Reviews for Angel Series 1: Broken Angel
kneon chapter 40 . 3/24
Great story. Can't wait to read the next.
Renee Aubin chapter 40 . 3/17
You worried me in the first paragraph, that maybe something had gone wrong with Edward. It turns out no, he’s just away for a few days.

Makes sense to me that Carlisle would be the one to nudge Bella when it was time to “die” to her parents.
Also that even then, the Cullens would be able to stay in touch with the pack, who were keeping an eye on Charlie and Renée for her.
Aww, sad: ‘Charlie took my death hard and stayed pretty sad until the day that Izzy was born.’

I can see Charlie pushing her until maintaining the illusion was a no-win situation:
‘Charlie was starting to wonder why she never came home for holidays and summers, becoming increasingly resentful and hurt. Bella had tried over and over to appease him, but he was not to be brushed off.’

I like too that Edward accepted not only Bella’s right to make the choice to keep track of Charlie, but also that she knew herself well enough to be sure of this:
‘Just knowing he was okay was good enough for her.’

I’m glad for the news re Brandon: ‘He had taken to our life as easily as I did, and Carlisle was convinced it was because we were given a choice, that we wanted it.’ Although sheesh, Brandon had like 5 minutes to think about it, not a couple of years like Bella. I like the description of his gift as being “like a black hole” for others' gifts.

Pretty funny, re Tanya and Demitri:
‘Tanya had proved easy for him to control. He told her where to go, when to do it, and how fast she could get it done, and she loved him for it. Apparently, she'd needed someone to do that for some time.’

Cute:
"Anniversary, huh?" Edward asked, his eyebrows raising, "Do you know where you're going?"
"No," I said, sighing, "but it doesn't matter. He's really easy to get information out of."
I guess she has proved that a few times!

Re the trip to Volterra with Carlisle, Demitri, and Edward:
‘Alice was sure that I would be kept for my mind reading, so I let them go without me. My life with my angel was not something that I was willing to take a chance on. Ever.’
Not only a great illustration that Alice’s gift was indispensable at times, but also a level of acceptance from Edward. I can easily see canon Edward thinking he could “handle it”, or that HE was indispensable. Well he is, but only to Bella.

Nice: ‘It was the bond that we shared; it fused us together. It was physical, as well as emotional, keeping us together for all time. We stopped questioning it, stopped worrying about it…we just accepted it.’
And stopped trying to explain it to anyone else, I bet.

Sweet: men in the airport lounge ‘had been ogling her for some time, trying to find the courage to talk to her, but she was giving off an air of unapproachability. It was something she was unaware of, only melting when she heard my voice.’

Marie Anthony, I like it. Also that her vampire romance was really Carlisle and Esme’s story. It's a great story!

How lovely to get to this point:
‘I had a very difficult time remembering what life was like without him.’

Interesting theory re Bella and Jacob:
‘Our souls kept telling each other that it wasn't right, that we were both meant for someone else, and we didn't listen; we just kept trudging through life for two years in misery.’

A really satisfying resolution to the New Moon debacle:
‘Every promise that he'd ever made to me, he had kept. No running away or brooding over things; we worked everything out, even if it's loudly, only to fall into bed with each other when it's all over.’

Ah, they sound like early Emmett and Rosalie, only more considerate of the family:
‘Our attraction to one another grew so fierce so fast, we found ourselves having to go away almost every weekend. We were driving the family insane.’

I enjoyed this Charlie-ism thrown in at the end:
‘"Are you finished?" he asked, pointing to my laptop.
"For now," I sighed, kissing his shoulder.
"Good," he said, pulling me into his lap with a smirk. "You're all mine."
"Always am," I promised…’

Whew, I can hardly believe I made it to the end of this story – it took me 21 days, and it would have been much longer without Rita’s read-along. This fantastic story deserved every moment of the effort that it took to review each chapter. The story may have been finished 7 years ago (!), but it holds up beautifully. Thanks for writing, thanks for sharing, thanks for leaving it where we can enjoy it.
Renee Aubin chapter 39 . 3/16
So if Brandon’s talent is that “this boy would be able to break through just about anything”, that makes him particularly effective against Bella’s shield? And since she’s not used to encountering humans without her shield, Tanya figured she’d be more vulnerable to him than the rest of the Cullens? Then it wasn’t that he was her singer at all, just an unprotected encounter with a “regular” human.

