|Reviews for Scorpion's Disciple|
| Pein247 chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Great chapter love the ending such suspense I hope Naruto becomes a missin-nin and then turns Mizuki in to his first human puppet for revenge that would be so funny. I can't help but wonder what Kabuto is teaching Naruto or what Sasori has been up to since Naruto wasn't around. Hope you update soon can't wait for the next chapter and all it's horror.
| KitsuneNaru chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Love it. FUnny how Ino had went to Anko and Gai. :D
| andy132 chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Well this was a very interesting chapter probaly the best yet, I like your version of the academy as it makes to much sense not to be true. I wonder how Gai going to handle all these students asking for his help when he's already a Jounin-sensei ah I'll probaly thinks it's another challenge he must master. I am a bit confused as to why the third after taking away his teachers would immediately give him another one as a punishment it just seems to condradict itself.
Even putting that aside how come if Naruto's only real teachers are Sasori and Kabuto they seem to get hardly any screen time with Naruto especially Kabuto. It seems more like your turning Naruto in to a jack of all trades with no weaknesses rather than what your first few chapters suggested. It sounds like a solid combination with his main skill being puppets and poisons with seals to help plus chakra scapels for anyone who gets past his puppets.
Intresting choice for Naruto's puppet though I was slightly disappointed that you didn't go in to more detail about it or how he finally mastered creating chakra strings as it's always interesting to see how Naruto becomes a puppet master. I never imagined in being a snake as it hardly seems his style, I would of imagined something larger and with arms so he could hide loads of nasty traps and poisons as he loves surprises and being a prankster I would of thought hidden weapons would be right up his alley. I do think Naruto is handing out all his training information a bit too losely as anyone who ask seems to get an answer even though Sasori teaching him how to hide info plus if Naruto wasn't permitted to a private teacher why is every other student going to Gai for help when it's clearly not aloud.
But what I enjoyed the most was Sasori's offer at the end as most of my favourite fics are when Naruto leaves the village. It's always alot more interesting than the cannon but unfortunately not many authors can actually get away with it as iy does require a vivid imagination plus a good stroyline as Naruto always as to end up back at the village in the end.
Anyway keep up this amazing story plus this incredible speed you update in so in a bit.
| The Leper King chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Another great chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing more. One thing though, it's not yuken, it's Jūken(or just juken if you're lazy). Just thought I'd point that out.
| EDelta88 chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
it's Jyuuken or Juken depending on who you ask
good chp I look forward to how you handle the graduation
| Persnikitty chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Hahaha...very nice foreshadowing, and I really appreciate your character personalities and interactions. The council ban and responses were well done.
That being said, there were several grammatical and spelling errors in 4 and 5. Though I had little issue understanding the intent, despite having 4-fingers of Scotch, others might not be so fortunate. It's a distraction, plain and simple, besides being quite unprofessional.
Nil desperandum. I'm still catching mistakes in my own meager works, sometimes months after the 'final' edit. Clean this story up a bit, fix mistakes, and it will gleam. Sometimes, spellchecker is your worst friend: it's only as smart as the programmer.
Have a good one, keep safe, and I look forward to Ch. 6.
| Phamalama chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Ooh, Naruto has some puppet skillz! He's growing into the sealmaster that he's meant to be instead of the below average ninja in canon. I love the concept of Naga and the seal tags. Something that bothers me a lot is that words are misspelled once in a while. Is this chapter unbetaed? I hope you get a beta in the future so the chapter turns out more perfect. I can't wait to find out what team Naruto will be on and if Mizuki will approach him this time!
| greywizard-dumblemort chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
That last line's a bit foreboding... Hopefully its not gonna be some 'you don't pass because of the council' thing.
Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
| Nordvegr chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Interesting. Can't wait to see what happens next (or actually, I can, although I will have some problems doing it).
| CrazyLikeArt chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
“Perhaps,” said Sasori. “For what is worth I think you’re quite ready to graduate. Just remember that if Konoha decides to fail you you can always the village with me.”
hu... should there be a 'leave' between -always- and -the village-?
Nice going, now to see if he gets to be a genin or a missing-nin.
| BlizzardWolverine chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Awesome fan fiction! The plot has not been used, as far as I can tell and the way you spun the story is not overly dramatic or excessively explained (like if you state his daily schedule in detail). The story itself is not painful to read- virtually no grammar mistakes.
I like the way Naruto is shaping up. I can see that he is going to be very awesome and your explanation on how that is going to happen is really good. I look forward to the complications Naruto will suffer from being the Scorpion's Disciple.
Oh, and I absolutely LOVE that you're updating so fast. 50k words and you started five days ago! Hope that you can maintain this to the end but I won't mind having less frequent updates if you keep the quality of your stories.
| Senyor Fier Mensheir chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
FAIL HIM! Then Kill Mizuki or somthing like that! Haha
I loved the chapter, especially the bit with Ino and the battle.
| Raidentensho chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
This is a very good story. it has character development at its finest. also the fight scene was short, yet realistic to a degree. to last 5 to 10 minutes with the most basic of puppets with non-lethal poison by sasori(S-class ninja) is a possible chunin material ninja. can't wait for the graduation chapter. if you make it lead to a 'first kill' chapter, put in another puppet naruto can control. either base it on a fox or spider to instill fear for attacking or capture. you are doing great at this, and again i can't wait for more. ja ne.
| Lazielow chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
Great job !
I can't wait for the next chapter.
| LHN chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
x_x while i was reading my last review I saw LOTS of errors, sorry.
This chapter was very good. I liked specially the way you more or less preserve Naruto personallity while changing the plot.