|Reviews for Heiress by Blood|
| math music reading chapter 4 . 7/22/2009
Wow, that was very realistic. Nee going to Mel unwillingly and Mel not knowing it, it's a difficult issue. Very easy for Mel to be hurt by it when she learned but Nee did become true friends with her without resenting anything. Also, if she had told her originally, they might not have been able to become friends. Nice work! I can't wait for Vidanric though!
| math music reading chapter 3 . 7/22/2009
This is amazing. I love how you incorporated all of the characters, especially Flauvic. I hope not too much develops between them though since they're cousins now. Good job on adding courtly motives and dialogue, I know I wouldn't be able to. Intrigue and diplomatic behavior are so difficult to write, I have no idea how you can do it. Great job!
| Meneldur chapter 7 . 7/22/2009
Excellent chapter. Sorry I didn't review the last oine, but I've been busy, and didn't feel I had the time to re-read it just so I can review it. Besides, I did offer a few of my thoughts on the last chapter in our e-mails.
I've got a bit of time tonight, so I'll try to correct it. You should have it by morning.
I think Danric was excellently portrayed. All his reactions to Meliara were quite honest and typical to him. It seems he's already somewhat in love with her - either that or his dislike of Flauvic is very great. He's also suspicious of Mel, but seems to quickly realize there's a good chance she's completely innocent.
I already mentioned the king of Sartor issue. Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter that much.
I find it hard to beleive they all think she attacked him. Wouldn't it seem like a slap? Calling it an attack seems exaggerated. Perhaps an insult, or a slap.
I can't wait to see more of Danric and Mel, and learn more of Mel's skills. Her history is quite suspicious - one could almost assume Galdran killed his own wife. I wonder to what conclusion Savona and Danric will come to, and if Mel will realize they're trying to find out more about her.
Until the next chapter or e-mail, then.
| MissAX chapter 7 . 7/22/2009
yay! Danric's POV! very good and I think you kept him very canon, so congrats on that! As for your previous question, I would recommend maybe another story from just Danric's POV if you have time. But to keep doing this story in Mel's POV with and occasional Danric chapter here and there. From personal experience, I can say that writing multiple stories is very VERY hard!
keep the updates coming )
| Alaizabel Cray chapter 6 . 7/20/2009
Oh yes you should definetly include some chapter's in Vidanric's point of veiw. Awesome chapter by the way. I'm in the midst of dying my hair purple so i've got to run. Update soon please!
| courtingu chapter 6 . 7/20/2009
Yes, i think Danric is protrayed well. i liked the part with the dance! please do updata soon ,plz!
| MissAX chapter 6 . 7/20/2009
how you portrayed Mel is very interesting. it's similar and almost identical to Sherwood Smith's Mel, although given her backgrounds of growing up in Sartor (sp?) I would just see her as being a bit more diplomatic than trying to bash poor Danric's head with her fan ) then again, love makes us do strange things...
I would LOVE a couple scenes in Danric's POV ) I actually enjoy his POV more than Mel's but sadly, there aren't many of them out there. Keep up the good work and update soon.
| Mrs. Dom Masbolle chapter 6 . 7/20/2009
I think it'd be nice to have a few chapters in Danric's point of view... maybe during the time he starts to fall in love with Mel...
Now, I'd like to say that I love your portrayal of Danric... it was perfect! he was the court dandy and then when she started to show more anger at her father's actions he started to get a little confused... and it showed... and then you could tell he at least started noticing her more because of the comment about her eyes... I love it!
And I thought it curious how Mel just has to pout and Flauvic will give in... so are you having him be the potential lover or the brother?
| aerethel chapter 6 . 7/20/2009
Ha ha, that's so like Mel to attempt to attack Danric in front of the entire court, and manage to hurt herself. I must say i'm interested in where your Flauvic is going, since he played quite a role in the book. I would love to read some Danric POV's, he's my favorite character, and I just love his sense of humor.
| Mrs. Dom Masbolle chapter 5 . 7/16/2009
this is a very interesting story... How better can Danric and Bran plot to overthrow Galdren when they have the princess on the people's side!
I think it'd be interesting to see Galdren support a relationship between Danric and Mel and then they could use their "courting" time to plot...
I can't wait to see how you have them meet and really see each other... and I really hope you have Mel visit Bran down in the dungeon and have him explain everything to her...
Is Flauvic good in your story? He seems very nice (genuinely so) to Mel... is it because she is his cousin, or because he is trying to fool her?
please update soon!
| Anenihan chapter 5 . 7/11/2009
I'm intregued so far. But honestly Flauvic is being way to unFlauvic and Mel is being way to comfortable with him. This is going to be Mel/Danric right? I mean I refuse to read it if it's any other way! meow
| merryabandon chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
This is my favorite chapter yet! And I absolutely love the new Flauvic! You're very good at maintaining Mel's character, and I'm interested to see where her suspicions and disgust of Galdran lead her. The fans are pretty cool and I like how you integrated-yet tweaked- the scene from Crown Duel. Only it's Bran this time! XD Definitely looking forward to the next chapter with some Mel and Danric interaction... eagerly awaiting your update!
| Meneldur chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
Well, I'll have to edit this too probably. But since it turns out you double updaed, it'll probably go faster than I expected.
| Meneldur chapter 4 . 7/8/2009
A good chapter. I'll need to edit it so it's more readable, though. Hopefully I'll be finished by tomorrow at the latest.
Mel gets really angry at Nee, and unfairly blames her. When Mel learns the truth, she is shocked. All the reactions were quite in character and plausible. Mel runs off, and apologizes to Nee when she comes back. They make up, but Mel is totally angry at Galdran.
Virandric returns with Bran. Mel doesn't realize this until the next day in Court, though.
I'm glad you used my idea about War Fans. Although Tessejutsu is the art of fighting with them, not a name for one.
Why does Mel bring greeting from the King of Sartor if the ruler of Sartor is a Queen?
The necklace and Flauvic were quite cute. I liked them a lot. Flauvic certainly right, he'll need it to help her.
| MissAX chapter 5 . 7/7/2009
yay! an update! I like the fan idea, it is very canon with what Sherwood Smith feels about fan language and their power. For some reason, it also reminds me of the Protector of the Small series by Tamora Pierce... anyways, nicely done.
The only problem I have is the 2 huge paragraphs in ch. 4. Long paragraphs are tedious to read and reminds me of long, hard novels read in English class (Heart of Darkness comes to mind first...). There also seems to be some repetition in ch. 4 and ch. 5, which I don't know is intentional or from the occasional glitch on Fanfiction.
Well, keep up the good work and update soon!