Interesting thought from Carlisle that "I think you of all people can urge him that this life is better than death, Bella.”

You certainly portrayed Dmitri as being fair-minded and honest about enforcing the law. That’s more than I ever felt about the Volturi in canon. Refreshing.

From Bella’s speech to Brandon: “You can make of it what you want. It can be really fun, interesting…or it can be dark and sad.”
Pretty true of ordinary human life too, eh?

After managing to resist Brandon, Bella to Edward:
"But I'll tell you this…don't ever apologize for our first meeting again. If I smelled half as good as Brandon does, then I just don't know how you did it.”
Nice.

Perfect:
‘"Jesus Christ," I breathed, walking up to her. "Shut the fuck up!" I barked, balling my fist up and swinging straight for her face with everything I had.’

Hmm, an unexpected side effect of the Tanya drama, making E&B more sure of themselves than ever:
‘So many hearts broken along the way, but I was tired of apologizing to people. It began with Jake, and we got through that…even Mike…then, poor Edward with Tanya, and girls at school, and even Jessica back when…. He was mine. I was his.’

Dmitri had entirely too much fun with the choices he offered Tanya. Although he did make a good spokesperson for the Volturi. Fun:
"Damn," Rose muttered so low just us girls could hear it. "Tough choice. Death by Aro, death by Bells…or sexy Italian vampire."

Wow, he’s already got her on a leash:
"Bella," [Tanya] whined, and Demitri stepped in front of her.
"No," he said, his tone sharp, "you're done. I've heard about your apologies. No need to lie to these people anymore. From now on, you answer to me."
This oughta be interesting, to see what happens for the two of them.

Cute: ‘All of our men watched as all four of us smiled at Demitri, singing, "Bye, Demitri," in unison.’

And then re the top-secret Halloween costumes, who better to mess with Alice’s vision than the men of her own family?
I’m with Bella on this one: ‘I really knew my husband. Edward wouldn't come as a nerd if you handed him a mountain lion on a leash. He lived to drive me to the brink of lustful insanity, and a nerd would not do it.’
Although I don't know ... it has possibilities.

It was fun to see the women betting for a change.

Quite the entrance to the party, all three Cullen boys in “Top Gun” gear. There aren’t enough towels on the whole campus to mop up the drool. This was particularly good: ‘…the jeans that left nothing to my imagination, but would probably haunt Keri's dreams for weeks to come.’ Oh hell, then he straddles the bike.

Lovely that he found them a special place where they could get away together.

This was especially delightful:
‘Dirty talk threw my wife over the edge every time …
I loved even more that she never told anyone about it, not even my sisters.’

This was surprisingly touching, as much as “forever” was used to death in canon:
"Thank you for forever."
Aww.
Renee Aubin chapter 38 . 3/15
Fun:
"What does that matter?" Sarah snorted. "Married just means she's probably not putting out," she laughed. …
"Hmm," my favorite velvet voice purred at my ear. "I don't see any truth in that statement. Weren't you just this morning…"

Also charming:
‘"There's a hundred years of school fantasies in that mind of yours, isn't there?" I asked, looking up at him.
"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," he said, fighting a smile.’
Nice use of a lunch hour…

Thanks for the image of Edward as Wesley: ‘…Edward in all black, the mask, the black scarf on his head…’

Good point: ‘…the protection of our family rested on our shoulders. Every Cullen played a role, but in the beginning of any situation, it was Alice and me.’

Sweet: ‘It seemed that I couldn't keep enough contact between us. I worried that sometimes I may smother her with my need. Bella slid her hand into mine, turning my ring slowly. She didn't even look up from her book. Okay, so it wasn't just me.’

So true: ‘Bella never changed; she never had any patience for human boys.’

Interesting:
“Maybe Esme's right. Maybe there is something wrong with [Tanya]."
"There might be," Jasper mused. "Maria wasn't exactly sane."
Also Victoria was no poster child for mental health.

Hmm, Bella’s got a point:
“It all seems so silly, yet I can't help but feel there's so much more to it." She frowned. "Look, Tanya knows I won't leave you, so what's the point in 'setting me up' with someone?" She sighed. "It just doesn't make sense."

