Reviews for A Fire Within
Asterisk78 chapter 23 . 6/26/2009
As usual, amazing. You're doing great, and I can't wait to see your wrap-up. Keep up the awesome work!

Asterisk78 chapter 22 . 6/25/2009
You really do have an ear for action, and this has been an amazing 21 chapters since I last reviewed (Yay for procrastinators!) I really love how you've explained the background for your universe. Also, I really appreciate how you've written without pulling punches. Awesome job on the last 21, and I look forward to your next installment.

Rishtalak chapter 20 . 6/23/2009
Kill it! Kill it NOW! Damn you Zap, but vengeance swiftly comes...
Fyrefly chapter 20 . 6/22/2009
Great installment-very emotionally-charged and moving. You're a great writer and I loved these new chapters!
Rishtalak chapter 18 . 6/20/2009
Well, Snake-Eyes is just going to have to get used to the reality that is caring for another human being who puts themselves in dangerous situations. Imagine who Shana would feel though, being forced to stand on the side-lines. The phrase "Turnabout is fair play" comes to mind.

So, we begin to see some inkling of what Shana has the potential to become. Will she end up joining the ranks alongside Snake-Eyes? It'd be hard for someone to go back to a civilian life after this. I eagerly await the next chapter.
Rishtalak chapter 11 . 6/20/2009
And our heroes meet once more after a decade! What will happen next?
Rishtalak chapter 9 . 6/20/2009
Ooh, perhaps the money information the team is looking for is connected to that red-headed mother from so many years ago? The plot thickens, and I can't wait to see what happens next. Luckily, I don't have to! On to the next chapter!
Fyrefly chapter 18 . 6/19/2009
This is a wonderful fic, by the by. I've been lurking for a while. I think the relationship progression is very natural and realistic, and very well-written (not always easy to find on !). The narrative voice is balanced, and somehow you manage to pull off a great "dialogue," in spite of the obvious complications. :)

Great job!
Fostersb chapter 12 . 6/13/2009
I am getting into this story, and the way you are fleshing out Snake's character. Quick question- how old is he supposed to be if Shana is 19?
Lioness Of the fire chapter 12 . 6/12/2009
O gasp nnoo a traitor no o dear it shana that he saved wowo what a good twist cant wait to see how they mangage that , by the way how old are they ?
Lioness Of the fire chapter 10 . 6/9/2009
? same as last chapter
Lioness Of the fire chapter 9 . 6/9/2009
o love the fast up date really good polt thinking ohh i am getting giddy
Fostersb chapter 7 . 6/6/2009
Awesome chapter, I just really felt the pain and the thanks that the little girl had. Funny how she had red hair just like Snake Eyes' usual beloved. Update soon!
Lioness Of the fire chapter 3 . 6/3/2009
OO exciteing love how crisp u wirte out every thing
Asterisk78 chapter 1 . 6/2/2009
Ooh, a Snake Eyes story! I liked it, especially your clear-headed prose...very nice job. I especially liked how you wove the older Vietnam continuity into the current conflicts in the Middle East. It makes the story seem more authentic, at least to me.

My only qualm is that your voice occasionally seemed a little stilted; specifically, in places that you used a period and I think an ellipsis might have been more appropriate. Also, I would suggest removing the "Chapter Two" marker. I think a line or another chapter might be more appropriate. But aside from this, you've done a lovely job, and I really look forward to the next installment.

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