Reviews for Distant Thunder
Dragonjek chapter 2 . 10/24/2018
I really want to see Tsuruko appear soon. Even if Motoko's willing to dismiss the criticism of the other girls, she desperately wants Tsuruko's approval and affection. I want to see what Motoko will do about what she's done to Keitaro-and I REALLY want to see Tsuruko react to learning about the extensive would-have-killed-a-not-immortal-person abuse she's been putting him through... the exact type of thing she wanted to prevent by putting her in an all-girl house.

Hm... Sadistic Personality Disorder, Enforcing subtype? "Hostility sublimated in the 'public interest',... possesses the "right" to be pitiless, merciless, coarse, and barbarous; task is to control and punish, to search out rule breakers." [Wikipedia]. She doesn't really show any OCPD-like behaviors which are common to the enforcing subtype... but she does have a distinct desire for order over disorder, and the strict life of a devoted kendoka of a traditional family would provide ample opportunities to express that sort of behavior.

It is neat to see how much calmer Naru is when Motoko goes so much further than she would. When compared to Motoko's extreme behavior and with him being so pitiable under her attacks, she's really toned down into a much nicer character.

I'm really curious as to how a romance can form out of this. Well, I can easily see a Naru/Keitaro, but with Motoko being the driving character here and the center of the story description, I'm leaning more towards it somehow becoming Motoko/Keitaro. He obviously doesn't _enjoy_ the abuse, so there doesn't look to be any chance of this becoming a sadist/masochist match made in heaven. But his personality (especially here) is so perfectly suited towards the type of person who will stick around in an abusive relationship and claim that things will work out.

I really want to see how Motoko will change, and what sort of action could prompt such a thing. I'm GUESSING that Tsuruko is going to outright strip Motoko of her right to wield a sword, and hopefully be sane enough not to demand she marry Keitaro this time.
Johnsmitish chapter 2 . 2/12/2018
I get that it's been a decade since you've probably ever thought about this story, and it's been like half a dozen years since you've updated any of your fics, so I'm almost certain that you won't see this. But I'm still gonna write this in hopes that you see it.

This story is very strange. It feels like you wanted to write a story portraying an abusive relationship from start to finish, but never got that far. It had an interesting start, showing how fucked up Motoko is and how much of a pushover Keitaro is, and what their relationship would inevitably progress into, but since the story was never continued, all we have is Motoko beating the shit out of men and Keitaro taking all this abuse, with no end in sight, no remorse from Motoko and no defiance or denial from Keitaro, and it's just off. What I'm saying is, since you stopped after two chapters, it just feels like you wrote Motoko beating the shit out of people with no point.

Anyway, hopefully you'll eventually come back to this story, but I'm not going to anticipate it.
Guest chapter 2 . 12/26/2017
Okay. I know where this is going and I don't like it. I've been on both sides of this kind of relationship and this will not work or end well but for two reasons. Lack of honesty, both with themselves and each other and lack of trust. This is a caricature of what it is you're attempting to depict and a poor one at that. Maybe that's intentional on your part but quite frankly the scene gets enough undue, uninformed criticism as it is and this isn't helping or doing it justice. If you ever pick this up again, I suggest a revamp of the story at large. Highschool of the Dead played up the angle you're working better than this.
Quis Custodiet chapter 2 . 8/23/2017
I doubt you'd really respond to this given how old this story is (but who knows, I respond to things I wrote 10 years ago). Anyway, I was hoping you'd drop me a line and give me an idea of where you thought you were going with this story.

I find it interesting in the fact that it's quite singular so far in premise and I'm curious as to what you were thinking when writing it.

Guest chapter 2 . 7/27/2016
Really interesting. I rather that, with all the changes, that maybe he didn't get as caught up in the idea of Naru being the promise girl, and thus not so rattled. That is, since you amped a negative, balance it with him getting in (and Naru didn't). Make broader changes.

But overall, enjoyable.
BloodTrinity chapter 2 . 3/8/2014
Well... Motoko... Is a friggin Sadist and this story needs to be revived man!
Don't just let it die
ChronoTriggerMan chapter 2 . 6/16/2013
Not sure if you're just making Motoko to be a jerk, or if this is a dark retelling of the story. But either way, it's very good. Well written, and I like how the cast is just a bit OOC. Please update soon.
Kataphraktos chapter 2 . 12/21/2012
If you wrote this with a similar spirit to "Blizzard", I can understand why you hit a wall. But I prefer this premise over Shinobu's crazy mother.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
You really need to continue on this I really want to see where it leads lol like have seta trian keitaro early and kick Motoko butt our something make her even more obsessed with dominating him
Engelmohr2004 chapter 2 . 6/30/2012
You really need to continue this love how much of sadist Mokoto is in this shes totally going to be the dom in any relationship she gets in
Edylis chapter 2 . 11/25/2011

I didn't want to get into a dead fic, even one of yours, but this was great. As short as it was, that is.

You're a champ.

Keep it up.

Sinewyk chapter 1 . 6/4/2011
I'm sorry, but a girl abusing a guy is as low as a guy abusing a girl. Right now I really want to trash Mokoto ... like REALLY.

If you wanted to make us nearly hate Mokoto, it's a win. I want to slip in her chambers at night and slit her throat and watch her die while clutching her throat while saying "That's what you get for trashing me you bitch". That's how I want to pay back the bitch.

And I actually wanted in the manga a Motoko/Keitaro pairing. To make me hate her so much, you sir, get a cookie.

See ya
sweet magic gal chapter 2 . 5/25/2011
nice, i'm liking this fic. I just wish that you would update soon. Wow, different to see sadist Motoko. Keep it up! chapter 2 . 11/21/2010
...awww, Keitaro... chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
yay, you'd better continue this!
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