|Reviews for The Prank War|
| An-Jelly-Ca chapter 1 . 6/11/2009
“Oh it is SO on,” Cory said, “and may the best ‘man’ win”
“Oh ‘she’ will,” Sophie said
Haha. Sophie is so funny!
| AndroB chapter 1 . 5/27/2009
First of all, I don't think having to clean dishes would cause Sophie to start an all out prank war with Cory. Why was she doing the dishes anyway? Did Cory con her into it? Did he promise her something for doing it and then break his promise? And why would she play pranks just because he's her friend?
I think you should go into more detail about how the prank war started beginning with how Sophie ended up with Cory's kitchen duty. Also, why does Cory have kitchen duty when his dad is the chef? And why did Sophie not complain to her dad about doing Cory's chore.
As for the pranks, I think you have some good ideas but you should flesh them out some more. Go into details about the pranks. Show me how Cory/Sophie does the plotting and scheming and what happens to their victim. I want to be able to relate to these characters. I want to know how they're feeling and what's going through their minds. As it is right now, the reader feels detached from the characters.
Just remember: instead of telling the reader whats going on, show them. Don't tell the reader what happened, show them. Be descriptive.
| JACOB chapter 1 . 5/27/2009
Haha, Laurie, I liked it!
You were right, it was funny! :)
But I still don't like to write...
| fan of drake and Josh chapter 1 . 5/27/2009
this is unoriginal...the finger gluing was stolen from Drake and Josh
| Jenna chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
I liked this, alot. I thought it was wonderful.