Reviews for Revision
DarkBeta chapter 5 . 3/28/2010
perfect wrap up, with Sam to the rescue! well, yes, it is time for Mac to give over some of the fighting, before his knees go. (did he *ever* figure out how to punch someone without wincing and shaking his hand out after?)

The Legions of YAFOD! *snerk* that'd be a great story: an extended episode told thru the viewpoints of all the old friends Mac keeps dropping in on or calling with odd requests! "Remember that district governor you said you stayed with in Outer Mongolia?" "You wouldn't happen to have a left-handed widget around the garage still?" "Mind if i leave this helicopter in your hay barn a couple days?"

thank you for a wonderful story, as usual!

db
DarkBeta chapter 4 . 3/28/2010
understated scene - very understated - but, oh, Sara!

. . . and now the real villains show up.

"MacGyver, run!" Y'know, i'm not at all sure that's going to do any good.

with anticipation,

db
DarkBeta chapter 3 . 3/28/2010
Mac in aviator glasses, halfway between intruders and Sam - on guard. I can *so* see that scene!

"Uh, no. Whaddya mean?" And can you put it in words of one syllable, please?

'Indian time.' Defensive teenager . . . & right after Mac was congratulating himself on avoiding that with Sam.

My nephew's doing the college thing. Sigh. Where's that Phoenix number?

And now the emotional center of the story. Solving Joseph's problem is important, but figuring out how to balance family and individuality - that's the tough one.

hoping for the best,

db
DarkBeta chapter 2 . 3/28/2010
"For such a small family, we sure have a lot of relatives." Sam, you ain't seen nothing yet!

"Mom, Dad, Harry; you all win." In other words, the parents' curse: 'May you have children just like *you*!'

"If he's gonna beat you, i'll help you hide." . . . and the plot thickens.

wonderful characterization, and character introduction.

gratefully,

db
DarkBeta chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
I do love Pete. No, i think i love *your* Pete. You make me take a closer look at a character that could just slide past on the sidelines.

"MacGyver! Where are you? Are you all right? What happened?" Oh, what a Dad! Pete's emotional ambiguity is so touching; he wants what's best for Mac (and Sam), but he also wants Mac back home!

"You never have before." Burn!

"Way too late, Pete! We did that yesterday!" Sigh. I never had that much energy to burn; i certainly don't now!

"It just sits there and lets you pick your shot. And it never complains afterward that you got its bad side." ("Really, don't you think my *north* face has more drama?" "No, no, darling. Too, too trite!") It's great to see Sam comfortable enough with Pete to actually be willing to ask him for something!

"Oh, we've got a cure for youth . . . . It's too damned slow to be of any help." Favorite line.

"He gets bored too quickly to go on sulking." You mean it's not good nature, it's short attention span? (In the novel "The Mouse That Roared", one character discusses American policy toward former enemies as forgive and forget, and sometimes they forget before they forgive.)

Interesting how the viewpoint starts switching from Pete toward Mac&Sam . . . .

Poor Mac; no ice hocky champ in the next generation! Sam doesn't like the cold? Horror! If they can be silent together tho' . . . there's probably not much to worry about.

"Three dads all lecturing you at once - no wonder you didn't want to tell me!"

". . . the need to hire a real plumber when things break down." Ah, he *knows* why he's so popular! (Blushes at being found out.)

"Um . . ." Knew it!

Thank you for a very sweet, very in-character Mac and Sam and Pete story!

gratefully,

db
Magnavox23 chapter 5 . 1/25/2010
I adored this from beginning to end hon, it was like reading an episode. I particularly enjoyed your take on Native American issues and can tell you've done alot of research to use those issues in such a respectable and responsible manner. Thankyou.
Unseen Watcher chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
I like your style of writing and how you portray the characters so well. Have you ever thought of a SG1/Macgyver crossover. There are way too few of those, and many of them are sad to say the least. It may hit too close to cliche, but I like them. Think you could do it? It could be a Jack as Mac, a Jac and Mac relative thing (brothers, cousins, etc.) which I admit I prefer, or whatever strikes your fancy. Any plot ideas spring to mind?
bizzy chapter 5 . 9/26/2009
Nice! Finally, a good writer who doesn't write MarySues or romance stories. This is the kind of Mac fic that echoes the feel of the show. I'm off to read more of your work. Hope you keep writing!
DieAstra chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
It's been a while since I finished reading this, but always was too lazy to log in for a review. Sorry.

