|Reviews for Life After Forks|
| XHaileeX chapter 26 . 4/18/2012
I will be honest. I hated the way this story ended. I am not trying to be rude, I am just very particular on what I like. With saying that I am absolutely posetive that I love your writing. It was wicked intense, and had me on the edge of my seat, and I officially hate cliffhangersm where you chose to dliver one at none other than the end of the book. That is why I hated the ending, not because I am a book snob (which I am) but because of the awful cliffhanger.
| Nyx'sReincarnation chapter 26 . 3/5/2012
GREAT STORY! It really should be a fifth bood. The ending of the last book in the series didn't really work for me...
Keep up the great work!
Well, I've got to go and read the sequel now... lol
| ThiglDub chapter 26 . 2/4/2012
Well, I made it to the end, read the whole thing. Your writing style is nice, with flowing and descriptive scenes. Which makes my critique even more irritating.
You say in one of the early chapter's author's notes that you intended for the story to have no plot, but then, in other notes, you say that you are getting into the plot.
I observed that you had several plots, many story lines, but every time you got close to an interesting twist, you threw it down and ran away. It left many plot points dangling unsatisfactorily in the wind.
Bella was pushed down some stairs at school by a girl who thought they were elves. There was so much detail leading up to this incident, then it was dropped.
Maria came with the intention of stealing Nessie. Then we never heard from her again, she just gave up.
There was a mysterious coven leader who wanted to meet them and sent someone ahead. Then they met and all was fine.
The Volturi were going to the Asian coven for possible nefarious purposes. But, no, they were just there to visit.
And, it goes on and on. Every time the story sets up a possible conflict, the author just stopped and ran away, sometimes with no explanation.
There are other problems also. The author forgets where her characters are, and sometimes puts them in two places. An example is when the Cullens are meeting with the mysterious Asian coven, Nessie and Jacob run into the woods to do wome recon and get some distance. The next paragraph they are all standing in a clearing, but Nessie is somehow in Esme's lap. I never figured this one out. This also contributed to the anti-climatic resolution to this possible story line...none of it made any sense at all.
In another chapter, Edward is out hunting with his brothers, then Rosalie, then he returns. Then Bella tells him to go hunt because he hasn't fed in weeks, they go hunting. A few paragraphs later Edward tells Bella to go hunting because she hasn't eaten in weeks. What?
The author says that the gist of the story is how Bella adapts to life after being changed, but Bella "dealing" with her emotions is only addressed for a very small amount.
This story has so much potential, I would recommend a thorough read-through, and a good editor who can ask questions to help the author maximize the plot. (or to find the plot)
| blueberrypie94 chapter 26 . 11/28/2011
Wow this is really awesome!
| sahlamari chapter 12 . 11/25/2011
Queen or not, this was a BAD move on her part. Being a parent myself, it's the worst thing a parent can do, make the other one look like the bad guy. I know, because I get this all the time from my husband. Bad Bella! Bad! I really hope Edwrd gives her hell for it, but I highly doubt it...
| sahlamari chapter 9 . 11/25/2011
Well, this chapter is a bit controversial, I guess. I like it that Bella and Jacob still have feelings for each other that go beyond frienship. But I always had a soft spot for their love story to begin with, and I wished she had chosen him. I'm sure a lot of your other readers might have not liked that, though...
| sahlamari chapter 8 . 11/25/2011
That was lovely. I like that there is no plot in this story, although I'm not sure that Maria will give up so easily. It's nice to just watch them BE, not Do. Lovely story!
| sahlamari chapter 6 . 11/25/2011
Elves? Really? hehe... And then Bella has to fall down on purpose... That was great! Oh, the irony...
| sahlamari chapter 5 . 11/25/2011
I have a feeling they should have destroyed Maria then and there. I know I would. There is such a thing as being overly peacefull and civilized.
| sahlamari chapter 4 . 11/25/2011
I could feel Bella's pain about the unavoidable loss of Charlie like it was my own. Maybe because I'm in a place in my life where I can relate... except for the vampire part, naturally! It was a wonderfull, bittersweet chapter...
| sahlamari chapter 3 . 11/24/2011
I enjoyed the Bella-Derrick-Edward and the Nessie scenes very much! I also liked very much that you have kept in your story the special relationship between Bella and Jacob. It's one of my favorite things in BD. Thanks!
| sahlamari chapter 2 . 11/24/2011
This is so true to character and canon, it amazes me! Very good writing, and generally, very well done.
| sahlamari chapter 1 . 11/24/2011
I couldn't agree more with what you say in your profile. I always enjoy a good AU, but the way I started reading ff was to find out what happened NEXT. Aw far as I can tell from your first chapter, I'm going to enjoy your story very much!
| gkkstitch chapter 22 . 9/20/2011
Sadly, this where we must part ways. I added your story to my canon community, but I feel you are taking the same path SM took in Breaking Dawn when she turned our love affair between E&B into a family show. But thats not what I loves most about Twilight so I find I'm skimming over the parts that don't interest me which has become more and more of the chapters. Thanks for the ride up to now, though!
| gkkstitch chapter 19 . 9/20/2011
I'm sorry I have to disagree with you on this point: "how it was for the man I was once in love with to be the one to imprint on my daughter."
No way Bella was "in love with" Jake. She loved him, but she was never "in love" with him.