|Reviews for Making Up|
| bookworm1287 chapter 1 . 6/11/2011
even though mr. weasly likes muggle stuff, how could he have plugged anything in?
| ProfessorChris chapter 9 . 10/2/2009
That was a great little story...
| HopelesslyLostInRomance chapter 9 . 6/2/2009
cool but like I said b4 You should try to write in the past tence and people will like your story more. I like the plot tho!
| HopelesslyLostInRomance chapter 3 . 6/2/2009
Honestly you should write in the past tence but other than that its an awesome story so far!
| LILY R0SE chapter 1 . 6/1/2009
your fanfic's good so far
the only thing i don't like about is that you don't stick to once tense.
you use past and present tense in the same sentence and it's kind of hard to read it.
but other than that. . . good job :)
| Merlyn the wizard chapter 9 . 5/31/2009
Nice I liked your story even if there were some parts when I thought they woulddo something else, but you are the author. It was a good story I am hoping for another one.
| kattobangyou chapter 6 . 5/30/2009
"So, Harry, how come you haven’t talk to Ginny yet?"
Should've been written as, "So, Harry, how come you haven’t talked with Ginny yet?”
Ah-ha!: "It’s not you at all." Should've been written as, "It’s not like you at all."
Mistake: "Dinner was unlike any dinners they usually have." Should've been, "Dinner was unlike any dinner they usually had."
You might wanna check this: "Hermione checked out the window and found Harry on the garden." It should be, "Hermione checked out the window and found Harry in the garden."
On the clause: "...his also doing things that he never does before..." You should've written he's... not his.
You did it again: "...He told me that HIS (should be he's) doing those stuff just to get you (out of) his mind..."
About "...right his already planning to talk to you..." I presume that you wanted to say, "...right NOW HE'S already planning to talk to you..."
You didn't put move in it's past tense form on the part of, "Ginny move closer to the window..."
There is no such word as "sunken" I hope that you meant "SUNK."
But as usual, I'm looking forward for an update dear cousin...
I really have to praise you for this... even I can't think of such a theme... ;D More power to you and your stories! If you want to, I'll beta-read 'em for ya... :D
| kattobangyou chapter 5 . 5/29/2009
You've made a big mistake on this part... "He also made 2 coffees (For Mr. and Mrs. Weasley), 2 hot chocolates (Ron and George) and 2 orange drinks (Harry and Ginny)."
It should be, "He also made 2 cups of coffee (For Mr. and Mrs. Weasley), 2 cups of hot chocolate (Ron and George) and 2 orange drinks (Harry and Ginny).
| kattobangyou chapter 4 . 5/29/2009
You made a mistake here: "Harry, followed me here, and I know that he just wanted to talk to me, but then I decide to leave and then he grab my hand."
It should've been written as, "Harry followed me here. I know that he just wanted to talk to me, but then I decided to leave and then he grabbed my hand."
Ah-tu, here's another one: "You’ve just arrived here, didn’t you?" It should've been written as, "You've just arrived here, haven't you?" And then, "Okay. But what am I suppose to do then?" You should've added a 'd' on suppose...
"Harry had seemed to be lightened up a bit." should've been written as, "Harry seemed to have lightened up a bit."
You missed an apostrophe and an 's' on, "It our fight anyway."
| kattobangyou chapter 3 . 5/29/2009
Ah.. here I am. . time to review..
You really should remember to place your periods.
“I said dinner’s ready. So fix yourself and lets get going”
You should've said:
“I said dinner’s ready, fix yourself and let's get going.”
And you made a slight mistake at "Ginny tied her hair into a pony tail like and straightened up her shirt." If I were you, I'd have written it like this: "Ginny tied her hair up into a ponytail and straightened her shirt." That way it wouldn't confuse the readers.
You made used the wrong term in this sentence, "Unfortunately, there was only one sit left and that’s beside Harry." It should've been seat, not sit.
At the part: "As much as she hates to sit there, she just sits there in order to lessen the commotion in the dinning area," You should've done it like this: "As much as she hates to sit there, she just does in order to lessen the commotion in the dining area."
And what exactly did you mean by: "So, Ron, anything new about you?" Igf Harry was asking Ron about things he's been doing, it should've been like this: "So Ron, anything new happening?" or "Ron, has anything new popped up?"
There's a slight mistake at: "Ron was the one whose being prank at, not the customers itself."
If I were to write this part, it should've been: "Ron was always the one who was affected by the pranks, not the customers themselves."
Hmm... I'm afraid you rushed a little at this part. You should've made Harry admit at the later chapters... but I guess this is acceptable.
| kattobangyou chapter 2 . 5/29/2009
Hmm.. quite interesting... be careful next time though...
| Merlyn the wizard chapter 5 . 5/28/2009
I like the breakfastscene and the part about the arrival of Hermione. Oh and thanks for the answer.
| Caoimhe Rose chapter 1 . 5/27/2009
very good, i really liked how u incorporated the computer into the story.
| Merlyn the wizard chapter 3 . 5/27/2009
This story gained my interest, I hope you'll update soon. Good chapter so far and I am really interested who told her that Harry was seeing anyone.
| somber-quill chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
Very interesting. I like the idea of the Weasleys having a computer with an internet connection. And to top it all, Ron and Harry's using the messenger! How nice. :))
looking forward to more chapters