|Reviews for Pride Comes Before The Fall|
| BlazeStryker chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
This.. is a bit hard to swallow.. not Ranma snapping, but how you had them all crap on him at once.
Cologne, on hearing of such a disgrace, would have killed Mousse for ruining Shampoo's honor and Ryouga for spitting in the face of the village, as she had been his teacher. Then she would have helped Son-In-Law get his manhood back and used it for leverage.
Nodoka, Soun, Kasumi, and Akane are totally OOC. Genma would threaten kicking him out to goad him, but never do it. Nabiki.. would have reacted that way, if everyone turned on Ranma, but it should never have gotten to that point for the above reasons.
I can see everyone using him as a sacrificial lamb.. but not for the reasons you gave.
If you're going on fanon assumptions, you might consider giving an alternate history to explain them. I know backstory's a pain, but in cases like this, it's worth its weight in gold.
| Tai Khan chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
Hopefully, _someone_, will come to Ranma's defense and point out that remaining Saotomes and the Tendo family had royally screwed up and proved that they _lacked_ any honor with their treatment of Ranma, while completely ignoring Ryouga's and Mousse's involvement in what happened.
Might be interesting to see the rest with Furinkan High School, minus the Kunos of course, shunning Akane and Nabiki, refusing to talk to either one or remain in their presence more than absolutely necessary. And openly ridiculing Ryouga and Mousse if they should appear at the school.
And I wonder what Tofu's reaction would be? If he's even still in the area.
Hmm, could the Amazons come under public ridicule? The Nekohanten boycotted?
What's Ukyo's reaction going to be?
| Nysk chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
A bit ooc but hey, very enjoyable!
I look forward to seeing what comes next and hope you have something wonderfully vicious in mind.
| Daert chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
What's a super-powered,enraged,ronin, martial artist to do?
| Commander Galos chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
interesting prologue. So, Ranma is now on the warpath, huh? Considering what happened, I'd do the same. Now, what I'd like to know is, where in the storyline is this happening? Pre-Saffron or Post-Saffron?
Now, you make me wonder... what about Happosai? Enemy or ally? Yes, he's made a mess of Ranma in the past, but considering that the lech doesn't pay too much credit to the now nullified Tendo/Saotome agreement, and that Ranma is his heir, he might want to keep at least one practitioner of his Art around. Now, if you're going after the "all-must-die" approach, then ignore my reasoning.
As for when Ranma goes after the Amazons, a small part should be devoted regarding what Mousse told Cologne in order for her to reinstate the Kiss of Death. He must have used some very serious arguments to override the matriarch's desire to add Ranma to the Tribe. As for Shampoo, it looks like you're going for the "because-it-is-the-law" approach, thus she never truly loved Ranma.
And what about the rest of the Nerima Regulars? I mean Ukyo, Kodachi, Kuno, their father, and perhaps Konatsu? Heck, even Pantyhose Taro. What about them, huh?
Another thing that you should keep in mind here, is the psychological terror angle. Ranma has snapped, and promised veneance. So, he'll come back after the others. What about their mental state? For example, Nabiki and Akane. The Ice Queen now has no one to defend her. Akane without support is grossly inefective. What is going now through their minds? Will Nabiki try to escape Nerima or stay and try to call favors for protecion? Will Akane realize she's outmatched or let her pride guide her to her doom? Little details like those to flesh out the story, man.
In short, this story shows promise. Keep 'em coming!
| griffenvamp chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
frist good story second i can see soun genma nadoko and akane
jumping to conclusetion when ryouga toold the other some what that had happend. but i can see nabiki tossing ranma a side
saying that your cruse is looked that i can yuse you this doesn't sound like the nabiki we know espcialy if nabiki had a rangment with ranma she would look for other all trunitves. as for kasumi she plays the dutifull daughter.
as for shampoo would go back to kill ranma that ealy means she didn't love him at all, muose is a given.
but clonge would what to make ranma an amozon of here house
now that she explain shpooes detion to kill ranma.
what about yuko? will she acept ranma or aboned him too.
interesting story flesh it out a little more would ya and keep
up the good work
| Tribun chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
Wow, Ranma going on a tour of revenge? That will be quite a bloody ride. And I bet he'll want to take out his strongest enemy first, namely Ryoga. He hates him especially for all the shit he gave him, so I think the pig will get it next.
| TheonLee chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
This is great! I wanna read more! I order you to continue! XD
| Mizuno Tenshi2 chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
Wow, that wasn't dark at all!
Interesting idea and I'm curious to see where you'll take it. Should be a fun ride. :D