Tanya thinks Bella “won't be able to resist what I've sent her." WTF? She must think there’s something really special about Brandon.
Then OMG, Alice says “She hasn't called the Volturi yet…she's waiting for your reaction to this boy."
Does Tanya think he’s Bella’s singer or something? And how would she know?

Good idea, Carlisle, for Bella: “…don't shield Jasper tomorrow. Only yourself…and your mind open to Edward at all times when you are talking with this boy.” At least then he’ll know how she’s reacting.

Wow, I did not expect Bella to vent to Jacob about the whole situation. I guess their relationship has been repaired more than I thought.
Good line from Jacob: “[Edward would] rather kiss me than leave your side for a minute."

That’s kind of sad that Jessica quit UW to live on the res. I hate to see her limiting her choices.

Hmm, and why is Brandon so sad when he approaches Bella?
Oh my gosh! ‘His mind was desolate, suicidal. He had fallen in love with Tanya, and she was handing him over to be killed.’

Cliffie – really? Grumble, I guess I can forgive you because you don’t do that a lot.
Renee Aubin chapter 37 . 3/14
Cute line, about Edward’s groupies:
‘"Are you worried about this girl?" I asked.
Jasper piped up. "What could one girl do?" he asked, smiling. "Unless it's you, Bells," he continued, snorting.’

Yeah, this would totally be a problem:
‘I found myself chewing on my pen, staring at Edward's hands. They looked so innocent, just sitting on the table, one with his wedding band, the other with a pen in it. But I was well aware of what they were capable of.’
Such beautiful hands, sigh.

Hmm, interesting that Catherine claims to be looking for Carlisle, but stares at Edward. I wonder what would have happened if Jasper and Bella had left to hunt as planned. Who knows what the “magnet” might have extracted from the others, although she claims she was just playing around.

A well imagine scene where Catherine physically draws everyone in closer, except for the two under Bella’s shield. If she hadn’t been protecting Jasper, she’d have had no clue what was happening. And Bella wasn’t imagining that “Edward is the target”. Interesting that once it’s broken they don’t remember anything.

Oh shoot, Bella’s already in bloodlust and Catherine mentions the T-word! Surely Tanya realized that targeting Edward would cause physical and emotional pain for Bella.

Fascinating idea: ‘This was the Bella we'd expected when she was first changed. It was killing me to see her this way. It wasn't her. This was her on her final straw; there was nothing left of her.’

Smile, from Edward:
"I've got a reputation to uphold. If you come in saving me all the time, then it will all go to hell."

Good one:
‘"Bells didn't like human boys when she was a human," Alice snorted.’

Whoa:
‘"I think there's something wrong with [Tanya]." Coming from Esme, we were all just stunned into silence. "She needs to leave my family alone," she said, frowning and looking up at Carlisle. "Do something, or I will!" she snapped.’
And later
“She's wanted Edward for too long. It's caused damage or something."
I can see how the family found that amusing!

Ah yes, just the kind of sexing she needed. They both needed.
Yummy and bratty at the same time:
‘He skimmed his nose from my opening, brushing against my sensitive bundle, and my hips shot off the bed. His tongue made the same trail, and I tried to grind against him.
"Do you want to come, my love?" he asked, his mouth kissing everywhere but where I wanted him.’

Well I suppose there’s the slightest chance ol’ Joe could be innocently clueless:
"Well, I was wondering, I mean…there's such a big group of you, are you seeing anyone?"

Fun:
‘”I'm married, Joe," I said, pointing to my ring.
Edward winked at me from behind him.
"Oh, which one…" Joe asked, confused.
"The one behind you," Alice giggled, not being able to resist.’

Oh, shoot, and "He's not the one, by the way…the one Tanya sent."

OK, I can see how my fellow read-along participants were getting all wound up about Tanya… A few more chapters to go, so I can only guess how much mayhem you have in store for us.
Guest chapter 30 . 3/9
Thank goodness, when they arrive on Isle Esme:
"You want to go for a swim?" he asked…
"No, maybe later," I murmured, biting my lip and slowly removing the shirt from his shoulders. "Swimming is not what I want right now," I clarified, running my hands over his chest.’

‘"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." His voice was quiet, but husky.’
It’s easy to believe he’s not exaggerating in this moment.

Aww: ‘We had been making love for almost a year at this point, but this was so different. He was worshiping me. He was taking his time, trying to believe it was real.’
It truly was touching how they slowed it down this time, acknowledging the long-awaited occasion.

