|Reviews for Along Came a Family|
| sithlorde1988 chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
This is shaping up to be a really good fic so far. I admit I was a bit surprised at the idea of Snape being Harry's father at first, but I kind of like the idea. Keep up the good work.
| Rainstorm77 chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
What's going to happen? Will their relationship get out? I can't wait to find out! This is so exciting! I'm at the egde of my seat, wanting to know what will happen. Update soon!
| Eve27 chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
That was just so cute the ending of this chapter. I really want to read more so please update soon. Great story can't wait for more.
| Purplehonor chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
Fantastic! I like that you have kept Snape somewhat in character with his snarkiness, but softened him a bit. Please update soon!
| Very Small Prophet chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
“I will need to enter his mind to help him regain his conciseness…”
It’s true that Professor Snape’s manner of speaking can be concise (not to mention terse and laconic) but in this case the word you want is “consciousness.” Do not trust spell-checkers; look the word up to make sure it means what you want it to mean.
In another story Harry neutralized Snape’s Dark Mark by shouting at it in Parseltongue, commanding that the serpent portion of the tattoo leave and never come back. I really liked that idea, but you couldn’t use it because it’s been done already. Rats! Your solution was a good one, too, even if it wasn’t quite as dramatic.
I’ll also take this opportunity to mention that I don’t like the business of Poppy “spelling” medicine directly into a patient’s body. I don’t blame you for using it since it’s a common device in fan fiction, but if it were possible no one in the wizarding world would be safe from poison.
There is a final point that I have been forcibly restraining myself from mentioning all the way though this story. (“Don’t fuss, don’t fuss, don’t fuss,” I keep telling myself.) One does not capitalize the words “father” and “son” except in direct address—and it isn’t necessary even then. Harry may be the Savior of the Wizarding World, but despite his eventual resurrection he is not Jesus Christ, and Sev is most certainly not God the Father. Thank Juno for small favors.
An example of correct usage (although I personally would not use capitalization in either case): Severus said, “It is time, Son, for me to give you a little talk about contraceptive potions.” It was at moments such as these that Harry wished he were not the son of a potions master.
I can’t help fussing about such matters. When it comes to our glorious English language I am a very Severus Snape, snarling and glaring and leaving innocent dunderheads trembling in my wake. Like our beloved Severus, however, I do not bother correcting the hopeless Neville Longbottoms of this world. I’m enjoying your story a lot, and am offering correction so you can make it better—and so you can stop driving me buggy with misplaced capitalization. You don’t want to be hit by my devastating Nitpicking Curse. It’s my own creation, noted down in my potions text: Hold your wand like a pen, move it in small Palmer-Method ovals, and proclaim “Strunk-White!”
P.S. Don’t capitalize “boy” as a form of address either, unless the speaker is Vernon Dursley using the word as an insulting replacement for Harry’s name.
| B00kw0rm92 chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
Aw! Go Harry! I hope his plan works! I can not wait to see what's next!
| rebekahalana chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
Yes , yes I do ... Warm , fuzzy ... & worried ... I hope this turns out alright ...
| RosaE chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
Oh, that was so sweet :) Love it! Please update soon. Thanks!
| Red September91 chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
So so amazing. Thanks for the consistent quick updates. Your the best. Laura xx
| Rori Potter chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
That was great. Update soon.
| mrscakeakajane chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
very warm and fuzzy, harry really is his fathers son
| Sir Percy Blakeney chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
ooh! what an interesting turn in the plot. Can't wait to see the wizarding world's reaction to Snape being Harry's father. Also I wonder who will want to leave Volddie's rank to join force with The Order. Very good chapter once again,
| annv chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
loved it can't wait for Harry to start removing the Dark Mark
| bats212 chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
Oh, Missyann, this was perfect! From Severus waking and Dumbledore's request to Harry making his stand.
I'm sure the road to victory will not be easy but I can't wait to read about it.
Thanks for posting and please update soon :)
| Valmarien chapter 18 . 7/9/2009
I am really intrigued by Harry's ability to remove the Dark Mark - it will be interesting to find out why and how.
I really like Harry's attitude to the war and his plan.
There was just a small issue with the writing: there are places where the narrative slips from past to present and back again inconsistently. Since the story is written in the past, it should stay in the past throughout. I hope you don't mind me saying it...
I've really enjoyed this chapter. I look forward to the next one!