|Reviews for Presence of Blue Malice|
| Merciless Angels chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
Much better! I was lazily scrolling down the Shadow Hearts section, hoping for something new or updated to turn up (alas it didn't :'( ) and the I saw that you updated this. And I must say I'm glad I did! You kept the lovely work of the first chapter and eased it into the rest of the story, unlike the last time where you jumped a gap and left readers dazed and confused as to what was going on. So this is a great improvement and keep it up! Can't wait for the next chapter! :D
Merciless Angels Never Cry.
| Merciless Angels Never Cry chapter 2 . 5/18/2012
I'm...confused. To say the least. I read this a few years ago and thought the same thing but once I saw this updated I decided to give it a go and I must say that I am now thoroughly more confused than before.
The formatting in the second chapter is different from the first, making it a tad bit difficlt to read the text. The writing in the first chapter was brilliant; I loved the descriptions up to when things got weird. But the second chapter lacked compared to the first. It was patchy and seemed to just jump from one thing to the next; could've been more fluid.
What is the significance of blueberries...? It doesn't make sense. I don't mind fetishes, whatever tickles your pickle, but even in this chapter there was no explaination at all for it or development for that matter.
It also helps for readers to have a good sense of place when reading, you only just gave a very vague idea. Being more specific of timeline.
Lastly, how come Maya and Simone (two insignificant and nerve-grating characters) seemed to be the main focus of the story...? It just doesn't make sense, its all over the place.
| bufudyne chapter 1 . 3/12/2010
Whoa, that was really weird. I'm still sort of wondering what I just read! Haha anyway, your writing is pretty good. You should write more Shadow Hearts! :)
Just wondering, and I hope you don't mind me asking, is this fetish-related material?
| crazykitsune17 chapter 1 . 12/20/2009
I am so baffled as to what... er rather... why... this happened. What the hell? Was this some sort of sick plotbunny that just wouldn't die? Why a blueberry...? ... I'm so confused!
On the upside, it was well-written. Just... wtf.