Reviews for One line
Alex DW chapter 2 . 9/18/2014
this is so sad! D: please tell me your making a chapter 3? . god man i cried so much reading these XD great talent, but omfg so sad!
Kell957 chapter 2 . 8/12/2014
Can you make another chapter where there is a time skip and Sasuko has found her brother? After she has found her brother, can you make her come back home to Naruko? Please? If so, Thank you very much!
KumikoSaitou chapter 2 . 8/31/2013
I read this story a while ago and I was so moved that I immediately tried to forget all about it. That may sound crazy but at that time, it was difficult for me to unterstand the meaning and the depth and it was too much so I decided to make a note somewhere reminding me of this story and when I would read it, I'd return to this story. And I did and it still blew me away. The way the two interact and the thoughts and feelings of both are so very well written and complicated that it really feels like they are two real people, not only characters in a fictional story, but just...real. I'm still not really sure if I understood everything and will probably keep thinking about it for a while. To end this completely weird comment, I just wanted to say, that you are an amazing writer and please keep writing. Thank you.
CloudBloodbane chapter 2 . 8/9/2013
I just stumbled on this, and for me who dislikes any form of Naruto/Sasuke pairing even swapping genders that's saying something, but this, this was a magnificent piece of writing. The only real bit that bothers me is the (somewhat) lack of what Naruko went through or felt after Sasuko left.
fpride4tw chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
To be honest i don't usually write review to the stories i read but with this i just feel like i have to. I Really liked this one. It was beautifull, wery well written and to be honest i almost cried in the end. Easily one of the best FF short stories i have ever read.
Maya Yin chapter 2 . 10/30/2011
This is beautiful and heartbreaking and bittersweet and so so lovely.

I think this is the first SasuNaru Yuri I have read, and I'm very glad I did, though it made me cry :')

I love how you've made the characters different and yet the same, your writing is wonderful and everything fits together in a way that kinda broke my heart.

For some reason, Sasuke leaving Naruto always makes me sadder than Naruto leaving Sasuke, and the ending to this was just...words can't define.

Sasuko's note made my heart ache in this happysad sort of way.

I'm not sure of you made it this way, but this is what I thought so I'll say it anyway, heh:

To me it seems as though Sasuko loved Naruko once, and it's that part of herself she's left behind with the note and the dress and the lipstick, because it's that Sasuko that Naruko also loved and still loves, the same Sasuko who will continue to love Naruko in return, a different Sasuko to the one who has just left to find her brother. But also that she's come back to herself; that her old self, before Naruko, and her new self are the same. Their ambitions and goals are the same, they'd just been pushed back during her four years with Naruko.

I guess what I'm trying, and failing spectacularly at, to say is that there is a part of Sasuko that loves Naruko, and vice-versa, even though the family that Sasuko has chosen is her brother, and that's why she felt/feels guilty, why she wants to memorise Naruko's scent, she doesn't want to forget, but still wants to move on, or move back, depending how you look at it :)

The 'line that breaks her', makes me think Sasuko has done the one thing that she couldn't in all the years with Naruko, not exactly corrupt or taint her, but hurt her enough that I don't think Naruko will be completely the same again; a bit more wary maybe, and bit more cynical, which is what Sasuko was trying to do in the first place. So in an ironic way, she kind of succeeded.

I wish there had been a little more on Naruko's feelings in the second chapter, as I'm not really sure whats going to happen to her now Sasuko's left, though I think she will get better in time. I also wish you there had been a scene of Sasuko leaving, but I guess it's more ambiguous like this. Though I'd like to believe Sasuko cried because she'd made her choice and it wasn't an easy one.

I'm pretty sure this is going to stick in my mind for a long while. Thank you for writing it, and sorry for dissecting so much of this. I love analysing things and symbolism, especially when it comes to stories like this, where everything is not laid out clearly and you have to fit pieces together yourself and make of it what you will.

I'm not sure if what I got from this story s what you were thinking while writing, but I suppose everyone sees things in a different way :D

~Maya Yin

P.S. When Sasuko is leaving the bed, and Naruko seemed to be trying to stop her...is that foreshadowing or just my imagination?

