|Reviews for The Search for Life and Death|
| heronlove chapter 30 . 6/28
This was a great chapter. I was so sad about what happened to poor Harry. I was so happy that Remus and Sirius took Harry away. I loved what they did to the Dursleys. I am so proud of the way Ron and Hermione are standing by Harry through it all. I loved this chapter because I was wondering what was happening with Ron and his search. I wonder when Ron and Hermione will move from the friend zone? I love the level of maturity Ron is displaying and I would love to see that chess game because him and Minerva.
| ElfIcarii chapter 30 . 4/24
You now have me wondering about the result of a group of paintings who over the centuries became philosophers and began endlessly debating...Would certainly be educational for the students, but I wonder about the long-term results, given that the wizarding world seems to put a premium on NOT thinking too deeply about things...Also, one wonders what it does to the poor artists, knowing they're creating something sentient and that every mistake they make, every flaw in the painting, is going to be suffered eternally by their living creation...How could anyone capable of thinking and empathy bear to make a painting, knowing that? Hmm, maybe if the enchantment was a long-term thing, beginning with the initial sketch, so the artist could consult their creation about how THEY want to be, and help them to create themselves...now there's an intriguing thought...
Erm. The switching between present tense and past tense feels a bit awkward...
XD You might just warp the fabric of the universe, you know, adding another guilt-ridden hero to a canon already full of them. Even if it does add depth. And even if it does make some of your readers start crushing on Ron.
When a sibling plots, you should always be scared. Especially when they're a youngest.
You invent so many side characters...and do it so well...you realize, you will now have to properly introduce us to Ron's extended family, yes?
Of course Ginny's not going to be a cursebreaker. She's going to hide away on some tall tower somewhere where lightning flashes constantly, cackling madly with Hermione and inventing powerful and devious new spells with which to torment her brothers and the rest of the wizarding world.
Hmm. You seem to be making a point of them not dreaming. Ron now, Ginny last chapter.
Yet, you have him dreaming again a moment later. *pointed stare* You're trying to confuse us readers again, aren't you?
XD Duh, you're a knight because you wanted a shield, it fits your personality, and because you probably think of yourself as a knight-in-shining-armor on a regular basis. Gotta be careful in dreams, they like to take figures of speech literally.
Suuuure, keep that denial alive and well...
See, transfiguration's not so bad. You actually got interested there, whether you realized or not.
Careful Hermione XD He's not an idiot. Many more slips like that and he'll figure out something's up. 'Course, if his mind goes the wrong way, he might just get convinced you have a secret boyfriend and are pregnant, since you just told him you eat two breakfasts every day...
*laughs* Oh-ho! Evil sister of doom indeed!
I am continually delighted and mystified by the way you inject so much tone into the characters' words that I can hear them so very clearly in my head. Makes me want to try to turn your fic into an audiobook.
Ooo...I was always curious about wizarding careers, the books don't mention nearly enough of them to account for the population...
Typo - 'hadn't really looking' was probably meant to be 'hadn't really looked'
XD Methinks Hermione's now going to be spending some time thinking and reevaluating her opinions of Ron.
Harry Potter: Bounty Hunter...now there's a scary thought...
Maybe some indicator that that's a letter before you get to the end? The formatting is somewhat confusing...
You cut off the chapter THERE?! *twitchtwitchtwitch* *reminds self that if she strangles the author, she'll NEVER get to see what happens next*...*spazztwitch* You...and that clifffhanger...AUGH! Just please get the next one to us a little sooner? Pretty please? *brings out the puppydog eyes and a plate of caramel-filled fudgy cupcakes interspersed with miniature strawberry cheesecakes to add the power of a sugary bribe to the guilt-trip*
| Dreamt it chapter 9 . 3/30
i love this story ..its uniqe..,and u write very well
i hope you complete this
| Force Smuggler chapter 12 . 1/25
I lol'd at Remus having to have conversations with Sirius on how keeping Harry prisoner in the apartment for the rest of his life.
| ElfIcarii chapter 29 . 1/25
Interesting their reaction to the idea of a broken quantum lock, given how common a desire eternal youth is. I wonder if the TimeTurners are tracked so carefully because witches and wizards are liable to try to get locked in at their current age on purpose. You have effectively turned them into mini fountains of youth...