Sounds like the Bella we used to know: ‘Edward even tried to teach me to surf, laughing when I fell, sputtering when I dumped him off his board. Apparently, even with my vampire grace, some activities were never going to happen.‘
Emmett will be sorry he missed that.

A nice touch that Edward admits the first songs he learned were sad ones, from being separated from Bella.

Smile:
"When did you become a fan of Lifehouse, love?" …
"You liked them," he answered simply. "That was all that mattered."

Giggle: ‘Not to let the mood go bad, I asked, "Did you know your ears sparkle?"’

Excellent:
‘Now I was curious enough to reach down and untie his board shorts. I shoved them with my feet, and he kicked out of them. When the sun hit him – all of him – my breath caught. If I'd ever thought he looked like an angel before, he most definitely did right then.
"Bring that here," I growled, looking him up and down.’

He really loves hearing the dirty talk from her mind, doesn’t he? He waited all this time to hear her thoughts, and these thoughts are beyond his wildest dreams!

And finally, a little anal play, done perfectly for a first time!

It feels like a completed circle to hear these thoughts from Edward:
"I didn't think we'd get here," I admitted, watching my own hand touch her skin with just my fingertips. "I thought that there would always be one more thing..." I trailed off, looking at her.
"What?" she asked, smirking. "One more van, one more enemy, one more..."
"Yes, exactly.”

‘"I'm not docking this thing, Edward," she said, snickering and shaking her head.’
Well at least she said “docking” and not “parking”. Not a total newb.

It’ll be a long time before they are both really over their separation:
‘For the first time in a very long time, I hated that she had ridden a motorcycle as a human. I was jealous.
Jake had been irresponsible and stupid for teaching her how. … The scar on her head was proof of that. It should have been me. I should have been there.’
Yes, he should have. But if he had been there, she wouldn’t have gotten to ride a motorcycle, unless it was in a suit of armor riding behind him.

Kind of fun – riding on the bike behind Edward is a little like riding piggyback when he runs.

It has always bothered me that they hunt apex predators, no matter how sexy it might be. Their numbers are so small compared to herd animals.

This is another scene I remember from my first reading a few years ago – tearing up the forest on the mountain in Brazil. Decadent and delicious.

Good line! "It'll be the only name you'll remember when I'm through fucking you."

‘God, I loved Dirty Edward.’ Yeah she’s got a lot of company!

Two excellent lines to end the chapter:

"I know, baby," I said, hating that this was a reminder for us of a time he wasn't there. "If it makes you feel any better, I had more fun today than I did with my own bike, ever!"

"Come on, love," he said. "Show this bike what my girl can do with it."
Renee Aubin chapter 36 . 3/11
Good job, Esme, replicating a detail from the house where they spent their honeymoon.

Pretty funny to hear Emmett call Carlisle and Esme “the parental units”.

Good one, re Bella reading her romance novel by the pool:
‘I turned a page, and it was yanked from my hands. "Hey!" I laughed at the look on Edward's face.
"I don't think so," he said, smiling. "Just…no…" He tucked it into the waistband of his jeans at the small of his back.’

Excellent: "Jesus," Jasper said, flipping through the book. "Can humans even do that?”

Watching them unload the piano was definitely fun…

Kinda cute that now Bella has to look out for sparkles too:
‘There were a few more sunny days than Forks had, but with the way things were, we could all check in online on the days that we couldn't attend.’

‘The more I thought about it, the more dressing [Edward] sounded like fun. Different styles flashed through my mind, and I tried them on him mentally.’
Um, yeah…

Wow what a beautiful lovemaking scene, when Bella’s heart clenches thinking of being separated the next day.
"You know I'm not going anywhere," he said, his face a little stern.
"Yes, I do," I said, looking away from him. "My heart knows, but my brain gets stupid sometimes, Edward."

Hmm, interesting, Carlisle’s theory about E&B’s connection.

Yes, this would be a trial:
‘I had forgotten what an all out assault school was—college or high school—on my mind. There were thoughts everywhere. When my wife and my sisters walked together, every male turned, every mind went out of control.’

Nice: ‘Sitting in class with Bella almost three years ago was one thing. Her blood had called to me, my throat had burned, but I had still wanted her, loved her. Sitting next to my wife was a completely different distraction.’

