|Reviews for Dr Jekyll and Mr Hale|
| Lots n non all chapter 5 . 2/25/2013
| lorie chapter 1 . 7/5/2010
what happened to jekyll when he became mr. hyde
| LyricsArePoetry chapter 5 . 11/12/2009
Writer's block is evil! Good luck working your way through it! This is so fantastically written! Can't wait for more!
| theorganizedmess chapter 4 . 8/21/2009
Hey love! It's your roommate. I'm finally reviewing on this format instead of the trial run you put on facebook. I still like it and I'm looking forward to the next update, which I know is coming soon since you locked yourself away in your room for several hours working on it. P Keep up the good work, ma dear.
| NightAssassin chapter 4 . 7/31/2009
Holy crap! Carew died anyways? WTH is going on?
Alright, you've adequately hooked my interest. I'll follow along for a few more chapters, but I demand some sort of explanation soon...
| NightAssassin chapter 2 . 6/14/2009
One of the first things that struck me when I first clicked into this story was your writing style. It’s a bit unusual for a fanfiction to so closely mirror the original story’s style of writing. It’s a nice change from the other stories, which are mostly based off of the musical, movie, or are completely out of character.
You seem to be very closely following the storyline in the original book. If you were planning on doing this from beginning to end, may I make a suggestion? Don’t do that. Virtually everyone who is reading your fanfiction has already read Jekyll and Hyde. What you are doing seems to be exactly the same as the original, except that you’ve substituted one character for another. Don’t be afraid to get creative… branch out from the original story. Of course, I am only two chapters in. Perhaps you were already planning on doing this (if so, please disregard this and all comments regarding your plot). You have a really awesome premise, but you should probably get a plot that’s at least somewhat different than the original story.
Despite this, your new storyline appealed to me very much. I love how James Hale seems to make people hate him just as much as Edward Hyde did. I am, of course, assuming that Henry Jekyll and James Hale are the same person? It leads me to wonder, is Jekyll still the tortured remnants of his creation…perhaps a bit poorer now? Hm…
You consistently made a grammatical error that bugged me the entire time reading this: ending quotes. You should end a quote with a comma, unless it is an exclamation or question. For example:
“Jekyll did not tell you though,” he said patiently.
But you do not use a comma if the quote ends the sentence. Then, you use a period. For example:
“Good night sir, I am retiring for the evening.”
Other than that, your grammar looked good.
The last thing I can say about your story is that I would like to see a little more creativity and originality. I can see that you have the potential to do both, and would like to see something that is a little more your own.
Am I your first review? I think I am. Welcome to the community, and I apologize that you have to wade through this rather long review.