Reviews for All In the Mind
guardsman101 chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
Krivoklatsko chapter 2 . 11/11/2009
I'm loving this. It seems like she skips some things though. There are a lot of observations she doesn't include about smells and comfort and sounds. Personality maybe? Maybe.

Keep going!
RosterRoster chapter 1 . 6/25/2009
Basically what everyone else said, super casual and personal talking. It's cool to be able to listen to what a psyker is thinking, grats on the idea. GREAT JOB. KEEP THE UPDATES/CHAPTERS COMING!
Thorn In Your Side chapter 2 . 6/12/2009
Yes, we’re the special unit, and they don’t call us that because we need help eating.




Dude. You write pretty well, but your first person POV somehow outstrips everything else (with the possible exception of Red Dawn but I'm just biased towards the plot that way) in a breathtaking way. Your prose is just so much more flowy and easy and fun. You have a good tone with this...although, I gotta say? The first chapter sounded a lot different from the second chapter. The first chapter she sounded matter of factish and stiff, now she's like...loose and happy.

Watch that, but otherwise?


Thorn In Your Side chapter 1 . 6/12/2009
Yeah, I’m told I have a dirty mouth. Ohwell. Why do I care?

Not much of a dirty mouth.


Your first person POV is way impressive.
Lord Magos Jadinar chapter 2 . 6/6/2009
Good chapter once again. this story sorta reminds of Micheal Shaara's books, which were really great. The style is what reminds me of his books, chaotic yet controlled, pretty cool. A few questions though, the Commisar left? I could understand if he was afraid but wouldnt come back later with more help? Just wondering cause i dont understand that bit. Still all in all great chapter.
Lord Magos Jadinar chapter 1 . 6/4/2009
Has potential, more updates will decide my opinion. Is defitnatley orignial, not many stories about Imperial psykers. I am awating more.
Ghurlag chapter 1 . 6/4/2009
Tora and Torii

Rayne and Lanes


Your style is quite good - what i like to call 'the babble' you get from very actively-minded characters. Personal and slightly disorganised.

Plot i can't evaluate from this sample, but it looks promising for the future.