|Reviews for Maybe Change is Good After All|
| OBBSESSED chapter 18 . 12/18/2011
i like it . but you only watched the movies didnt you?
| karabell-karaboo723 chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
First off, I highly suggest a beta. Your grammar really needs improvment. As does your spelling and punctuation. I canunderstand a few typos, but in this entire story, I have not seen more than one form of the word "There".
Second, most of the characters seem pretty ooc. Fred and George, though not main characters, have been established as almost exactly alike in personality. I feel as if you have made them too different. And her owning the same wand as George just seems weird, not cool. Ron also did not get a new wand, it was stated in the very first book that his wand used to be Charlie's.
Third, having the author's notes in all capitals is a violation of site rules. IIt is disreagard for proper grammar.
| SlytherinRiter chapter 7 . 10/11/2010
Crape's last name makes me giggle. I mean, you're talking about this tough-arse bully, and I'm thinking about the thin pancake that often has a sugary or sweet substance poured over it.
| laSoldier chapter 2 . 4/19/2010
I hope not all the chapters are this short... o.o;
| laSoldier chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
Well...I have to tell you what I think of the chapter, so here goes...
It was pretty good. :)
...although...the bold text all the way through the chapter hurt my eyes...
| lee chapter 6 . 1/27/2010
your also spelling orphanage wrong
| lee chapter 3 . 1/27/2010
your spelling weasley wrong
| ebdarcy.qt4good chapter 3 . 12/26/2009
Cute interaction between Jessie and Fred & George here. Some corrections to improve your story:
1)“Oh well here goes nothing.” - “Oh well, here goes nothing.” When you say the sentence out loud, you often pause after saying "Oh well". The pause is a good indication for putting in a comma or, in other instances, breaking it into two sentences.
2) Spelling correction: "CORUPPTING" should be "corrupting" with 2 r's and 1 p.
3) Word usage: "There mom scowled and walked away to Harry."
The word "there" means 'in or at that place' and refers to location; the word "their" is "a form of the possessive case of they used as an attribute adjective, before a noun" (dictionary. com). The word are pronounced identically, and thus can be confused in writing. I believe you meant to use "their" in the sentence above, since you are referring to the twins' mother.
4) Punctuation to separate sentences or ideas: “I’m Jessie Black what’s your name?” should be: “I’m Jessie Black. What’s your name?”
5) Ollivander did not mention that George Weasley was a twin, and when Jessie met Fred and George, their last name was not used. So how did she figure out the wand part? Meeting a boy named George at the train station doesn't make him the same George with a similar wand.
6) Finally, I think the twins' last name is spelt "Weasley", not "Weasly".
Just some corrections to think about to improve your writing. I hope they help!
| ebdarcy.qt4good chapter 2 . 12/26/2009
Relatively good story. What's Jessie's background? Is she Sirius' daughter?
Also, wouldn't it be more likely that Fred and George have similar wands?
Finally, I think you can work on some of your writing skills, such as the use of commas and dialogue punctuation. For example:
“Not now you certainly can’t but in a month or two maybe you can by him some more things.” Dumbledore reasoned.
This should be:
“Not now you certainly can’t, but in a month or two maybe you can buy him some more things,” Dumbledore reasoned.
(corrected spelling of by to buy)
There are several other examples, but I'm sure you get the idea. Have you tried a BETA reader? They're available on this website or go to PerfectImagination (they're really strict about who qualifies as a beta reader there, people have to take a test to qualify). Good luck!
| ShadowsMelodie chapter 18 . 9/21/2009
i love it, i just think up need to add more details, you know. you make it go awfully fast, when i want it to slow down and let them have time to think about details. other than that, i think that it is good. Oh, and the phoenix's name is Fawks, not fox. and since Jessie was with ron and Hermione, she should have won them some house points.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR PART 2!
| swear-on-the-moon chapter 16 . 9/16/2009
this is very good. keep writing!
| Bombora chapter 15 . 9/16/2009
it was cute! A bit shitty, yes, but WHO CARES! lol KEEP IT UP I LOVE IT!
| Bombora chapter 13 . 8/19/2009
| sirenblood chapter 12 . 8/6/2009
The story is quite nice, i can't wait to read the next chapter
| annie-lauren chapter 12 . 8/4/2009
This is so so good! I really love Jessie, she's such an awesome OC! Keep going, I can't wait to hear about her parents! ~annie