Reviews for A Family on Paper
Ariana-tan chapter 3 . 1/21/2012
Um, I'm hoping that when you say "a hundred nine" you mean 100.9. A temperature of 109 would be fatal...
inertia chapter 1 . 1/18/2011
You switched tenses.
Nova chapter 8 . 11/23/2010
An ice bath is never given to reduce temperature as it tricks the body into shivering which causes the body temp to rise rather than fall.
Ariana-tan chapter 1 . 10/13/2010
This is a good story, but in this chapter you sort of went from past-tense to present-tense back to past-tense. Was that intentional? Sorry, it was just a little confusing...
Andie chapter 18 . 5/14/2010
You really need to proofread better. The typos and grammatical error are so distracting. "The headache was back and his felt fuzzy with" his what felt fuzzy! It's typos and grammatical errors like that that make the story uninteresting and unreadable.
talk-ape chapter 18 . 12/10/2009
Really liked the dream sequence. With the 'mom' bit. Good to write something you know can't happen, but would like to see.
Bymaga Jones chapter 20 . 7/18/2009
I don't feel that all stories need to resolve everything, and I like your ending with the beginning of a meal. There were quite a few misspellings throughout the story (one of the most glaring was "Taylor" instead of "tailor" for the person altering the tuxedos) that could be fixed with spellcheck. This would keep the readers' minds from pulling out of the story. Because you wrote a good story, and because it's obvious that you put a lot of good work into it, you deserve to have it fully appreciated. I'd also suggest using a beta to read through your stories to help with this.
Bymaga Jones chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
I'm enjoying it so far except for the abrupt change in tense. The first section is written in past tense, then the second section in present, and then the last part is back in past tense. It's obvious that you've worked hard on this story; the tense inconsistency doesn't do this good story justice.
slimkay chapter 20 . 7/18/2009
You're saying it's season 1. I'm hoping for you that it's EARLY season 1 ! We've got a lot unresolved :)

But, back to business... seriously, this fic is was AWESOME. I'm not a man of few words, but you've left me speechless. When Ryan was sick, I was too. When he felt better, so did I.

Your writing was spot on, so was the characterization. Kirsten was so adorable ;)

I just hope this isn't your last Cohen1 fic because you truly know how to write them.

Whatever you do next, I'll be there to read it!

Congrats!
96.tyler chapter 20 . 7/17/2009
OMG! UR ENDING IT! OH NO! i was in love with this story! like seriously i wanted to marry it...well maybe not, lol but it was so good! kirsten and ryan were just so cute! he deserves a good family! and he got one!

well anyway i adored this story! so very cute, please think about writting some more stories where ryan bonds as a family they are my fav! :D

xoxoxoxox
charlie-becks chapter 20 . 7/16/2009
snaps for you :D sorry jus finished watchin legally blonde lol i love this story, an u ended it really well, so well done :)
TheChic chapter 20 . 7/15/2009
I'm satisfied with where you ended. But you are so bad to include the foreshadowing!
fifimom chapter 20 . 7/15/2009
Nice ending. Thank you.
jonsmom14 chapter 20 . 7/15/2009
great story, I love mama kirsten
benlust chapter 20 . 7/15/2009
I liked this chapter, must admit the fact that it ended here surprised me (hadn't noticed it said complete). So I am sad it's over, but after reading this chapter again, I do think it was a worthy finish. BUT that said, I would be really happy if you decided to do a sequel at some point in the near future...come on...Ryan's temp is back up a bit...
144 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »