|Reviews for Defining Harry|
| Billbrink chapter 1 . 11/22/2014
I love your writing, including this story. However the last paragraph seemed too abrupt of an ending. He has been taken out of his comfort zone as a favor for his friend (you didn't have him even thinking of her romantically), grilled by a stranger in a way that made him very uncomfortable, then suddenly he turns around kisses her! If you added a paragraph or two about why his feelings would suddenly change from friend to girlfriend, slowly bringing the tension up, it would make it a better read.
I hope you will continue to share your marvelous talent and finish your future Harry story. Thank you.
| YaGHeofttHaeLubvit216 chapter 2 . 11/9/2014
A good essay on a great (imagined) friend.
| The Ghostly Minion chapter 2 . 10/25/2014
Very very good. And how could there be anything but the most honest love between them.
I add completed stories to my favorites list, but they only stay if I like it well enough to read more than once. This one stays.
D. Page Robin
| MrRobertsIII chapter 2 . 7/6/2014
| godess bubbles chapter 2 . 4/19/2013
That was beautiful
| jupimako chapter 2 . 2/15/2013
| Ella1989 chapter 1 . 12/3/2012
It's a very beautiful story.
| The-Resident chapter 2 . 1/29/2012
I would like to see a chapter on Harry's reaction to the essay and (as I am a dyed-in-the-wool Harmonian) I would like to see their interaction afterward. Other than that, It's a fine story and essay.
| Miss Lalla chapter 2 . 6/24/2011
Sorry to say that, but that's one of the most soppy-sentimental stories I have ever read. It's just not something I can stomach and I'm glad you left it on just two chapters. I'm sorry, I don't want to be too harsh or unkind, but this story is just annoyingly fluffy and spill-your-guts-out style.
There are also technical issues. Campus? Lectures theatre? I don't believe you'll find such a thing in Oxford. The university buildings, colleges, parks, gardens and playing fields are scattered all over the city. There's no such thing as campus there.
The situation you describe (with the interview) would most probably happen in a sitting room or office of one of the dons (professors).
Another thing, psychology. I understand that you say it's an elective, but believe me when I say that even if Hermione was allowed to choose psychology, it would be something to do with criminal law, or something like that. Not some soppy-sentimental thing.
Which brings us to another matter. I just can't believe that an Oxford student would be required to write such a trifle piece. It sounds like a Common Entrance exam, not even that to be honest. Kids write something like that when they are seven (and they usually describe their parents, best friends or TV characters, too). Oxford hasn't dropped its standards so badly yet. At least I hope not.
Finally, there is a huge difference in meaning between 'principle' and 'principal', and 'quiet' and 'quite'. Do look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about. You used the wrong meaning in your story.
I'm sorry to have been so harsh. I didn't mean any offence and I hope you're not offended. I merely believe in constructive criticism:D
I wish you all the very best.
| aisling bolton chapter 2 . 6/14/2011
that story is brilliant it sums up harry perfectly
| Taylor1991 chapter 2 . 4/23/2011
Loved the essay. You wrote it as if you were Harry's bff. I could so totally see that you really got into Hermione's POV.
| Sciber Dude chapter 2 . 3/24/2011
Bravo! I love the essay!
| Celexs Draconia chapter 2 . 1/12/2011
This story is great. I have read it a few times now and each time it gets better. I really enjoy the fact that you took a shot at writing the essay as well that was a really good description of Harry's character and we written as well. Excellent work all in all.
| ARedHair chapter 2 . 12/27/2010
Nice interview and nice essay.
Portrays a positive view of Harry's character which Hermione very well might hold. I suspect some of his nobility was actually fallout from a poor self-image, but Hermione might well not recognize that and reasonably would not raise it in this sort of essay if she did.
| glistening moon chapter 2 . 8/5/2010
You did the essay brilliantly, it was like you actually knew him. Like you actually were Hermione.
Good story overall, i like your style of writing. :D