hurts my (and most people's) eyes. The kids are Mary-Sues, especially Aqua. There are a lot of grammar errors that can be fixed, along with quite a few spelling errors, with spellcheck or a beta. The plot is...well...bad. There's not much detail or description. Writing the POV is a problem so either don't do POV, make it third person POVs or just make it obvious instead. My community. Au revior,
| hecates chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
Do you like driving your readers blind? No? Then, apparently, you obviously don't know how to write. Aqua? REALLY? You switch POVs way too often. You have to just write in third person.
Get. A. Fucking. Beta.
They solve all your problems, I think, if they aren't blind at the end of it. No unnecessary bold, and you have too much OOCness. Again with the beta.
Get a beta or get off the site. We have enough bad fics on our hands; we don't need your pathetic excuse on it, either. So kindly delete this, if you don't want to get a beta.
| ZoeNightshade2214 chapter 14 . 7/30/2009
I liked it, Not how iexpected it to end though. Good job with this story.
| Kay Celestine chapter 13 . 7/11/2009
**This is not a flame**
Not even the regular OOC (which I encourage)
You switch your POV's too much.
Get a beta... It will do wonders.
Seeing that you're new, I won't get on your case... but get a beta. Now!
| joeythedemigod chapter 12 . 7/2/2009
another good chapter
| joeythedemigod chapter 11 . 6/30/2009
hi lol cant log in now but its joeythedemigod nice chapter lol the kid almost got caught
| Elyon1996 chapter 11 . 6/30/2009
Okay, if you have read this story and the comments, I want you to comment as well! Tell me what I can improve on and what I'm doing well. I NEED FEEDBACK, PEOPLE!
| Calliope Muse chapter 11 . 6/28/2009
too short! update soon!
| FrenchFryFourteen chapter 10 . 6/28/2009
o wow ellie! hurry! write more! thats an incredible cliff hanger!
| Zach chapter 10 . 6/26/2009
this is an amazing stroy! Hope you have more chapters comeing.
The only ting i would change is you have spelling errors.
| FrenchFryFourteen chapter 1 . 6/26/2009
hey sim its me becca you are doin awsum and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! ignore those idiots who are givin you such negative results!they just suck and are jealous of you so screw them! good job!keep on rocking!p.s how do i 'write' a story?
| joeythedemigod chapter 9 . 6/26/2009
cant wait to read about the capture the flag
| Nightmare Before Halloween chapter 8 . 6/23/2009
... I have to agree with Aish. She touched on everything.
| joeythedemigod chapter 7 . 6/13/2009