|Reviews for Fractured Wars|
| strabimonx chapter 1 . 5/6
nice next chapter please and have kurama and naruto have a father and son relationship
| gaara'sGurl101 chapter 1 . 12/26/2010
i like this
| shylavender chapter 1 . 12/4/2010
i really really REALLY! like this fic. so ya definatly gotta finish it!-
| kurokitsune666 chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Its a great story update soon!
| Shea Rya chapter 1 . 9/12/2009
I like this fanfic!keep up the good work.
| GintsukiKyu chapter 1 . 9/12/2009
Its a nice first chapter I hope you plan on writing next chapter soon.
| HolyKnight5 chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
Heh...the End of the Shinobi World...not with a bang, but on Darkness...their few counted strong souls scattered across the Worlds...
| chm01 chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
nice start but I wonder if he will get a keyblade.
| RogueNya chapter 1 . 7/31/2009
Well this is interesting to say the least, and wonder how this will turn out since I have never played Kingdom Hearts so I have no clue about what is going on in this story with that other character, but no matter still interesting.
| HiraHayami chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
Yay~! I like this, so please continue!
And I love Roxas in this. He's so emo, its cute!
| The Fallen Idol chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
Excellent job Silhouette. I'm glad such a talented author like yourself has adopted my story. The fight scene was a nice add. I apologize for taking so long to read this, but alas college is very demanding of my time. Good luck to you and have fun.
| UnknownFlux chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
I've been watching this story for a while, I'm sad Fsllen idol coulden't finish it,but I'm glad he gave it to someone else. i was always curious aas to how this would go. I hope you do a great job with it. I'll be looking out for the next chapter,Good Luck!:D
| HK-47 Scarlet chapter 1 . 6/23/2009
Yes, I really like this. Your prose is really good; 'The devil is in description' I was told once, and I must say you make really good use of that. I like how you set the mood in the beginning of the fic, and keep it consistent all the way to the end of the fic.
The fight scene was really good, I enjoyed it. I liked the part about Naruto burning the ANBU, really good. Also, the imagery you used when describing the rain evaporating on the chakra.
My favorite part: /Stepping out from a black portal, a blond looked around at the world. In truth, when he had come there a year ago, he had wished it to be the last time he'd see this place, but orders were orders. Being the number XI meant that he was at the bottom of the chain, and he'd have to accept jobs like this./
I'm familiar with Kingdom Hearts, but I can tell that if I wasn't you did a pretty decent job of explaining who Roxsas was without giving away TOO much. You explained his reason for being there clear and concise: He's on a mission.
/“Cultivate the land for hearts; let them be fed to Kingdom Hearts so we may be whole once more.” Those were the words of the Superior. Worrying his lip a bit, his blue eyes stared out from the hill he arrived on. Thunder was booming above him, and small fires were raging below, he could only let out a low sigh. This type of fighting gave results to the Organization... but it made him hate his work even more./
Here you did a good job of getting into slightly more details about his mission, while throwing in his actual feelings towards it.
/"Tch, might as well get this over with," waving a gloved hand, the nobody watched as Heartless began encircling him. "Go to them, and gather their hearts. Soon you'll be harvested."/
I liked that part because I pictured it perfectly; I love the way the Heartless make their entrance at the simple wave of a hand. Awesome.
/When he did get whole again, he'd be happy with just staying in one world, staying underneath the starry sky. But as the Superior put it, it'd be a long time before that.
He held his hand out for a few moments, letting the rain collect in the palm. It was cool and pleasant, as if he was holding his own heart within his grasp, but he did not. He was here on business, and nothing could dissuade him. It was just like a year ago, it was business and nothing else. Clenching his fist, he pulled it back to his side, pushing away any unwanted emotions.
"Just another world..." Backing away from the cliff, Roxas turned around and went deep into the forest./
Here, you showed the deeper side to Roxsas, which I also liked. It's a good way of letting a reader not familiar with KH get to know him a little bit more, I like that. You also once again made good use of imagery as well.
I loved the way you had the two 'meet'; it didn't seemed forced at all and felt perfectly natural.
All in all, great job. I knew you'd do good things with this fic and you've proven me right. I really look forward to reading more, and how this turns out.
| CaptainOfSquadZero chapter 1 . 6/22/2009
its a good starting point. you could take it many different ways, looking ford to future chapters.
| Myevltwin chapter 1 . 6/18/2009
Okay, awsome chapter. The fight was good. And I really mean that, even though it was rather short. Still, very interesting start.