Awesome:
‘"Well, Jazz, is it working?" I asked, getting up from our table at the end of class.
"Shit, Bells, it rocks. I wish we'd had you at more schools," he said, shaking his head.’

Also rather like the Forks cafeteria:
‘I watched a group of girls sit down at a table and stare over us, but when they all turned, I knew my husband had come in the door.’
Or one of the Cullen men, anyway.

This would have made high school more interesting:
‘He picked up my hand, kissing it softly. His tongue flicked out tasting my skin.
"If you behave," I said, looking into his darkening eyes, "I promise you can put that tongue anywhere on me once we're home."’
Renee Aubin chapter 35 . 3/11
Thank goodness for this:
‘Carlisle also explained that leaving my angel had caused feelings of rejection and abandonment, allowing her feelings of self-worth to plummet and bottom out. However, that part of her was well on its way to recovery. After living with us for a year, all of us, she was quite happy with herself as far as that went.’

Nice:
‘"You've kept me prisoner in here since we got back from Port Angeles…not that I'm complaining," she said, giggling adorably.
I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face. I had kept her to myself since we had returned from the party. I felt selfish with her, so I kept her, ravishing her. I couldn't get enough.’

Well done, Carlisle’s explanation for why Edward is anxious about the move:
"Taking you away from your home is something that's always plagued him. You are wholly his responsibility now…your well being, happiness, care…are all his job now as your husband. There's no going back, no Charlie for you to fall back on. And he wants it all for you…to give you everything…a little high on the expectation side, but it is Edward we're talking about."

Good one:
‘“[Emmett] hasn't stopped bitching since the truck pulled in. Do we have duct tape?" [Rosalie] asked, looking at Esme.
"It won't hold," she answered, laughing.’

Fun: ‘The boys loaded boxes, and we watched, laughing when they got frustrated with each other. At one point, Emmett's whining got to his brothers so bad, they attacked him.’

Yumm:
‘He stood up from [the cougar], looking quite intimidating.
My instincts were conflicted…my instinct as a vampire was to ravish him, my instinct as a woman was to run.’

Ha Ha, this made me think of their wedding vows:
"I want to fuck you like this every day of forever, baby.”
SM would faint.

Aww, I practically got sniffly when he led her to the parking lot of Forks High. So sweet: ‘I opened my shield for Edward to see my thoughts, and I felt him pull me closer. I replayed all our conversations, every tentative touch…every sexual tension filled moment…every laugh and every smile.’

Lovely words about the meadow: ‘This was sacred ground to us.’
"We'll come back here, love," Edward whispered. "I promise. We'll sneak in if we have to," he said, smiling at me. "I can't let it go, either."

Fun:
‘There was a thundering slam from upstairs, followed by Emmett's booming laugh. "Damn it, Emmett!" my angel growled.
"She's right," Jasper said, snickering. "She does call him that at least once a day."’
Oh, he was really living on the edge, snatching her stuffed lion!

Oh damn it, more sniffly stuff, this time from Edward:
‘I looked back at the house, feeling a sense of loss. For the first time in my many long years, this was the first house I had considered a home. No place we had ever lived meant more to me than this one. I realized that the reason for that was sitting next to me in the car…and I was taking her with me. She was my home.’
I always felt like the Cullen house was as much a character as anyone else.

Sort of like their canon 20 questions moments:
"I was trying to figure out the best moments of my life…aside from you."
‘She made me relive some really good moments that I had forgotten.’

Creepy guys at the Montana gas station. It wouldn’t have been amusing at all if they had been human women. A scary moment:
‘"Edward, let's go," I said, pushing against his chest.
He wasn't listening.
"Baby, look at me," I ordered softly. "They aren't worth it. Let's go."
His eyes were black. I couldn't even imagine the things these two boys were thinking.’

Ha, and Bella thought romance novels weren’t educational!
This was my favorite part:
‘"God, baby, that feels so good," he groaned. One of his hands threaded in my hair, pulling it away from my face. "Damn, it looks even better," he breathed.’

On to the New Hampshire house!
Renee Aubin chapter 34 . 3/11
Whoa.
‘Watching Edward emerge from the Volvo was something I would never get used to. I groaned, watching his long, lean body stand, running his hand through his hair.’
Way too vivid...

