|Reviews for A New Order|
| mckertis chapter 2 . 7/19
Too much inept exposition. Too little formatting.
| Corwyn chapter 18 . 4/24
I'm greatly enjoying this story and look forward to your continuing it. Thank you for sharing it with us.
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/3
Когда будет продолжение?
| X chapter 2 . 1/7
Here's a helpful tip: You should start a new paragraph when:
When you begin a new idea or point. New ideas should always start in new paragraphs. If you have an extended idea that spans multiple paragraphs, each new point within that idea should have its own paragraph.
To contrast information or ideas. Separate paragraphs can serve to contrast sides in a debate, different points in an argument, or any other difference.
When your readers need a pause. Breaks between paragraphs function as a short "break" for your readers—adding these in will help your writing be more readable. You would create a break if the paragraph becomes too long or the material is complex.
When you are ending your introduction or starting your conclusion. Your introductory and concluding material should always be in a new paragraph. Many introductions and conclusions have multiple paragraphs depending on their content, length, and the writer's purpose.
| Lionasha No Bruja chapter 1 . 1/3
This is... pretty ridiculous. You have no setup and no explanation for any of the various ooc actions going on in this chapter. The clichés are many, but they might make more sense if you didn't throw them at your readers all at once.
| DennisJayHawthorne chapter 14 . 11/7/2015
Lovely and wonderful so far.
| hpf2114 chapter 18 . 10/12/2015
I see it has been a couple of years since you have updated this story. This is a fantastic story. Very intelligent and well written. Writers of your caliber are hard to find and apparently harder to keep. I hope you return to this story. It is just to good to not no how you would finish it. Full marks!
| MARDONSGT chapter 18 . 9/8/2015
Great story, very captivating, hope there is more soon.
| msremus119 chapter 2 . 9/4/2015
Holy schnikes! You know how to write and have all the details to truly pull readers in. Please continue writing in this vein. I LOVE IT!
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/1/2015
Honestly, i can cind no current problem. My only requests are that any harem-involvement is kept within a reasonable age range, say no more than 20 more or 20 less than Harry's age and that every harem girl is given good character development. If you were to break the 20/- age thing, I probably wouldn't mind much, as long as there was good reasoning. However, based on these last chapters, I have no cause to doubt your ability as an author, and I do not think that you would make this into a 'screw every attractive woman in sight and become powerful enough to destroy moldyshorts and dumbles without trying... At the same time.' kind of fic. So, in essence, just keep being as amazing as you are right now
| Bronze chapter 6 . 6/21/2015
You can clearly see one Albus too many names Dumbledore's hand in this! He never wants to tell anyone everything they should or need to know as he's afraid they won't do things his way. The whole bullshit about Bumblemore not killing is a lie that he spread. He may not kill with his own hand but he's perfectly willing to send others into a fight he knows they can't win nor survive. All for his Greater Good. The only trouble with that is IT'S THE GREATER GOOD FOR HIM PERSONALLY! Magical Britain is already living in the dark ages history wise. But Bumblemore wants to drag it even further back through time. The man's to be trusted as much as a live grenade without the pin or spoon and solidly glued to your hand. The sooner he's dead and buried in some far off and quickly forgotten place the better for the people of magical Britain.
| Bronze chapter 1 . 5/28/2015
While I don't know if this is a finished story or not it starts off interestingly enough. I find nothing at all surprising about your portrayal of Dumbledore as even in the books he was anything but good. Also by the way, this is my second attempt to read this. I somehow lost it. But now that I've found it again I intend to finish it.
| Hubler99 chapter 1 . 5/25/2015
OK LOVE YOUR STORY Did Harry get the soul fragment out of his head before he left and what about taking us thru the looking in the vaults and stuff more detail please I a lady we need details when it comes to these things lol :)
| thonez chapter 4 . 5/6/2015
good writing but Voldemort here is moron. He wants horcrux hidden. Not T.M.R. award, horcrux is here, as Dumbledore could notice it in previous 50 years.
| thonez chapter 1 . 5/6/2015
Good chapter except you have plot hole. Harry stunned Dumbledore and did nothing. As its written Harry could tell that dark lord from prophecy is Dumbledore and kill him.