|Reviews for Out Tonight|
| Silvermoon10123 chapter 2 . 8/20/2013
Ha! Gotta luv Two-Bit! :D
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/11/2012
you almost killed me i was eating some ice and i read the last line and almost choke
| leira123 chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
This made me laugh:)
| Believe In Something Bigger chapter 2 . 5/31/2011
HAHAHAHAH! This was hilarious! Two-Bit was great!
| luverofjamesandlily chapter 2 . 5/9/2011
I loved this! It's exactly how that would go! It was so cute!
| White Lion 18 chapter 2 . 1/3/2011
I like Patricia,she just seems kinda shy though.
| GoneGoneGoneGoneeeeeee chapter 2 . 7/28/2010
Oh Two-Bit, you never cease to amuse me! XD His last line was probably the best thing in the whole story, I swear. I love Patricia! She's so cute and her and Ponyboy just make me go 'Aww!' I loved this and hope you have or will use her in other stories :)
| some blue december chapter 2 . 6/12/2010
As he waited for it to open, he genuinely considered making a run for it. - Awww, I love the idea of Pony and girls. He's such a sweetheart, and I love the idea of him growing up and maturing, lol.
"Hi. Sorry, I'm just…I think I recognize you from somewhere." - It's 'cause he looks like Soda, isn't it? I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think Pony ends up with the best of both Soda and Darry. He's a lucky guy ... or maybe the girls who date him are the lucky ones, lol.
He sputtered in surprise, "Darry?" - Love, love, love. Even I said Soda, but I love so much that's it's Darry. He deserves a nice girl.
he just hadn't taken awkwardness into account when he'd thought through the many things that could go wrong. He really should've. - Oh yes, awkwardness. That bitch.
and she wanted to get a dog for the sole reason that she could name it Lassie after the movie dog. - I want a gigner kitten simply so I can call it Crookshanks. No lie.
Ponyboy moved his hand towards the back of his collar and frowned as he realized that he'd just been pelted with a handful of popcorn. Rolling his eyes as he heard snickering coming from behind him, he spun around and audibly gasped. - I frickin' love this kid. And I love those guys (duh). What I love the most, is how in-character you make everyone. Not many people write them all so well and in a way that reads so easily.
Behind him, he heard Steve hiss, "You dumbass. You're not s'posed to hit her." - Love.
"I was aimin' for the kid's big head—don't know how I missed."
Steve snorted. "You drunk?" He swore as that incited a good-natured slap upside the head from Two-Bit.
"Pipe down over there," someone nearby commanded as a small scuffle between them broke out. - Again, the banter. You write this really well, and you write Steve and Two-Bit really well. There's not many who write these two in a way I like them, but you do. Things between them just seem so easy and casual and it reminds me of scenes in Born, lol.
"See, I told you, Stevie. I'm just as famous with the broads as Sodapop is." - Love the comment, and love the use of "Stevie".
"Sounds like Two-Bit," - Period, not a comma.
"It's Elizabeth Taylor," she corrected. - I can see this girl being easily welcomed by the gang just because of this comment. I always pictured Two-Bit as someone who respected a chick who could stant up to him and put him in his place when he was being a little too crazy - half the reason I love he and Kathy, lol. Anyway, that's how I see Two-Bit, and I see the rest of the guys respecting anyone who can tell Two-Bit he's wrong, lol.
Two-Bit's voice rang out behind them. "Bet you're a lot better than that pillow he's been practicin' on every night." - Perfect end note. Like, seriously perfect.
I also wanted to mention how much I enjoyed your portrayal of Patricia. We learned a lot about her from a few sentences, yet at the same time didn't learn much. I like it when we learn vague things about characters, and you did that really well. You wrote this whole thing really well and you should get your ass into gear and write more. Like, now.
| some blue december chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
Soda looked at his brother, biting back a laugh. "They would've found out sometime. From what I hear, there's an awful lot of talk since every girl in Tulsa's jealous of little Miss…"
"Moore," Pony finished, turning slightly pink. "Her name's Patricia Moore." - I like Soda's claim that every girl in Tulsa is jealous, lol, and I love Pony blushing as he says his girl's name. Totally cute.
"So, you're living up to the family Curtis name, huh?" - I think this would work better as "family name" or "Curtis name". You don't need both and having both seems a bit much.
The words came out of Ponyboy's mouth before he had the chance to stop them. "What if I say the wrong thing?" - Aw, that's adorable.