Emmett to Bella re Jacob:
"You think that you deserved that shit somehow, because you needed a friend?"
Exactly.

Oh, wow. Bella often provoked Jacob because
“I wanted him to phase on me, okay?"
A bit later
‘Carlisle figured that I was close to suicide in those years. Not actively looking to kill myself, but welcoming it if it came. It took hours to calm Edward down after that discovery.’
Yeah, I bet.

Good question:
"When will this not bother us anymore?" I asked, twirling a long blade of grass through my fingers. "You were miserable…I was miserable…we aren't anymore…why does this still hurt?"
That’s a good thought to talk to Carlisle some more.

“I took it as punishment, all of it."
"For what, love?" he asked sharply. "What would you deserve that for?"

"Because I wasn't good enough for you!" I yelled. "I couldn't keep you."
Yikes.

Very insightful from Edward:
‘"There's nothing wrong with you, sweet girl. Nothing. You are running through every emotion an abuse victim goes through. You are allowing a friendship, because that's what you do. You forgive them even when they don't deserve it." He smirked when he said it, letting me know he was talking about himself.’

Very good, Emmett re the stakes for the pool rematch:
"All right, ladies, if you lose to us tonight, we get to pick your dance partner."
We all started to snicker, rolling our eyes.
"Wait! It's not your spouse that picks for you! If that were the case, Edward would let Bella dance with a ninety year old man."

When the girls walk in the pool hall dressed to kill:
"Oh, boys," [Carlisle] said, snickering. "May the Force be with you."

And then dancing with Mike: ‘It was hell…gross, uncoordinated hell.’ Yeah, I can picture that.

Interesting confrontation between Bella – who, by the way, “married the hottest piece of ass in Washington” – and Lauren. Bella really had to think on her feet. Lauren whines,
"Everyone has someone, and I don't."
"You do," I countered. "He's just an idiot.”
I liked that in the end it turned out well for Lauren.

‘"Who says we have to leave?" [Edward] asked, his crooked smile in place, but his eyes were black fire.’
Well, duh!
And when they finished demolishing the brick wall:
"Jesus," he said, his head on my shoulder. "That's what I get for having a fuck hot wife."
Too bad canon Edward never got to say that…
Renee Aubin chapter 33 . 3/11
I love how seriously Bella takes Edward’s journal of their early time together. It never made sense to me in canon that Bella did not insist on devouring his journals!

Smile: ‘Without Emmett and Rose, we realized that we were pretty quiet people.’

Back in the journals: ‘I rolled my eyes to myself when he wondered over and over if I found him physically attractive. It was absurd to even pose the question. I was stunned into silence most of the time I was with him back then; he'd never even considered his looks as the cause.’
Terrific.
‘The one person he wanted to find him attractive was the one he was unsure of himself with. I held everything about him in my hands, and I didn't even know it.’

Excellent – Jasper’s take on Edward’s moods since they came back:
‘…he was so sure he was doing the right thing...and we came home to you being far from okay. His emotions were wild at the time...all over the place. He was happy with you, angry about what he'd let happen, guilty because he'd made the wrong decision, guiltier even more for losing time with you, nervous that you would just say 'fuck it' and toss him aside. Oh, Bella, and the lust…”

When Bella asks Jasper to be careful about any song that Edward hesitates on:
"Only songs about rainbows and sunshine...got it."
Ha ha.

I snickered at this observation from Bella: both Edward and Jasper ‘were so sweet when not influenced by Emmett.’

Another good moment from the journals: ‘Even funnier was Edward's constant worry about anything and everything that could possibly happen to this human girl – from bears wandering down the street to tornados.’

A good revelation to Edward, re the day she lay in the sun on the quilt in Charlie’s yard, not knowing he was watching from nearby:
"I was frustrated because I couldn't see you...and I didn't understand why I wanted to so much.”

An excellent observation, specificially re the waitress in P.A.: ‘He had made himself "safe" for me, and he was attracting women left and right.’

Interesting question:
‘…thinking about how I'd flirted with Jake way back then to get the information I'd wanted. …
"I wonder," I said, biting my lip, "if my problem with Jake began right there...using him, tricking him."’

Aww:
"You know what's funny, Edward?" she asked, turning her head to look at me. "This whole time I've been reading, you've called yourself everything under the sun, yet, you come into my room, hunt down a blanket, and cover me up because you thought I was cold. Baby, monsters don't do that."

