Reviews for H J Potter |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() Since he had O coming up. what is O |
![]() ![]() ![]() Bro said “shit might really hit the fan with me but i gotchu” |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was an AMAZING story! I can only hope that you will have more coming... |
![]() ![]() ![]() damn dumbles and his "mission and obligation or whatever, to fate" it was a cop out them and still is now. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Question: are you a native English speaker? Because your vocabulary is quite advanced but so far your writing is riddled with spelling errors and weird or illogical - or even totally wrong - sentence structures. Liken the note of this chapter; ‘their’ three times in one sentence, and ‘next the chapter’ for instance. Don’t get me wrong, so far I like the storyline and I’ve seen much worse, but this really could use a beta… |
![]() ![]() ![]() they spent ten years away from everyone else, their relationships with them wouldn't be the same they'd be distant memory, unless all they did in the house was talk about everyone else they'd forget a bunch of shit especially harry |
![]() ![]() ![]() hell no they've spend over a decade with eachother and never went past hugs and kisses? that's incredibly unrealistic, you wanted a timeskip before developing their relationship further and that's how you got this. nothing more nothing less |
![]() ![]() You used glazed instead of gaze in chapter 5. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow didn't read this one when it was being posted. Very exciting variation on canon. I enjoyed the main couples interactions as they make there way to a enduring relationship, especially since they were mere kids to be plunged into such overwhelming circumstances. I also appreciated watching Cedric become a better realized character in this story. Most just leave him a pretty face for the bad guy to whack. Sad. The author did the same for the other characters I favor which made the story more fun to read. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really hope that Daphne and Cedric don't end up together, not a fan of their characters being paired together. I don't care how good looking Daphne is supposed to be, 16 year old boys do not find 13 year old girls attractive. Unfortunately I can already tell that's the way the author is going with this, sigh. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like how you portrayed Dumbledore, he knows he is doing something wrong and feel really bad for it but in his point of view is a necessity. |
![]() ![]() ![]() yuck |
![]() ![]() Stupid motherfucker. All that memory shit served no purpose often than to force a rift in the allies corners. Writing IS hard and even in fantasy magical worlds, you need to explain, in depth, about how a character gets out of a dumbass corner that the writer put them into. But you didn't have that option after doing all this grandiose shit, sooo early in the story, did you? We learn to outline & draft our works before entering junior high. It was Cho? OMG! How did she do it? What was it? How does he get his own memories back? That type of stuff. But it will be glossed over, I guarantee you. This truly pisses me off more than anything when it comes to bad stories full of ceremony and pomposity. |
![]() ![]() Burn this shit |
![]() ![]() I gotta leave two flaming reviews. You fucking retard...so a magical whammy out of left field is going to be the reason the four families are alienated...because we know what's going to happen in the graveyard and shit. Then another magicsl whammy fix me memories up & more slice of life bullshit. I checked this because it was M rated. That doesn't always fall under the header of horny teenagers but there should be some heavy shit going on in the story as well as the smut. You've really fucked it in the head, for me, with this bullshit, out of nowhere, angsty diarrhea. And I was REALLY liking this story up until this stupidity. |