He was interrupted as the front door swung open to reveal an almost giddy looking Two-Bit, who was animatedly talking to Steve. "…And then these two chicks were fighting over the shampoo. Boy I can't tell you how happy I was to—" - Hahaha! I haven't read you fic with Mel, but I feel like this might be your cameo ;)
Following a wolf whistle that earned him a dirty look, Two-Bit said, "Well ain't you lookin' spiffy tonight?" - You should have this on a new line. At first it seems like Steve's the one giving out the wolf whistle.
"Smells like cologne," Steve commented, smirking at Ponyboy's horrified expression. "Two-Bit, the kid's wearing cologne." - I especially love that last bit of dialogue, lol. So perfect.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this in my other review or not, but I love your Steve/Two-Bit banter. I've always seen them as having a really good friendship, so it makes me happy to see iit in fics other than my own, lol.
"Hey, Steve, you doing anythin' tonight?" - Love, love, love the idea of Steve and Two-Bit going to pick on Pony, lol. I mean, I love the kid, I really do ... but I love Steve and Two-Bit more :P
Anyway, this was great. You have a way with humour and I appreciate someone who can write it. Especially Two-Bit. Everyone always says they're sick of reading funny!Two-Bit, but I have a habit of taking him too seriously, so it's nice to read him being his usual cheerful self, lol. Awesome job. I might even get to chapter two tonight :)
| BelleBailey chapter 2 . 3/4/2010
great story. Loved two-bit at the end when pony and Patrica kissed. so funny. loved it
| we were here chapter 2 . 1/24/2010
Hahaa, I loved this. It was short &sweet. :)
Can't wait to check out more of your fics!
| infinite grey chapter 1 . 1/5/2010
At first I didn't think I would like it - but you definitely change my mind at the first sentence. :-) I think I got the brownie points...not sure, but I'm going to give the brownie points to me anyways. :D I really like this! Haha, I didn't even notice there was a chapter two, how 'bout that, huh? Guess I'll go review that now. [:
| dadssweetpea chapter 2 . 9/19/2009
Omg update i love this soo awesome and funny
| Secret Storywriter chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
I'm reviewing as I read the story, since I've already read it, so it may sound a bit weird or choppy.
Great call on the recognizing Ponyboy from the newspaper thing that Ponyboy worried about. I thought that it was clever!
You wrote: “Jan? I said I was gonna get it.” with the emphasis on the "said". I think that the emphasis would've sounded better on the second "I", but whatever - everyone pictures it differently in their mind. It just really stuck out to me for some reason, and I just don't know why, but I had to mention it.
"'Guess it must run in the family…' He supposed his eyes weren’t so bad after all." - aww - loved that part! I like how you refered to a point made in the book.
Aww - Pony sat closer to the screen for her! Such a gentleman.
"Two-Bit looked up at the screen, frowning. 'Oh.'" - I just think that it was an odd way to end that section, but to tell you the truth, I can't think of a better way to end it.
Two-bit and Steve gave him a hard time, exactly the way I had imagined it.
Cute ending! Absolutely Two-bit-like!
I thought that you did a really good job writing a sequel to Mr. dating Machine! Cope to see you write more Outsiders works - hope I helped!
| Secret Storywriter chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
I think Ponyboy's jerkiness was really realistic and it was funny to see him prepare to go out on his first date with little Miss Moore. D
Loved the ending to this chapter! hehe
A couple things:
~"You know, you better say sorry or Steve’s gonna start crying,” Ok, well I get what you were trying to do with this and you were trying to make the mock argument, but I just didn't feel like it fit.
~"Ponyboy felt a wave of triumph and relief wash over him as his friends became so focused on their conversation that they entirely forgot that he was there."
(1) triumph? I wouldn't imagine that that was what he was feeling, exactly... The word doesn't fit.
(2) I'm surprised Pony didn't have the smarts to sneak out while the idiots mock debated.
(3) I see what you are trying to say, but the wording just doesn't fit. A "wave" of whatever emotion, shows that it is a flooding, maybe intense emotion and it just doesn't seem so...formal? If you know what I mean? You have a really clear-cut, sophisticated way of writing almost. Using a combination of sentence and paragraph starters while picking out perfect adjectives and emotions to complete the "ensemble" type of thing. You don't have to make it so structured, for lack of a better word.
For example, you wrote: "his friends became so focused on their conversation that they entirely forgot that he was there". I can admit that I don't know the exact words to make it btter, but I can give you a suggestion. What you've wrote right now is very sophisticated in a way, when what you are trying to get across is some comic relief, correct?
I hope you kinda get what I'm saying. PM me! It'll make me feel less hopeless when trying to review.
Oh yeah! I almost forgot - I really loved the cologne/perfume/deodorant bit!
Sorry I hadn't reviewed this story right away...