I thought the books mentioned others in her year? Or did you change that? Gah, it's been too long since I read the originals, and they're still packed so I can't doublecheck atm...
Typo found! "I make due" instead of "I make do".
Ooo, I spy a new OC...now officially curious about this 'Fay'!
Ah yes, lists. I can just see McGonagall being as list-happy as Twilight Sparkle.
Ooo, are you going to go into detail on Japanese magic? *puppy dog eyes*
Hmm. Interesting. *foresees a typically Hermione-obsessing hunt for Hermes*
Loving the details of Tonks' changing hair.
Wait. All that years-later stuff. I thought you said that Dumbledore's group's version of the potion ensured they came out unharmed? I feel like I'm misreading something again...
Wow. Never knew Ginny had our kind of imagination XD And was that meant to be a Doctor Who reference? ...oh great, now I'm feeling the urge to find a crossover fic where Ginny winds up as one of the Doctor's companions, which is problematic because I doubt such exists...*stares and attempts to hypnotize you into writing a short story along those lines*
Another typo - or missing word. I assume you meant something along the lines of 'her brother's retreating form', but you don't have a noun after 'retreating'.
XD Inspired by seeing Tonks in her dreams, was she?
Hmm. I don't remember mention of other trees in the previous version of this chapter, just her seeing Harry's.
*coughs* Harry the pirate. There's an interesting idea.
Hmm, interesting comparing the Cruciatus with grand mal seizures.
I had to go and compare to the AO3 version to make sense of that last scene...but in retrospect, it works as is here too, if the intent is to make the reader as muddled and confused as Ginny is after losing the memories.
| ElfIcarii chapter 28 . 12/10/2015
XD Looks like a lot of this is stuff you posted before again. I'd forgotten that you had the twins breaking the fourth wall, still get a kick out of that!
Hmm. I thought I remembered the twins thinking having 'Moody' as a teacher was awesome, in the books - deviating from canon on this one? Or was it a different older student who was talking about how awesome it was at mealtime and told them they'd have to wait and see?
Not pink gelatin? XD Since we're talking about Umbridge. I would think either bright pink gelatin or a comment on how the universe might explode if they gave her more pink.
Reserving comment on Neville's dad's death until I know more...but the article contradicts itself so much I don't understand how anyone could take the reporter seriously _ ()
'So very young'...you aren't going to turn this into a crossover and have her secretly be one of the Nox, are you? XD And even discounting Hermione in her distractions, how did everyone ELSE fail to notice a stranger in that getup? Strangers are rare and highly speculated upon at Hogwarts, and not EVERYONE would be absorbed by the article...unless said stranger is invisible to normal people and Hermione WOULD'VE been able to see them if she hadn't been distracted because of some side effect of time turner abuse?
'the other Hermione grabbed her hand'...right after that spiel on paradox...either things don't work the same way in that dream world/dimension/whatever or she just disproved the theory...
That was...weird. At first it seemed like she didn't remember anything about the dreamworld, then she reacted like she knew everything? For a minute there I even thought we'd switched which Hermione's perspective or something...Also, does a werewolf bite in the dream world infect you in the waking world? Since some things certainly do seem to transfer...
Ooo, so Ginny will now be joining Hermione on her commutes through time? (commutes seems a better word than trips since it's daily) I wonder if she will be a restraining influence or the one plunging ahead...
Awww, back to the next day already? I was hoping for another perspective on the runed-cloak guy...
Wow, Hermione really did something to Skeeter. Looks like there might actually be a good reporter's skills under all the pettiness. Also indicates that you have mastered more than one type of writing, since articles like that aren't the same category as novels _
Hermione better watch out, Skeeter will gain a broader and more intelligent following with articles like that, and will be better positioned to REALLY cause trouble as soon as she finds a way out from under what Hermione's got on her...
| scrappy8 chapter 28 . 12/9/2015
| ElfIcarii chapter 27 . 9/3/2015
I was looking forward to reading Neville's journey again! Aaaand...is it me, or did you change the ending? I swear I remember him taking it in the end last time...
