|Reviews for Scorpion's Disciple|
| Hinatafan213 chapter 13 . 23h
Go fucking fuck yourself! You killed Hinata! You bastard! She was my mothafucking favorite character and you just KILL HER?! I'll fucking murder you! Die, you bastard!
| ChimamireNoBara22 chapter 15 . 9/20
This fic was truly amazing. Thank you for putting the summary at the end instead of simply leaving it as it was. It gave me the closure I needed :) Great job and good luck on your future endeavors!
| Guest chapter 15 . 8/18
It's a really good plot and story. Hate that you didn't finish it and that there is no sequel to it. It could have been one of the 'greats' with a little tweaking. Some grammar issues, but you know that. But even with the issues in grammar and a little in word tense; it was still a good read, and the plot and story was good enough that'd you'd read past the mistakes. Maybe in the future you'll overhaul it or something. It's always nice to read over your past works to see how far you've come
| nubicks chapter 15 . 7/29
Oh my gosh, I read this a long time ago and its still so good.
| Anoneme chapter 15 . 6/14
I have to say that I am both happy and impressed that there is an ending to your story despite not being able to write it all out. It was still satisfying to come to the conclusion, which means it was a well done summary too.
| Valiryo chapter 3 . 6/5
i was enjoying this fic up until this chapter, the change in Naruto happened far too quickly and suddenly.
| InArduisFidelis-RAMC chapter 13 . 5/24
Well that came out of nowhere
| Discordmaru chapter 14 . 5/23
I really wish someone would continue this. Pure love, so original.
| Guest chapter 15 . 5/21
Man, you butchered the hell out of everyone character in these last few chapters.
Neji, Killing Hinata! Now Way that would ever happen, he hates the clan and not Hinata. Also Hinata even standing an inch up to Neji is unbelievable, I know it's an AU but Neji was a prodigy , he was the only one in the entire clan ( albeit later on ) who could do the 128 palm. He would have destroyed Hinata.
Neji was extremely loyal to the LEaf and the Hyuga, saying that he would betray the village is like saying Hinata would kill Naruto. That's just plain WRONG!
Hinata having the guts to ask naruto out? What the Heck were you thinking? No way that would happen, stop slaughtering the character of so many good people. HInata dying, like dude that should not have bloody happened because
a) Jiraya, a bloody Sannin could have easily stopped Neji, even if he didn't think he going to kill her. I mean JIraya is a Sannin surely he' seen many Hyuga use that techinique in the war and wouls have stopped it.
b) Kakahi with his super-cool-slow-motion-Sharingan was there, he could have clearly seen Neji going for the kill and could have stopped her.
Itachi's tsukuyomi is not going to be broken by some dumb mindscape thing. Itachi didn't even use magekyo to cast a genjutsu on genjutsu-expert-Kurenai ( in cannon ) and she got subdued. KAkashi couldn't stop the tsukuyomi, WITH a sharingan ( and unactive at that time mangekyo ) himself. NAruto when Itachi put the crow in him was wrecked by a small sharingan genjutsu in cannon, Itachi is like the king of genjutsu, much like Gai is good at taijutsu, Itachi is that far out great in genjutsu. Don't you dare insult his strength like that.
Like you ruined a great story by buthcering everyone in the end. UNtill the last few chapters thiswas my favourite fanfiction. I'm sorry but you killed it.
| Guest chapter 15 . 5/18
So cold stopping like that, but very good story
| Annab23 chapter 15 . 4/17
Wow this is really good. I love how you develop Naruto's powers and skill's. It's so rare to see him as a medic ninja. You even kept his personality similar and explained differences well. I also agree completely with was 'scrandle' ,who reviewed before me said. I'm so glad you left a summary of what you would of written. It's not the real thing, but at least you didn't leave us hanging. Thank you for the effort you put into this.
| scrandle chapter 14 . 3/31
This is an amazing story, and I'm happy that you managed to finish what you did, almost to the end. The fight scenes were really well done, you gave good insight into characters we don't often get to see, but most importantly was that Naruto progressed to be pretty OP in an entirely reasonable matter, with believable consequences (like how team seven can't stand each other). There was no immediate character change, and he still kept most of his old character traits, such as his complaining and nicknames. The writing was original and creative amongst the numerous Strong!Naruto fics out there. You made interesting and readable, and there were many points in the fics where I thought, 'damn, that's awesome.' I mean, at the same time, how likely is it that Naruto could kill one of Kakuzu's hearts as a fresh genin. It's very OP if you think about it, but at the time I really didn't care because there was such crazy shit going down involved with the plot that I just thought 'fuck yeah' and kept on reading. Anyways yeah, cool fic, sorry it's not done but I enjoyed the road anyways and I am satisfied with the summary.
| scrandle chapter 3 . 3/27
Your explanation of taijutsu is the best, and most reasonable I've seen in fanfiction.
| pikupstix chapter 15 . 3/8
How do you write a story to this level of proficiency in plot structure and character development and literary articulation, and then have such a woeful grasp of grammar and spelling? The whole fic seems to be un-betaed, despite your periodic comments in the author's notes, with a myriad of silly little errors popping up in each chapter. Lose vs loose, too vs to, they vs the, his vs him... It's incredibly sloppy. Additionally, your grasp on tenses seems fundamentally flawed. The story is largely written in past tense, but every now and then you throw in a bit of present tense, as if to throw off the reader. The rest of the writing is clean, and at times humorous and witty, but these first-grade snags really impinge on the reader's enjoyment. An easily curable stain, in my opinion, but I suppose if it has stood this long without change, then my comments are unlikely to make any headway.
Outside of such superficial flaws, I had few complaints. The largest of which was that Sasuke was treated a bit unfairly. He (and Neji too, though with less screen-time the effect was not as pronounced) was not given much character to work with, beyond that of a caricature of a petulant child. People like Shino and Kakashi had depth on a level that didn't exist in canon, yet you intentionally held Sasuke back, never giving him a chance to redeem himself. I was resigned from early on to him being canon fodder; I never had hope for his redemption as a character, because it had become clear to me that the author cared nothing for him personally and would reduce him to a mere obstacle for which the protagonist was destined to surpass.
Otherwise, a good read. A shame it was abandoned. I would have liked to see the last few chapters played out for real.
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/1