Reviews for The El Hazard of Haruhi Suzumiya
ralf07 chapter 20 . 4/6/2012
You didnt state that the story is complete so i asume the story is unfinishe. What a great story this is and i regret that i havent found it till today. Finish it in one day.

Great.
ralf07 chapter 14 . 4/6/2012
I dont really know what to comment about this chapter.

Call me weird but katsuhiko is one of my favourite character in el hazar more than makoto. So i'm glad you keep him alive. But that doesnt mean i hate makoto with how many misunderstand in this story i dont know which side to root. Guess i'll have to continued reading.
ralf07 chapter 9 . 4/6/2012
Damn... The more i read the more interesting it become
ralf07 chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
I'm only reading chapter 1 right now but the though of haruhi team up with jinnai... Better dont think about it.

Though it appear that this story wont get update i guess i should read where it stop.
Xilore chapter 20 . 9/6/2010
Wow, um... how to start...

As a story goes it was well written. The technical side of it is done well and with much thought. There are a few grammatical errors and one or two spelling mishaps but considering that is over a 20 chapter range you did very well.

For the creative side, the story is again, well thought out. The story progression (while not all to my personal taste) is smooth and believable. I liked your choice of granted powers to the SOS Brigade members, though I wonder what your reasoning for Kyon's magnetic powers. For purposes of plot and such it works out well, but each of the powers of the cannon earthlings has psychological links to their personalities. The Kyon I remember was not, in my opinion, a very deep character in any way during the series, so I just wonder if there was any reason you had in mind other than story cohesiveness.

Leaving out my personal opinions of the matchups (Haruhi and Jinnai?) you did well in the progression of relationships. I was particularly pleased with Kyon's growth and the girl from the Shadow Tribe he 'converted' to a more aware way of thinking. Well done.

Lastly, When I saw the writing style you started with I was worried that the first person narrative that the Haruhi series employs would be a disappointment because it isn't the easiest style to capture properly. You managed to do it very well, and I could easily hear Kyon's voice in my mind narrating the majority of the story.

In conclusion, I'd like to say that while the story itself didn't enrapture me by choice of plot, it was VERY well done and my personal preferences aside I think you did a spectacular job of it.

Technical: 9

Creative: 8.5

Overall Opinion: 8.7 (9.5 when personal taste is taken out)

Best of luck in the future! You are doing great!
2005004219 chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
This is priceless, reading about jinnai and haruhi interact, They both are aggressive and as diva said charismatic, zealous and funny as well.
Sydoni chapter 3 . 6/25/2010
Nice to see someone dust off El Hazard for a fic or two.

Poor Mikuru... I can only imagine what'll happen when Fatora see her...

As soon as you described Haruhi's new appearance, I had visions of her cosplaying as Wriggle Nightbug from Touhou...

While I apologize for having little of actual content in the review, especially as I power through the archive on this story, I did want to chime in and at least say that someone new is reading and enjoying your work.
Trashcat chapter 20 . 6/7/2010
Alright I've never done a 3rd review on anyone's fic but someone should give you the requested 'full story' review.

The best part of the fic is the concept. The majority of time when someone writes a fanfic crossover they are not so much writing a crossover as they are taking their favorite character from one series and self inserting them into another. You're crossover however works very naturally. The two series fit perfectly together, makes a ton of sense, and all characters are given their proper due and remain true to their respective canons. It's also a bonus that it's two great series that remain relatively untouched by the fanfic community, at least when compared to others.

Technically, you're writing was passable, not great but it got the job done. Only real problem was there were patches of inconstancy, as if at times you got bored of writing this and rushed things.

The biggest negative was the ending. The overall story remained decent throughout, but as I said above it seemed like you started rushing things to finish up... or I could be wrong, since I was able to read the first 15 or so chapters in sequence, and had to wait for updates on the rest. I think Galus kind of fell short as a villain at the end, his fortress that came out of nowhere and perfectly countered there hero team didn't seem that realistic, and there were other little wholes. And to finish things off, while I can't really blame you as you aren't being fueled by any reviews or feedback, it would have been much nicer to see a proper epilogue, rather than wrapping things up with those last few sentences a full chapter on it.

That's all I have to say. Lots of room for improvement, but overall good work, it was an enjoyable extension of the two series (which should be kind of the point of fanfics anywys).
Trashcat chapter 15 . 5/2/2010
Oh, and one more critique I forgot to mention, a fairly minor thing but definitely something that can be improved. You have a secondary OC called Nanoha Inverse, who you forgot to properly introduce. Unlike original fiction when writing fanfics you're taking characters people already know, so you can skip past all that initial character profiling stuff and get to the writing. When you make an OC though you can't just toss them in the same way without a few basic introduction details. Especially if you're borrowing names from two very different anime characters.
Trashcat chapter 16 . 5/2/2010
It's a shame this great fic is tucked away in a quiet little area without many views. Amidst the thousands of Naruto/DBZ/etc fan fictions on here it's a shame when great series like El Hazard or Melancholy of S.H. are under represented, especially when they fit so well together. So having them brought together in a well written lengthy crossover is just awesome and I can't wait to see it completed!

As for the writing itself, there's not much to comment on as while it could be a little better there's no glaring weaknesses. Really the only complaint I have with the fic is that I think you kind of botched the initial Mikuru reunion. There was great potential for comedy there starting with Kyons protectiveness about finding her first, but you had a plot device you needed to force through so that was kind of lost and it all came out a little crummy.
Solarius Scorch chapter 16 . 4/19/2010
As always, an extremely entertaining and moving piece of writing. I do think that Katsuhiko surrendered a bit too easily, but overall it was a great and probable outcome.

I am waiting impatiently for the next chapter.
enderverse chapter 15 . 4/4/2010
Its pretty good but the way you do italicized and bold so frequently I sort of picture the characters horribly overacting. I do actually picture the characters talking though, which takes skill on you part.
Solarius Scorch chapter 13 . 3/20/2010
This story is maintaining its high level of suspense! Is Katsuhiko really dead? People usually don't die so quickly from chest wounds, but this is no ordinary weapon... And if he's dead, will he be revived by Haruhi? Or will Haruhi destroy El Hazard? Stay tuned!

...Wait, that's not my fic. I wouldn't mind if it was though - this is great work! ;)
Solarius Scorch chapter 12 . 3/20/2010
This continues to be an amazing and fantastic story. Please continue!
A point chapter 12 . 3/9/2010
Wouldn't matter much. Makato can mind control any and all sentient technologies effortlessly. He has borderline absolute control of El-Hazard technology.
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