The one thing that still sticks out for me after all this time - aside from the action and the plot, which were well done as always - are the few lines which I always will remember, about that Mac feels different now, with Sam there, and becoming more cautious, and that Sam's mother had a reason to keep her son away from his father.

Because, you know, I always was angry at her, to take from him the chance to decide himself, to see his son growing up. I didn't understand how she would keep such an important thing from him. But I never realized how much it would have changed his life style, and that he might not anymore have been able to do the things he loved to do.

So thank you for at least giving me a reason after all those years.
Taryn Streambattle chapter 4 . 9/13/2009
AWesome!

THough please cut down on the cussing if my dad sees this I am DEAD
Isis the Sphinx chapter 5 . 9/12/2009
I saw the LOLMac stuff and I can't explain why I'm laughing so hard to my parents.

Cool story. Stuff with Sam is interesting. Keep writing!
Unseen Watcher chapter 5 . 8/15/2009
Very well put together story. I could see the characters clearly, you made them believable and enjoyable, and highlighting their quirks and what we like best about them. It's a story that's going to be very fun to reread, which is too rare. A very good job.
Niente Zero chapter 5 . 8/9/2009
And just like that you wrap it all up in a tidy bundle. I am wowed by your ability to do so.

I totally and completely loved Sam's fighting ability. Oh, YEAH! I know, I know. I'm easily pleased. But that was a delight, beautifully described. All that power and economy. MacGyver has a competent child! Hurrah! And picking the locks, and the bit about "I guess you already know that, huh?" What a perfect moment of action-hero bonding.

For all I love your ability to tell a resonant and convincing story with great social justice themes and a lovely overarching emotional journey, I will flat out admit that the pure action gems keep me coming back for more. That you're able to pack all those things into a story is just ... bam!

Great descriptive writing as usual. The gun in the fire was fantastic. The understated discussion of the second gun, and sounding like a firing squad, Sam's mental note of that - beautiful. There was a live wire tension that crackled all through the denouement of the story and every word was really well chosen to keep the tension alive.

I am glad that Cooper was ultimately redeemed, and Wyo has the potential for redemption. (Although, you're making me think back to my 12th grade English teacher and harping on redemption through suffering... Cooper's arc was nicely handled. Even if it was somewhat owie.)

Great structure to the story. I know I faved it early just because I was in love with the one chapter, but the entire thing was very satisfying and rich. Of course, as usual, I'm sad that we're all done now!
Kippling chapter 5 . 8/9/2009
wow, that was so excellent, I am speechless!...which isn't going to feed the muses very well, so I will give this a try. I really appreciate the way you get into the father/son stuff, the gentle strain that Sam is now feeling between his carefully cultured independance and his connection to his Dad. I like the voice you've found for Sam; it feels quite right. And I love the ways you have them discover things about eachother and their different - and not so different- pasts as the story unfolds. And also again, I love the layers of detail in the writing style and plots that you develop; always good to hear bits of Ruth, and Helen, et al! Keep up the good work! (:D preferably on another Mac/Sam story!)
Niente Zero chapter 4 . 8/9/2009
I confess. I don't even know where to start with this chapter! There's so much in it that's great. I guess the part that hit me hardest was the revelation of Sara's FAS. It's such a moment that sums up the worst of all her possible bad luck. She never really had a chance.

I'm going to come across all bleeding-heart-liberal when I say that even though I don't care for Wyo and Coop, and they've made their own bed, at the same time, it's hard for me not to feel compassion about the choices that have come their way too. Again, it's coming from a place where the only way not to end up screwed is to leave- Joseph's way up is to get out. That's a whole lot of tragedy. Having said that, you've walked a great fine line as far as I'm concerned, because I do see them as individuals who have made bad choices. You've written them so it's possible for me to sympathize with the circumstances at the same time as finding their actions abhorrent. (And nicely individualized them, too. I'm not sure which of them I find more tragic. Probably Coop.)

Joseph's great. He's the kind of cagey, wary, street-smart (or hill-smart) teen one would expect in an actual MacGyver episode, and his wistful witnessing of the connection between Sam and Mac is lovely. It goes without saying that I love seeing Sam be protective of Mac, too.

All that and gadgetry and really bad bad guys, (corrupt forest ranger!) and heroism! What more could one possibly ask?
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