|Reviews for Titan of the Future|
| Dragonball X Avalon chapter 8 . 2/1/2014
Great story update soon
| asm613 chapter 4 . 9/29/2012
Can't tell you too much about how these things go. Might change the future, and I'd like to still exist when I get back."
you've already had him tell them who his parents are- it would be ez for dick to decide he didn't want this kid and promise himself never to even look at power girl- then poof- bye bye future nightwing
and wonder girl and supergirl are old ladies in his time and he called super girl his aunt- but now you have him wanting to be their sex slaves and vice/versa
that's f'd up shit
i like time travel stories and alternate versions of people stories- but this chapter was a bit juvenile
| Theopholos Whenntooda chapter 8 . 9/1/2012
Very fascinating story. I love the premise, and the action certainly picked up after the first few chapters... but I kinda think you rushed it. I dunno, even if there was proof that this guy came from the future, I'd be pretty suspicious. The Titans and pretty much everyone was waaaaay too trusting. Aside from that, Redwing is a nice identity. I'll be stealing that(although not Bruce Grayson). He seems like too much a smartass, but seeing where he's coming from(literally), I guess that way he doesn't come unglued. Shades of Gar Logan in the 80's New Teen Titans. The Amazon attack was amazing. Hmm... that was a redundancy. Anyway, looking forward to seeing it finished!
| ikcjjt chapter 8 . 6/6/2012
this story is really fun. :D
| anon chapter 4 . 6/1/2012
Slade did say making his children hate him so the Titans would trust them and give them the home he couldn't, the show made him a bwahaha villain and sadly the comics followed suit before he had a code of honor not acting against U.S. interests unless his family is threatened
The best and brightest will elevate themselves above the common man it's nature, best for the species, it improves the standard of living for the human race as a whole, as long as they don't kill anyone or otherwise actively opppress free trade and enterprise is the only thing that has ever led to long lasting meaningful peace
| The Tell-Tale Man chapter 8 . 6/1/2012
That chapter you wrote was just great so please keep up the next chapter of this story.
| WonderBoy-Earth-69 chapter 1 . 6/12/2011
| Kain Vanyel chapter 7 . 2/17/2011
Redwing is such a sweet name.
| ecrm chapter 5 . 4/2/2010
I'm enoying this story so far, time travel is always such an interesting story point as it can lead to practically anything. I'm very happy to see Gemini though, I've always been a fan of stretchy/shifter characters (especially villains). Hopefully she'll turn up again in later chapters?
| anon chapter 7 . 3/26/2010
I will always prefer villains who at least have a point and frighteningly may even be right about everyone being better off under their benevolent dictatorship (of course make education great so the common man does know what is best for him and his children's children and democratic republicanism can work) like Ra's al Ghul if the environment isn't brought into balance no matter the means or cost the future for the human race will be worse than any dystopian fiction and will lead to the extinction of the human race not through misadventure but suicide through stupidity or Lex Luthor who as he says if he was calling all the shots could end famine and cure cancer and he could his mind is capable of anything perhaps give everyone ultra high-tech non polluting technology and maybe even superpowers lead humanity and the rest of the universe to unimaginable glory remember Red Son he united all humanity and led us to a golden age that lasted millions of years
A lot of villains seem unaware that if they used their mind and/or other talents for legitimate business causes or the government could be far more profitable than any crime spree
Of course vigilantes can be sanctimonious hypocrites judging others and letting themselves go unscrutinized condemning others when they do the same thing for less reasons I think it is disgusting they don't share their scientific breakthroughs with the scientific specifically medical community or their skills with law enforcement agencies far more good than beating up thugs and psychos fight crime at its source ignorance and poverty. I realize due to rarity and complexity mass production may not always be possible or at least cost effective and due to difficulty not all could take brutal training but a little bit could go a very, very long way. The ability to think of future generation when calculating pragmatic utilitarianism is what separates us from the animals. The world is not the way it is because of thugs and psychopaths, corrupt businessmen/politicians (which contrary to fiction are the exception not the rule) but because most people are too stupid to know what is best for them the extreme left and extreme right get caught up in their ideals and refuse to acknowledge brutal facts of reality no real world understanding of the extreme complexities of politics, economics, technological logistics, and how they’re all interconnected in the long run. People want everything right here right now the whole world just handed to them on a silver platter think just by complaining something will happen without a tangible plan. Such a plan will require a lot of long, hard, boring work all day every day for generations.
I'm glad the government has Suicide Squad, Cadmus, Checkmate, the Elite, Amanda Waller, and the new female Spy Smasher, I'd include the Secret Six but I think from now on even if they're not going to be full fledged villains they stood up to the worse villains and are pure mercenaries I think
Have you heard of The Boys
| Saffire55 chapter 4 . 1/29/2010
SOS! SOSSAVE OUR SAFFIRE! I am totally confused! Help me, explain or something because I don't get it! I think this is from the comic books but, I love Teen Titans but I never read the comics so I am confused! Anyway, besides me being confused, AWESOME STORY! Make more chapters please!
| Taylahbob chapter 5 . 1/1/2010
I liked this chapter.. it was fun :D
And yay for saving Bart XD
| Wildcard999 chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
It’s good to see that you know how to introduce new information indirectly, like when you introduced Nightwing’s son as having shapeshiftering abilities. It’s often the most effective way to say something. I’d like to see you do that more.
