|Reviews for The Paladin's Wrath|
| Thazienne chapter 1 . 6/7/2009
What a wonderful continuous. I can assuredly say that I am a Milla fan now. Anyone that spends any amount of time in a Temple of Cyric for any amount of time during their developmental years is bound to have some issues... I wonder if Milla inability to have fun and let herself have some fun is due to that. (You don't need to answer that for me, by the way.) One of my favorite parts of this chapter is the description of the lights in the catacombs... I could honestly envision the scene because of that. I am glad that everyone wasn't turned (mostly because Ky would have to be an extremely powerful cleric to pull that off) and the more well constructed characters in a story, the better. Of course I would have probably put the person Milla would have liked least to be the only person to aid her... but I'm just vindictive in that way.
Reading this remind me so much of The Chaos Curse (one of the few books I enjoy by RAS) which inspired me to delve head first into divine casters and magic.
And speaking of spells, you were probably wonder about the spell that made Ky seem so real... and honestly if you hadn't mentioned it in the intro I wouldn't have found this flaw in your story. The only spell that I could see doing this is Project Image (a standard spell in the dnd player's handbook) that Ky could have access to as a Cleric of Cyric at level 13 as a 7th level illusion domain spell(on a side note I would personally see him taking Illusion and Trickery as domains... but I'll try to stop building him in my mental character sheet now). The issues are first... duration would be limited to 1 round/level... meaning he couldn't cast it and then take off... mostly because secondly the caster has to keep a line of sight. Of course he could have cast Sanctuary, Invisibility or Greater versions of either and then just hide. But that would make me question why he would use the illusion to attack Milla since he could cast spells through it? Another option would be Persistent Image (Illusion lvl 5) and either throw his voice somehow (Ventriloquism is only an arcane spell I think) or use one of those hiding spells mentioned beforehand... which would make more sense because his image couldn't attack them and he probably wouldn't want to fight a pally and a cleric of the same faith in the temple of their deity... no matter how much they desecrated it.
Sorry for rambling so much... there were a few things I was confused by like Annaliel having the mobility of a fighter from having her robe slitted... typically fighter aren't very mobile. The stereotypical fighter is a metal clad wrecking machine designed to take damage but deal out more.
The only other thing I would suggest on is trying to give more visual representation of what characters are saying. When Anna asked "Where should we go?" Does she look nervous... if so what does she do when she is nervous(or feeling whatever she is feeling)?
| Misplaced Soul chapter 1 . 6/7/2009
Hm... betrayal very powerful motivation to get the bastard..
Apart from Thorm's will of course.
It was a pleasure reading it, I mean how you lead the plot. I really enjoyed it. And to be honest, my types for Milla's deities were Thorm, Tyr or Helm. So I was quite close :D Do I get a candy? A chocolate chip cookie?
PS. My characters harass me too... After this "rouge" affair, Nessa wouldn't talk to me for days... : I'm with you...
| OceanFae chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
DEAR GOD, YOU ARE BRILLIANT! Very good.