Smile: ‘I may have been over a hundred, but I was all seventeen-year-old virgin when it came to thoughts of her.’

Mmmm – fooling around on the sofa in the Cullen living room with Alice and Jasper upstairs and everyone else temporarily out…

Delicious: ‘There wasn't a part of us that wasn't touching, that wasn't connected, and I still wasn't close enough.’

Sigh, yes, it’s hard being the Dad:
‘For the first time ever, I actually felt sorry for Carlisle. There were so many of us, with such a wide range of personalities, that keeping us in order and happy was a huge challenge.’

Pretty funny when Bella finds her school uniform plaid skirt in the box from Renee.
‘For the first time in ages, I saw Edward pinch the bridge of his nose, trying to get himself together.’

OK now wait, they couldn’t make time to go to Seattle for Charlie’s wedding?

When Bella is upset by having to say goodbye to Charlie, it’s lovely that this is all she has to say:
"Get me out of here. I don't have control, Edward."
Renee Aubin chapter 32 . 3/10
Cute: ‘"Did you watch The Notebook again?" Jasper asked, chuckling and sitting down with Alice in his lap.’

Yummy, watching the movie:
‘I was so aware of Edward behind me that I could barely think. Every dip and curve of my body was filled with his. Every breath he took, I felt it everywhere.’

Good one: ‘Edward's tongue was the devil, I was sure of it.’

Interesting: ‘We'd been trying to organize all my stuff for packing. I'd recently realized that none of it really mattered, but Bella insisted on helping me, telling me that it was good to keep my memories...including the ones without her in them.’

A unique look into Jasper’s psychology, and Bella’s effect on him.

An unexpected development, re Miss Gail:
"It's your first loss. I'm so sorry, love.

This was what I tried to tell you about, love," I said, kissing her head. "I never wanted this for you."

Now this does sound like a newborn:
"Promise me that I never find out the driver's name. I'll kill him."

The thing with being unable to drop her shield and let the others get to her when she’s upset – that could be a problem someday.

The boys’ jam session was delightful. And “Desperado” … how fitting. No wonder it brought back painful memories for Edward, his own “song issues”. It really is faintly cruel that that was his “theme song” within the family.

Heartbreaking: "I didn't want to leave you," he said so quietly against my jaw. "I didn't want to be alone."

Wow: “I heard it one time...while we were apart." His eyes closed. "I hated it. I hated that I was by myself, that I didn't have you. That I had given up on us. Before I knew it, I was making my way back here.”

I like how the trauma of their separation keeps coming up for one or both of them – something like that takes a long time to resolve.
Renee Aubin chapter 31 . 3/10
So we finally see the effect of the storm:
‘But unlike the jungle, where we were playing, this was pure desperation.’

This was a particularly good line:
‘"Harder, Edward," I said, not recognizing my own voice.’
The not recognizing her own voice part, I mean. Well…I have no complaints about the rest of it either.

And afterwards, ‘It was the first time since my change that I wished I could have slept.’
Smile.

Fun speculation about the female vampire in “Lost Boys”:
"Hmm, I wonder what would have happened if the roles had been reversed."

Laughing: "As good as you look," she said, shaking her head, "the girls would ruin you in this day and age, Mr. Nineteen Eighteen."

So was that a penalty or a reward for his cheating at Monopoly?
Hmm, and a teasing Dirty Edward is even better than regular Dirty Edward:
‘His voice was killing me, so deep, so sexy, so fucking close.’

Well said:
'“I don't ever doubt that you love me. Ever. What I worry about is what you lose. It has always been my worry."
"And you don't understand what I've gained," she said.'

Nicely imagined cave. It really did sound like “Journey to the Center of the Earth”.
A good reminder of how long they’ve been around: "We came here just before moving to Forks...the first time.”

You’ve managed to give us a dizzying variety of emotional tones in their lovemaking over the course of this story.
Renee Aubin chapter 30 . 3/10
Thank goodness, when they arrive on Isle Esme:
"You want to go for a swim?" he asked…
"No, maybe later," I murmured, biting my lip and slowly removing the shirt from his shoulders. "Swimming is not what I want right now," I clarified, running my hands over his chest.’

‘"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." His voice was quiet, but husky.’
It’s easy to believe he’s not exaggerating in this moment.

