|Reviews for Distant Thunder|
| NAJ P. Jackson chapter 2 . 4/27/2010
It this gonna be a Keitaro/Motoko? Coz I'm having a hard time imagining how they could end up together when your portrayal of Motoko is something like this :/
| JWM chapter 2 . 8/25/2009
Another good chapter, but I have to say that I would find Keitaro more believable if a reason was given for willingness to put up with Motoko. Possibly something like 'getting a thrill' or 'secretly believing she was right'. Lastly, is this going to be lemon or just Mature?
| Cleric of Nayru chapter 2 . 8/21/2009
Interesting... I can't seem to peg where this story is headed, which is usual for your style. You're very good.
Motoko is a bit more vindictive (not sure if that's the right word, maybe I mean merciless) toward Keitaro than I originally expected. I'm very curious as to where it will lead.
| glAssbOy chapter 2 . 8/20/2009
Quite some time for an update, oh well.
Guess I was beaten to the punch by the earlier reviewers. I must say that you turned Motoko's violence level to 11, while toning down, if not, completely removing Naru's signature response. Also, Kitsune seems to be a little less playful and scheming. Understandable, given Motoko's response.
Christ, was it me? Or did I just detect some sort of satisfaction, that may even border to the sexual, concerning this line : Motoko blushed, an image of Keitaro huddled on the floor, trying to protect himself with his hands fading into the ether. “Sorry, just day dreaming…”
And this : “You may have accepted him, but I haven’t.” Motoko calmly resumed eating, the disapproving looks of her fellow residents not fazing her in the least. She smiled inwardly as she remembered the way Keitaro had wilted at her litany of insults before he’d left the table.
The way you wrote her spelled sadism all over and in capital letters. One hell of a red flag. Looks like this is becoming too long. Well, keep us on our toes and our fingers on the refresh button.
| anon chapter 2 . 8/20/2009
| DarkMasterStarr chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
Interesting start. You don't usually see "GOOD WRITTEN Motoko-is-evil" fics. And when I mean "Evil", it IS evil. That sadism is just dark and in a bizarre way, quaint and interesting. I think it would be that she likes him, at least in a since, since you say it's Drama/Romance. More like angst and romance, maybe even a tragedy. Keitaro is much in character, Motoko seems the same way, albeit more brutal and unforgiving. Naru is the only one out-of-character, which strangely balances it, the story, out.
Great job so far. Like most of your Love Hina stories, this one got a great dark over-tone.
| rincewind1990 chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
another good chapter keep it up and update soon
| Alamandorious chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
Decided to have a look at this fic, and I'm pleased to say I wasn't disappointed. The only thing is is that I keep picturing Motoko as a dominatrix now lol.
Keep up the good work!
| Marzan chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
This story has really surprised me since Motoko is very different than in your other stories. It's also curious to see that Naru is given a completely different treatment.
Oh, and I don't know if you intended to make it so, but "did Buffalo win the super bowl"LOL!
| Demon King Piccolo chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
I'm really, really liking this story.
Let me try to offer some constructive comments. The reason I'm liking this story so much is perhaps due to the personality of both Keitaro and Motoko plus the premise of the story.
First, the personalities. One thing I've noticed in most Love Hina stories is that people tend to give Keitaro an 'extreme' personality. Whether it's being too nice (most common), being too angry, being too confused, and etc, it's always some type of extreme personality.
Your portrayed Keitaro in a more human way. Yes, he has a bit of a self-depreciating personality, but he has some esteem as we've seen him defend himself a few times. So in other words, somewhat depressed, but otherwise pretty normal.
Regarding Motoko, you did give her a very extreme personality (cruelty, of course), but I suspect it is related to the story and it seems to be the driving force in the story, so it is not only entirely forgivable, but it is actually commendable. Aside from that, I don't often see the girls with extreme personalities (with the exception of Naru), so this is kind of unique.
Now then, regarding the premise of the story, it is interesting enough. You've presented a conundrum, Motoko's ultra violent hostility, and you sort of left us wondering what is the source of it. Now, it seems a bit too virulent to be normal, and she seems to derive too much pleasure from it and it seems to be exclusive to men, so I'm going to go ahead and take a guess that Motoko is into sexual sadism? :D
Whichever it is, I hope to see another chapter from you soon because I am really interested in this story!
| Wonderbee31 chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
Intense to say the least here, and something to see a Motoko with a lot of limitations off her, as she's the combined worst of both her and Naru it seems to me. I have to really wonder, how long and far will the abuse go before something goes horribly wrong, given how much of a milqetoast Keitaro is here, and what may the consequences be for the others who stood around and basically let it go on? Can't wait to read and find out.
| Stephen Adezio chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
This is good. Creepy, but good. I guess I'm just used to seeing Naru as the petulant bi*, and Motoko with some semblance of character development, not the other way around. I was thinking, "So this is what happens when you merge every bad quality of Motoko and Naru and give it to one of them".
| Starfire99 chapter 2 . 8/18/2009
The story is interesting so far, but the updates need to be sped up a bit. Most authors can release a chapter of this average length at least once a month. That's what you should be aiming for.
| Demon King Piccolo chapter 1 . 7/19/2009
I really, really enjoyed this story and I am interested in wheer you plan to take it. Please continue!
| sangkun chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
The idea with Motoko going too far and showing that she might have problems is really good idea. You can go many ways with it can turn into angsty story or humorois while solving her problems. Cant wait to know how it is going to turn out!