Other than that, not much to say this time, since I'm fairly sure I said what I had to say the first time these scenes were up...
| scrappy8 chapter 27 . 9/3/2015
great chapter looking forward to the next one
| scrappy8 chapter 26 . 8/24/2015
| Son of Whitebeard chapter 26 . 8/24/2015
nice seeing kingsley and amelia
| fons19 chapter 26 . 8/24/2015
harry should be able to play and he needs to work harder in order to bond with his cat and once that happens then maybe he can use her a little for detection of the bludgers sothat he can get to the snitch
| Midoriryu chapter 26 . 8/24/2015
If I were to comment on the story as a whole, I would say that it seems to be going really slow. However that could be an artifact of the pacing of chapter posting, and not the pace of the story itself. That is not a complaint, merely an observation.
Was the baka neko written that way deliberately as a joke, or a typo of bakeneko? If the former, that's absolutely hilarious, if the later you might want to fix it.
I'm curious as to what factors are inhibiting Harry from bonding with the cat. Are factors such as age, state of mind, and knowledge involved.
Also was Zinnia's comment about them developing psychic abilities off hand, or deliberate either inside or outside the fourth wall so to speak?
| ElfIcarii chapter 26 . 8/23/2015
Conjured up a record player? Wouldn't the magic mess up the technology? THough perhaps that's why it's a record player and not a CD player or mp3 player...indications in the books seemed to be that the less advanced the technology the more cooperative it was...Hmm. Come to think of it, they use radios, don't they...I wonder where the line is drawn?
Ah. Then you explain how it's possible a couple paragraphs later. Hmm. How much of an understanding is necessary? Would a wizard need effectively a degree in electrical engineering to conjure, say, a cellphone? Clearly there is a point of diminishing returns where it is easier to either invent a spell to do the same thing as the technology, or buy the muggle version and try to juryrig a way to get it to work in magical areas...
Sounds like it's time for Sirius to take up painting XD Slapping gobs of acrylic on a wall should help let loose some of that nervous energy. I can just see, Lupin gets back, opens the door and is seized and shaken and informed in desperate tones that if he EVER leaves Sirius alone and locked up in the silence for that long again, he's liable to return to either a destroyed building or a corpse.
Sorry, this is a short review for me, but I admit all the fires have me a little smoke-addled. Thinking is difficult. Which will be interesting with classes starting up tomorrow...anyway, with regard to what we'd like to see more of, the instant response is EVERYTHING! But of course you know that XD But the problem is, while I'd love to see more of your treatment of 'minor' characters (like Amelia and Kingsley), I don't want the main characters to get neglected either (you do fascinating things with their minds too!), so it really does translate to 'everything'. You are going to have a time and a half finding a way to end this story (I include any sequels in 'this story', just as Wheel of Time is all one story but many books) that is a good ending and still manages to not leave me going 'more more more got to find more how do you find a fanfic of a fanfic aaahhhhhhh!'. So yeah. Just keep writing it I guess, and don't get tired of it halfway through like Rowling? XD
On a side note, I have been having a frustrating problem, in that I was hoping to offer to do you a 'book cover' for this fanfic as practice and/or an example sometime soon...but you can't get the feel of the cover right if you haven't read the whole book (too many things that could be misinterpreted). Sooo I just thought I'd mention these plans of mine in case it might act as incentive/inspiration for you to write faster! XD
| ElfIcarii chapter 25 . 7/5/2015
Prepare for a long rambling review of doom. I am half asleep, but cannot leave this until morning, and you know how my thoughts leap on tidbits in your writing and charge down rabbit-trails when I'm tired. So fair warning.
Hmm. The holding-back thing is actually not uncommon. Not always because of parents - growing up, I knew any number of kids who noticed that the kids who excelled at studies, or who admitted to enjoying reading, tended to be frowned upon by their peers, so pretended to be dumber or to 'not care' in order to get respect. For the parents angle, one kid in my class in elementary school had a father who quite literally hated smart people - and the kid was bright. So he hid it by pretending he couldn't read. I doubt most of my classmates of the time know he was pretending even now; I know because my mom was volunteering to help the 'slower' kids with their reading, and she managed to pry him out of that with a book that aligned with his interests. He still hid it, still got poor grades even in HS, but after that he was different - or seemed so to me, anyway. He seemed to have a look like he was just waiting for his chance. I suspect he took off 'for the stars' as soon as he moved out of his parents' house.
