Reviews for Scorpion's Disciple
Itharax chapter 15 . 12/27/2014
Love the story. A little sad that u abandoned it but still its very good
midnightgamin chapter 15 . 12/21/2014
The Deidara and Naruto thing would have been awesome. The two blonds would have traded banters and chuck explosives at each other. XD
Then Sasori is revealed! Ah, that would give Sarutobi and Baki heart attacks. Naruto goes with his mentor and Kabuto. I am definitely sure Naruto and Sasori would constantly clashed in the 3 year gap. During their travels Naruto steals Kabuto as his spy while he takes Sasori's suggestion of making Hinata his first human puppet albeit reluctantly.
Naruto would be more or less have ambiguous morals and intentions as time went on. Shino would be canonNaruto's equivalent and would try to bring him back. Ino seemed like a potential love interest too, whereas Sai would be trained to fight Naruto under Root but inordinately fails.
What of Sasori's plans for his disciple? The old scorpion could turn out like Zabuza (father-son relationship with Haku) or like Orochimaru in canon and Naruto would succeed him as the Master of Puppets.
Well, this story may not be finished but it certainly achieved its goal: Naruto's growth and development under Sasori.
Still, amazing story.
Guest chapter 15 . 12/18/2014
i relly enjoyed this and im sad thier is no sequel. killing hinta was evil but an exelnt plot twist however wear in the elamentel nasions is danzo and root. they cold have proven to be an almoste inexstubel sorce of crativity and to mantion the comdic relfe stylings of tobi.
The Observant Reader chapter 15 . 12/1/2014
i would've expected Naruto to kill Neji, but still it's a pretty good ending. shame you didn't properly finish the story. Enjoyed it and am going to check what other stories you have now :D
Kathrine Yang chapter 12 . 11/30/2014
Bird Duck
Sasuke Revenge
Duck(ass) Sasuke

The bird wanted revenge. The bird is Sasuke.

...
MagykjayEmmax chapter 15 . 11/20/2014
While I'm bummed that there was no formal last chapter, I'm glad you gave your readers a conclusion of some kind. I really liked your AU version of Naruto and there were plenty of ingenious divergences from canon that I found very plausible (especially building a fighting style centered around medical techniques/knowledge, sealing, and puppetry)! Kudos to you and thanks for writing a wonderful story!
pikachucat chapter 15 . 11/12/2014
awesome
greenprisoner chapter 15 . 10/29/2014
you were so close! but thank you for at least summarizing what you would have written, that's much much better than just leaving it open-ended, also really good story. for some reason i love sasori and naruto, it's such a weird combination but for some reason it works really well
Guest chapter 15 . 9/17/2014
This story is technically unfinished, it shouldn't be under the complete status I understand that you have stopped writing this story but a summary of the rest of the story is not an ending. the story was great and I was deeply invested in it and the ending was - understandably - disappointing. Your outline for the ending was fine but being in summary form it didn't give the feeling of a finished story. The only reason I'm complaining - and I'm not really complaining - is because I only read finished stories so as not to be dissapointed or left hanging if an author abandons or discontinues a story. To read the whole story only to have a summary ending made it feel unfinished - which it was. So I kindly ask that you change the status from complete and simply add discontinued to the end of the story description. Please don't take this offensively I'm not hating I'm just saying some people only like to read complete stories so for an incomplete story to be labeled complete is very irritating.
APauliJ chapter 15 . 9/1/2014
Just found your story and read it today/yesterday. So glad you left the summary so I wouldn't be left wondering :) That's usually what really bugs me when a story is abandoned- when I'm left with no real hint as to how it would end, and I got the rest of the story (summary was good, lol, sorry it sapped your creativity for this story) and I really like how this went (except Hinata's death was a bit of a downer).
Rory O'Kane chapter 15 . 8/25/2014
Thank you very much for actually finishing this story with a summary. Finishing an abandoned story with a summary is all too rare, and you even made it a pretty complete summary that is detailed enough for me to imagine a story around it. I appreciate that.

It would be nice, however, if you also edited the first chapter to add a note at the top stating that this story isn’t actually “Complete”, like the tag says it is. I mean, the story is closer to Complete than Incomplete, but some readers would get the wrong idea from that label and be disappointed. I think the story was worth reading anyway even after this surprise of the story not having a full ending, but some people probably regret reading the story and wished they had known it wasn’t finished so they wouldn’t bother reading an incomplete story in the first place. And writing such a warning wouldn’t actually require any creativity. Just a suggestion.
CartelLane chapter 15 . 8/8/2014
Oh...why...:(
AnnAisu chapter 15 . 8/3/2014
While it is highly disappointing that this quality work will never be finished, I am appeased by the summary you left. Or - man, it sucks that you won't finish, but I really, really appreciate the summary! I think you did really well with this story. Too bad Naruto never learned shadow clone, though. He could have had his clones controlling puppets... the clones are basically autonomous, and all they need is the chakra Naruto readily provides to manipulate the puppets...
Well, I really liked your proposed ending; the inversion of events is rather entertaining, even if Hinata's death was never expected. :,( I wonder if Sakura ever told Sasuke about how to use the seal? : )
Thank you for writing as much as you did, and especially thank you for the summary!
...Now I just need to get back to writing my Recommendation Report essay...
Dimensional Roamer chapter 7 . 7/27/2014
Wow! I love how Naruto totally paraphrased Sasori when talking to Konohamaru! That was awesome :)
spyderslicer chapter 15 . 7/24/2014
Wonderful fic while it lasted. The writing is wonderful and reads very nicely. You were pretty good with spelling and grammar. Your main problem seemed to be 'your' and ' you're '. I probably don't need to type this, but your is possessive, you're is a contraction of 'you' and 'are'.

Although I am quite sad to see this end like it did, I must say you get some bonus points for giving two shits. Most authors that hit a permanent writers block or can't find the energy to finish, will just throw a complete tag on incomplete work. At least you gave us a quick summary of your plans if you had have continued.

One last thing that I feel should be addressed, you should probably go back to chapter 13 and just remove that little authors note. I downloaded this story whole. When I hit the end of chapter 13 my heart was caught in my throat for a moment. But that stupid little authors note at the bottom was like a kick to the scrotum. Completely unnecessary.

Maybe it had use at the time, but it outlived its usefulness the moment chapter 14 was put out. It felt like a spoiler. Like you were reading 'Orphanage' and as you were almost there, someone leans over you and says "It says that Pooh died in the next paragraph" you would be pissed, from what you just read, you were already expecting the worst; and to know before you can actually read it yourself because a spoiler just took most of the punch out of it sucks big time.

Thanks for the good time, however short it feels.

Good luck in your future writings.

Hunter C. Creed
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