Aww: ‘We had been making love for almost a year at this point, but this was so different. He was worshiping me. He was taking his time, trying to believe it was real.’
It truly was touching how they slowed it down this time, acknowledging the long-awaited occasion.

Sounds like the Bella we used to know: ‘Edward even tried to teach me to surf, laughing when I fell, sputtering when I dumped him off his board. Apparently, even with my vampire grace, some activities were never going to happen.‘
Emmett will be sorry he missed that.

A nice touch that Edward admits the first songs he learned were sad ones, from being separated from Bella.

Smile:
"When did you become a fan of Lifehouse, love?" …
"You liked them," he answered simply. "That was all that mattered."

Giggle: ‘Not to let the mood go bad, I asked, "Did you know your ears sparkle?"’

Excellent:
‘Now I was curious enough to reach down and untie his board shorts. I shoved them with my feet, and he kicked out of them. When the sun hit him – all of him – my breath caught. If I'd ever thought he looked like an angel before, he most definitely did right then.
"Bring that here," I growled, looking him up and down.’

He really loves hearing the dirty talk from her mind, doesn’t he? He waited all this time to hear her thoughts, and these thoughts are beyond his wildest dreams!

And finally, a little anal play, done perfectly for a first time!

It feels like a completed circle to hear these thoughts from Edward:
"I didn't think we'd get here," I admitted, watching my own hand touch her skin with just my fingertips. "I thought that there would always be one more thing..." I trailed off, looking at her.
"What?" she asked, smirking. "One more van, one more enemy, one more..."
"Yes, exactly.”

‘"I'm not docking this thing, Edward," she said, snickering and shaking her head.’
Well at least she said “docking” and not “parking”. Not a total newb.

It’ll be a long time before they are both really over their separation:
‘For the first time in a very long time, I hated that she had ridden a motorcycle as a human. I was jealous.
Jake had been irresponsible and stupid for teaching her how. … The scar on her head was proof of that. It should have been me. I should have been there.’
Yes, he should have. But if he had been there, she wouldn’t have gotten to ride a motorcycle, unless it was in a suit of armor riding behind him.

Kind of fun – riding on the bike behind Edward is a little like riding piggyback when he runs.

It has always bothered me that they hunt apex predators, no matter how sexy it might be. Their numbers are so small compared to herd animals.

This is another scene I remember from my first reading a few years ago – tearing up the forest on the mountain in Brazil. Decadent and delicious.

Good line! "It'll be the only name you'll remember when I'm through fucking you."

‘God, I loved Dirty Edward.’ Yeah she’s got a lot of company!

Two excellent lines to end the chapter:

"I know, baby," I said, hating that this was a reminder for us of a time he wasn't there. "If it makes you feel any better, I had more fun today than I did with my own bike, ever!"

"Come on, love," he said. "Show this bike what my girl can do with it."
EeWee chapter 40 . 3/10
One down and three to go. I can't even begin to tell you how much i have enjoyed this story. You have such a grasp of canon Edward and Bella. New moon is my favorite of the books and movies and I truly love your take on it. I've been doing a read-along with the girls from Rob Attack and I think we're starting the next Angel book this weekend. Again...thanks for a great story.
Renee Aubin chapter 29 . 3/9
Good one:
‘…Jasper said, laughing. "They've done just fine without you, Em."
Right? he thought to me. Tell me you never got advice from him.’

A nice transition: ‘I remembered going to Carlisle for everything. I now went to Bella. I knew he missed our talks. They used to last all night as we debated and theorized over subjects no one else in the house had patience for.’

Smile: ‘She made me see the good in myself and not the creature I'd thought I was – something Carlisle had tried to tell me our whole lives together. It took a headstrong brunette with a wicked temper and a beautiful smile to do in three years what he'd tried to do for decades.’

Clever, from Jasper: “There are humans, vampires, and werewolves...it's the fairytale wedding.”

Delightful: ‘"But your prince is waiting," [Jasper] said, bowing to me with a wry smile.’

Nice: ‘Edward, however, tasted insanely good with icing on his lips.
"Hmm," I said, "note to self."’

An appropriately sharp edge, Bella to Jacob:
"You're lucky I really like Anna. Otherwise, I might avoid you altogether."

I’m with Bella – glad all the wedding hoopla is over.
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