You are one of the few people I’ve seen with problems with your basic writing skills, yet can actually wrap up their story without it sounding like an afterthought. I could tell near the end of the conversation that you were wrapping things up, and you ended it with an implication that there’s still more to the story. That is tough for a lot of people to figure out how to do, especially when they are fairly new to writing.
This is a pretty interesting idea. I love time travel—always—and parallel universes are always a bonus. Although, I’m curious to know if you ever considered the fact that for all this kid knows, he could have appeared in an alternate timeline where the Titans are evil.
Okay, great start—until you start describing the people. Way, way too long. Pick the most important feature on each and mention that, then expand upon it later, or just say it’s Batman and whoever.
/the younger man, barely a man at that, asked./
Little segues like that ought to be written more like ‘the younger man—barely a man at that—asked’ to show you interrupted yourself.
/ to go backwards or forwards in time/
Sometimes simplicity is best. It’s much easier to just say ‘time travel’. I’m noticing a pattern with your overly-complicated descriptions. This is going to make it hard for me to understand you.
/ It especially helped that Selina Kyle, the original Catwoman, had taught him everything he knew about stealthy entrances and exits./
It’s not always best to say everything right at the first opportunity. Like with the fact that Batman is the old Nightwing and the name of his apparent son, sometimes it’s information that’s better left for later. It’s enough to know that he’s athletic. We don’t need to know anything about Catwoman until he starts breaking into really high-security places with ease or just starts reminiscing/ranting about what happened when they were training.
/ The young man looked at Batman askance./
Oh, that is awful. It’s nice to use uncommon words, but this doesn’t work. I think ‘gave him a sidelong glance’ would work much better. Try using the names of things, rather than describing what they look like. You’re coming off really confusing when you do this.
Try not to use bland verbs so much. I can see you have a lot of them. Went, looked, did, etc. are all very weak verbs. They are also extremely general and undescriptive, thus telling us practically nothing about what is going on. It’s better to show us what is happening and how people are feeling by using verbs that reflect their emotional state or manner. ‘Looked at’ could mean a lot of things, but ‘shot a glare’ means anger and ‘glanced at’ means unconcerned or not seeing as important. Learning how to say more in less words will really help your fic, because right now there is almost no non-dialogue characterization because almost none of the verbs you’ve chosen show what the characters are feeling.
Seeing words like ‘meters’ and ‘uni’ that are indicative of countries other than the one your fic is set in is very jarring. Even in the prose. I wrote a fic that was partially set in England from an English perspective, so I wrote everything with a British vocabulary, even checking with a British beta to make sure I didn’t miss any American terms.
Cyborg’s ‘cannon arm’ is called a Sonic Cannon.
I get the feeling you don’t really have a clear idea of how to introduce information and move a story forward. You seem to be guessing and hoping it works. You know what you want to have happen, but when it comes to putting it into words, you seem unsure. You might try practicing a series of independent scenes so you get a better idea of how to start a story, then work on moving forward from that later.
/Nightwing sighed. “It’s actually quite pointless for us to fight each other over a misunderstanding like this. If you’ll bring me to the other Titans and allow me to explain myself, you might see that I mean you and your team no harm.”
Cyborg’s sensors told him that Nightwing was telling the truth and he lowered his cannon arm./
…Yeah right. Give me a break. A) No member of the Batclan is going to be trained to put that much trust in camaraderie. B) No Titan in their right mind is going to bring a stranger that just broke in the entire team without a fight. For all Cy knew, the kid could’ve been rigged to explode. He’d want the kid to do some convincing first. C) The kid comes off sounding like an arrogant jerk. No way Cyborg would take that. He’d want to push for a fight just on principle. D) The whole thing just feels thrown together like you didn’t even think about it.
/ I’ll keep that to myself for now, since I don’t want to risk altering the timeline…/
Hate to break it to you, but been there, done that. Just telling them that he is Nightwing’s son and that his dad is the new Batman has done that. I don’t think you understand the ramifications that can come from something as minor as telling a person where their life is going. Nightwing could get so pissed off about becoming the future Batman that he gets into a fight with Bruce that ends up so big that his future self decides to leave Bruce high and dry when he decides he needs a successor.
And he pretty much screws Gotham. And that’s not even counting the sequence of events that could lead to Nightwing not being in the right place when he meets his son’s mother, thus resulting in the kid not even being born. Or being born someone else. Try to remember the butterfly effect. Screw with time and you can drastically change things a mere five months down the line.
/ “Wow, so you’re a cyborg like Cyborg, only more advanced!”/
You’d think Cyborg would be pretty pissed about that.
All in all, I get the distinct feeling that this mystery kid is a total Gary Stu. No one is acting right around him and he’s pretty much being accepted instantly by everybody. It’s unrealistic.
| jeramy chapter 4 . 10/27/2009
awesome write more
| Taylahbob chapter 4 . 9/9/2009
Argh! You have me addicted to this fic :P It's awesome! I realy like new Nightwing, or "Future Boy" :P ... Can't wait to see what hapens next and find out who this Jonathan Kent II kid is ... but I think I have a fair idea ... maybe