|Reviews for Pride Comes Before The Fall|
| Guest chapter 2 . 10/7/2015
Before Ranma tells Happosai he's declaring a blood feud he should have said something like
"I was forced to give my childhood to go on a training trip I didn't wanna go on to become the best in the world, I was tricked into signing a seppuku pledge, I cursed because that fat ass panda didn't learn Chinese, forced to solve the Tendo's and Amazon's problems, blamed for everything that goes wrong, now thanks to two assclowns I'm tossed aside like a piece of garbage or a broken tool. So, No I'm not going get even I going to declare a blood feud..."
| Guest chapter 7 . 10/7/2015
Shampoo should have said
"Stupid duck I never be yours because Shampoo is girl who like girl not boy. Shampoo react poorly after losing, Shampoo should have given kiss of marriage from start, Ranma perfect for Shampoo because could also have child"
| bmagana595 chapter 8 . 7/12/2015
i like it.
| bmagana595 chapter 2 . 7/12/2015
Finally, eberyome who has been cruel to Ranma is getting their punishment, except happosai, he's cool and Ukyo as well.
| SlickRCBD chapter 2 . 6/18/2015
This was an amusing "revenge fic", but two things stand out to me.
One, how the heck was Ranma able to convince the bank to essentially let him steal the Kuno money? Even if it was just lost or misplaced, if it was that easy, nobody would trust banks to keep their money in it. Generally only the government can do that sort of thing.
Second, you have this set during the incident with Herb, which happens BEFORE Ranma ever meets Saffron. It was the fallout with the incident with Herb that led to Ranma obtaining the Gekkaja from Herb to help him fight Saffron.
It's confusing the sequence of events when you start referencing Saffron owning Ranma a favor and all that since the first chapter makes it seem that Ranma and Saffron had never met. Also Ranma had never killed before Saffron.
| Screaming Dean chapter 8 . 6/17/2015
Even though I've read this whole fanfic already I had to read it all over again. It was that good.
| turbomagnus chapter 7 . 5/24/2015
Type your review for this chapter here...
| George chapter 8 . 3/2/2015
I'm sorry, but i tried to read your fanfiction, i prefer your 'Do It' over this one, first of all, you made the characters very cold. In Do it, you allowed Kasumi to redeem herself, but in the Pride, you made her suffer, in both Do, and pride, you made Nabiki suffered, but redeemed her in the Alternate Ending, if you followed the Manga, Ryoga's Desire for Revenge on Ranma, diminished over time, he did see him as a friend, but not as a bestie or a good friend, but a frenemy. They both got stronger off of each other. Mousse is worthless, and Cologne is no dummy, she wouldn't pick on a guy who fought a god and won. Your writing style is good, but if this story took place in the Musk arc, i would be more inclined to accept it, but since you put it in after Mount Phoenix, it's less likely this would've happened.
| Maximara chapter 1 . 1/24/2015
The set up to Ranma going on a revenge spree is ridiculous.
Genma had been setting things up so he could retire on Ranma's work and there is NO WAY he would throw that all away.
Given this occurs after Saffron there is NO WAY Cologne would make a person that powerful an enemy of the tribe.
Also given the Pot of Liberation is still intact why would anyone disown Ranma?
The thing about Akane and Ryoga forgets about Unryu Akari.
I could go on but there are so many things wrong with the set up that it hurts the rest of the fic.
| Jfmam chapter 8 . 11/17/2014
Well, I have to say, despite my problems with the story, I kept reading.
A few points, other than the usual ones.
Your writing is quite good, though there are some issues with grammar. You seem to use double negatives where you shouldn't. Spelling was quite good, though there may have been a couple of mistakes.
Here's my issue. Having read this alternate ending, I fail to see how this version of Ranma is any better than this version of Akane. I mean, in this you have Akane TRY to ruin Ranma's life, as well as sleep with Ryoga, despite her general ignorance of Ryoga's feelings in the canon. Ranma on the other hand, engineers the deaths of the Kunos and the Musk dynasty, before locking Akane into permanent curse form. I just don't see how one can be such a horrible person for their actions, while the other is apparently justified in whatever revenge he visits on enemies.
I would also like to point out that in the manga, Genma only ever engaged Ranma to one of the Tendos (Akane hadn't been decided on at the time) and Ukyo, which is itself a bit of a stretch, given that he stole Ukyo's dad's Okonomiyaki cart, which was supposed to be the dowry. Genma is a pretty terrible dad, but at least in regards to the fiancee situation, he has been wrongfully accused.
One this point, if you don't like certain characters, and feel they deserve comeuppance, I don't see the need to exaggerate their characters and slap them with things they never really did. It implies that whatever they had done in canon wasn't actually deserving of punishment, which only serves to undermine the reason for the character bashing in the first place.
Anyway, this is fanfiction. You have every right to interpret the characters however you choose, just as I can disagree with your interpretation. Ignore my ramblings if you want, I guess I was writing this as much for myself as to provide legitimate criticism.
Keep up the writing.
| Jfmam chapter 7 . 11/17/2014
Well, there have been less horrible fates this time round, so that's something. Mind you, this presents issues of its own. Ranma hasn't been unfairly punished, so his revenge against the Kunos having already occurred at this point is troubling.
As to characterisation, same issues as before; I don't know why you hate Akane so much, because she is NOTHING like how you've portrayed her. I also find it questionable that everyone would suddenly side with Ranma upon Ryoga and Mouse's confessions, when Ranma had already mentioned their intervention and been told that it didn't matter. Don't get me wrong, this outcome is preferable to the disproportionate retribution of the main story, but it doesn't make much sense. Not that I found the original situation particularly likely either.
Again, this isn't really my sort of fic, so my comments reflect that bias.
| Jfmam chapter 6 . 11/17/2014
WHY? Why out of all the characters in the series, would you make the one most deserving of comeuppance out to be half-way decent?! I mean, after all Happousai ACTUALLY DID to Ranma in the series, why does he become this sage guide who has the moral authority to cast someone out of his school?! If Ranma could have only betrayed Happousai at the end, I could have taken something out of this. At least Ranma got his happy ending, though after all he did, he didn't deserve it.
| Jfmam chapter 5 . 11/17/2014
I should not have read this chapter. Hopefully the worst is over. Still sad over the treatment of all the characters (including Ranma), but especially Nabiki. Nothing deserved what she got.
| Jfmam chapter 4 . 11/17/2014
I'm sorry, your writing is quite good, and I'm going to continue reading, but I just have to say this.
The character derailment is horrible. Everyone has done something out of character, and even those close to character have been tainted by one action or another. The whole thing between Akane and Ryoga is just horrible.
I know it's necessary for the purposes of the story, but it's still sad. I don't think I'll be reading any dark fics after this one.
| Jfmam chapter 2 . 11/17/2014
I can't honestly say that I like this fic.
Your writing is mostly good, except for a few spelling and grammar errors.
Really, the issue isn't you, it's the story. The situation is so farfetched that it's impossible to keep the characters in character. That said, it's still painful to see the cast of this manga/anime so warped.
Yet despite all that, I'm going to continue reading. Despite my issues with the story, I want to see what happens. Morbid fascination, I suppose.
I'm sorry if this offends you; it's my fault for reading this when the summary makes it clear what it's about. I don't usually like dark fics. As I said, morbid fascination.