|Reviews for Chaos is My Middle Name|
| red-eyedgal chapter 8 . 6/19/2009
aw, poor Hailey.
| x.savvybizbie.x chapter 8 . 6/19/2009
That was such a great chapter! I don't blame Hailey for losing it, though. For some reason, I loved it when the Joker said 'that's who I am, Hail. get used to it'. Don't know why, I just thought it was such a great line. Please update soon!
| lordlink13 chapter 7 . 6/16/2009
darn, that's epic. Joker's not very happy. and Tom was in the chapter. Geez, you lightened my mood so much today! i've been freakin' out about the end of my school year and all, and this...wow, I'm amazed. hope you don't have difficulty with the next chapter
| x.savvybizbie.x chapter 7 . 6/16/2009
Exciting, exciting! Please update soon, I need to know what happens next!
| Lasgalendil chapter 1 . 6/16/2009
Stories can start in a few ways. There's the typical start from the beginning...there's the start from the kind of beginning, explaining stuff as we go so we don't have the protagonists in diapers when they're already adults and establishing relationships through flashback or just mentioning things...there's the start in the middle of all the action and what the heck is going on this is so suspenseful I have no clue but it's awesome sort of approach as well.
Unfortunately, the last approach works best (and sometimes only) with action or suspense genres. You've began in all the chaos, but it is relational, not physical. I honestly think it's information overload trying to process this chapter. Would a better beginning point perhaps be Tom bringing her the flowers as she watches her brother on TV, thinking of how unhappy her life is now...and not telling us her husband is the Joker until the end of the chapter? Tom leaves, the door swings back open and suprise! It's the Joker?
I almost think this would be a better entry into this story as Hailey/Tom seems to be the direction this fic will be taking. This would give you an opportunity to establish their characters, hint at their mutual (or not so mutual) interest, and build up the drama of her terrible husband, her estranged relationship with her brother Harvey, etc. Good stories are about good characters. And while yours here are in no ways bad, we don't see enough of them in this first chapter to really bond with them or empathize (come on, she's just now leaving the Joker? Either she's a Mary Sue, stupid...or there's a whole life of love they shared before he turned bad that she believes truly still does exist and she stays because she does love the man that he was and is convinced she can help bring him back-especially because she feels guilty for finding those same qualities she used to admire in him now in her friend Tom-for instance, bringing her flowers) with them or their situations.
A point of confusion for me was when is this taking place? It seems like a pre-TDK piece...but how much previously? Could the program she is watching possibly be the outcome of the DA elections? A few 'I believe in Harvey Dent's' might go a long way in tying us firmly to the Batman Universe, as well as giving you a starting point for talking about her relationship with her brother, even giving him a congratulatory phone call...or explain the reason for their estrangement if she doesn't.
A good story without a good first chapter might not be read all the way through. I think you've got a great premise here, but some revisions might help you jumpstart it faster, draw your readers in, and encourage them to read on. You have a unique premise-and the potential for very strong character. But I would love to see you develop them more here at the onset. The first chapter is always the hardest...but it's the most crucial!
Best of luck!
| aurevoirshosanna chapter 7 . 6/16/2009
| As-Long-As-I'm-Around chapter 7 . 6/16/2009
How could you stop there? That is just cruel! Great chapter. Please update asap!
| KrazyForYourLuv chapter 7 . 6/15/2009
No! Tom! But I also feel really bad for hailey. Plz update soon!
| CarvedKid chapter 7 . 6/15/2009
Oh, the suspence! *shivers*
I loved how you combined Hailey and Tom into the scene. I hope Tom doesn't die. *bites nails nervously*. Great job. Keep it up! :)
| red-eyedgal chapter 7 . 6/15/2009
*gasp* he's gonna kill Tom?
| As-Long-As-I'm-Around chapter 6 . 6/13/2009
Wow. :) Awesome awesome story. I love it!
Please update ASAP.
| lordlink13 chapter 6 . 6/12/2009
i can see how that might be a problem, coming about the idea for the fundraiser scene. i think Tom should come in, but then, that's me. i'm trying to think of something you could do. technically, you have a time to create whatever after the point that Batman jumps out the window after Rachel so maybe if you just went along with the movie until then...then have Tom appear or something and bring about this thing of Joker threatening to hurt Hailey and he fights Tom...just an idea
| Shmelly chapter 6 . 6/10/2009
XO Crapness of my computer! I haven't been able to check my inbox for ages so when I looked it was FULL so yes... Lots of updates, awesomeness. XD
Um just one thing - I noticed a few spellings mistakes; just a few letters missing, that kind of thing... You know. Just in case you felt like re-reading and fixing the bloopers? :/
Anyway, this is coolbeans! Just be careful that you don't end up basically rewriting the fundraiser scene as it was in the film.
| aurevoirshosanna chapter 6 . 6/10/2009
I have to say that I don't really enjoy reading sexual content.. but this was very good. (:
I loved the end... middle and beginning. Great story so far. (:
keep writing! :D
| red-eyedgal chapter 6 . 6/9/2009
Tom should totally be in there, I think.