|Reviews for Of Sun And Moon|
| ZoeNightshade2214 chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
hm... not a bad begining. i like it so far. well update soon, i want to know what's going to happen.
| Zoe Nightshade chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
I love the idea, but the writing needs a little work.
I would also take out POVs. And, the grammar...I would get a beta-reader. Also, Asclepius is not a god. He was a mortal, demigod son of Apollo.
The writing: You should have a better introduction. What are the hunters doing here? It is very rare that the hunters need to stay at Camp Half-Blood. I would start, like this. By the way, I would not change POVs.
On the night of my sixteenth birthday, the day I had been granted the wish by the gods, (a little shaky, but you could straighten it out) I had thought that having every kid in camp be claimed would solve everything. You'd think so, right? Wrong. The newly claimed sons and daughters of Helios, god of the sun, claimed that their father was the rightful god of the sun and not Apollo, who only drove the sun across the sky...etc...