Hmm. I swear, in some ways being socially oblivious can be a boon. I didn't notice the other kids' reactions growing up, so didn't stop trying to make friends, and managed as a result to find at least one person in each period of my life who was intrigued by my ideas and fascination with the world. It sounds like Hermione wasn't that lucky. Heh. Caused me other problems later though. Since I couldn't pick up on social context well from those around me, I tried to learn it from the interactions of characters in books (because a lot of them EXPLAIN the thoughts behind the actions/words), and since many of these were fantasy books, my dad thought I was thinking that the books were real because I kept referencing them...and banned me from reading them completely one summer as a last ditch effort before sending me to a shrink (which he never had to because I was able to explain what was really going on eventually. Once I figured out the ban wasn't just because he disapproves of the genre - which he does.) I DO value my few friends every bit as highly as Hermione though, especially since, as an adult, I figured out just how lucky I am to have them.
...Wow. I warned for rambling, and here I've barely started reading the chapter and see how far down the rabbit trail my mind went...I blame your writing of Hermione. You're making her sound too much like me in this chapter. It's hauling up memories.
Of course they don't want to see it. No-one ever does. Very few people are willing to acknowledge seeing such things because if they do they have to acknowledge they should have done something and that makes them feel guilty and cowardly. There are some who don't know the signs, but more who refuse to see them, and some who see them but don't know how to help because of the horror stories of people trying to help a kid in an abusive situation and just making it worse.
I wonder sometimes how many people realize that most of the traits associated with a good leader and 'hero' are usually ones that come from surviving and pulling through abusive or otherwise traumatic circumstances...
I love that you threw in the little details of how their social routine and habits have changed and adapted. It helps complete the picture.
I also love that you stuck with Rowling's tradition of indicative naming schemes for minor character witches and wizards...
I like the realism that there wouldn't be just one sensationalist reporter in the wizarding world.
Multiple thoughts and questions popped up with the time turner. Waiting to end of scene to comment because they might be resolved...
Hermes. Is it a coincidence that they're names for the greek messenger god? Who is also god of thieves etc? I rather doubt it. You don't do coincidence. Your story is far too fun to metagame, all these little hints you drop...And of course since at the moment I am reading the Percy Jackson books (at the insistence of several people who know me), I might be mixing up actual mythology with what is stated there, especially this late/early, so refraining on further speculation on that atm.
Mercury too? Oh my. Definitely no coincidence. Though I suppose they could be code names, relating to their duties.
XD Clearly, SOMEONE was interfering with her life to keep the timeturner in her hands. THe same mysterious nameless someone sticking their fingers and advice in through this whole story, perhaps?
Hmm. I wonder if the magic of the timeturner is in itself addictive, and that is part of the reason for the restrictions...Unfortunately, given that it is Hermione using it, and she is likely to find the learning alone plenty addictive, it's hard to tell.
She's not in Ravenclaw for much the reason Harry's not in Slytherin, I expect.
I like how she always does the distasteful things first and THEN the fun stuff as 'future Hermione'. Good self discipline. A valuable skill.
Easy to doubt your own memory later, when you have nothing to verify it.
Hmm. It seems the timeturner focus is over for now, and one of my questions wasn't answered after all, unless it was mentioned previously in another chapter and I've forgotten, but I don't think that's the case. Is there something in the timeturner magic to prevent aging of the wearer while it's in use? While it wouldn't be as noticeable in someone in their 20's or 30's, Hermione is a teenager. From the sound of it she's done at LEAST several months extra time with all the back-and-forth, possibly a year or two, and that would have her growing up significantly faster than her peers - but no-one's mentioned it. So...is everyone just oblivious, or does the timeturner prevent excess aging due to the longer period of subjective time (making the user effectively immortal, but limited in how far forward in time they can go, up to their death), or was this just something you didn't think about? XD
Just like Hermione, not accepting 'no' for an answer. I wonder what all she'll try to force the ability to remember...
'Unexpected side effects' indeed. Poor Lupin.
Erm. That's...a lot of text. *eyes scroll bar* Hope you don't mind this rambling essay of a review...