P.P.S Sorry, but just had to say, I love the way this is written in present tense 3, I don't see it all that often :D
EvilJorge chapter 2 . 8/20/2011
Only thing bad about this is that I didn't quite understand the meaning of Sasuko's last note to Naruko, otherwise an amazingly artistic and beautifully depressing take on a rare pairing. Not something I'd usually read, but I'm glad I did.
Konoha Kunimitsu chapter 1 . 4/18/2011
Ok, I like the story plot and detail situation but not the so-called " stressed" emotions of Sasuko, it was annoying and Naruko was a bit too clingy throughout the entire story. I like the lemon part too but it conflused me and I had to re-read it. More so, the ending was conflusing as well but overall I like the story. I would recommend to tone down the character's emotions and create a very strong ending connecting to the story's conflict.
Freezing Ashes chapter 2 . 4/18/2011
Really sad but good. Really makes you think about the relationships you have in life.

~ashes
animabi chapter 2 . 3/14/2011
Reading this fic feels like looking at one of those pieces of art that has different colors of swirls and and textures and forms to make something that looks like a black hole went to a rave and the burning man festival and some huge hippie party (even though it's just some guy on DA who took a sample photo from photoshop and just used Liquefy for 3 hours) and the critic can't decide whether to go on a huge extravagant rant on how vast a complex the art is and details human emotion and how the color symbolize what and yadda yadda or to just drop a nice little "Cool piece I like this part, and how did you do this? " in the comments section.

Thats a little like where I find myself now. I feel like if I weren't so tired I'd try to understand Sasuko's conflict and emotion and try to figure her out and her point of view on art and such, but I only wanna come to the small conclusion that she's at a small conflict with herself over her small ambition to find her brother or stay with Naruko. Love how you tied Sasuke's little "This is my battle!" Stubbornest with finding Itachi and defeating/Meeting him as it is here. I could never see Sasuke/Sasuko as the artsy type even if it's just looking at it in a distinct view. Your Sasuko just kind of confused the heck out of me until the very last moment. She goes through mood swings a lot and gets bitchy for no reason, I thought she was on her period or pregnant. I really just don't know what to say about this characterization. It's not bad I just can't get behind it or really find anything I like besides the whole "Meet my brother and not kill him!" thing, which I find really really appealing for some reason. Naruko, on the other hand I feel like I don't know a whole lot about at all other than she's a nice girl that has copious amounts of affection for her loved ones. Which is just like Naruto. And now that I think about it, he cries just as much as Naruko in this too. Lul, I rmemeber the Zabuza arc and he and inari were trying to be manly men and not cry, and all these recent chapters where he's realizing Sasuk has gotten alot darker and he meets him mom and tears just kind of are over flowing lately it's funny. But this isn't a biography and I'm not looking for one, so I'll shutup. This was different read for me. I usually read through NAruSasu fics a lot but I've been meaning to read NAruko Sasuko something, but this was different. And I enjoyed that. You gave their characters new ambition and new personality traits but they were still reminiscent of their canon counterparts and thats always a nice find in fanfiction as well as the fact thats its really well written. A little dull but far from poor writing. Detailed and accurate while explaining things that could take pages in crisp clear sentences; Very nice. This probably won't linger on in my mind or have me begging for a new chapter like a rabid yaoi fangirl at the sight of a cliffhanger, but it's still pretty damn good. And though it has sex, it's not sexy, it's sweet and a bit emotional with tenderness that has a cute little "I'm sorry/I forgive you" feel to it and it's really relaxing and soothing. Your writing has real quality to me. And I thought it deserved the proper review though I'm dead tired. Please excuse the spelling errors I know are going to be ever present in this review.

So, I hope you like long reviews! Sorry if you don't.

PS: Me and my silly mind; The whole time reading this fic I'm going through each summary after summary trying to get thoughts of what canon Naruto and Sasuke's reaction would be to seeing themselves as hot lesbians in such a relationship. X3 Not your fault though, your writing wasn't pushing those thoughts at all, I'm just a bit reaction savvy.
RPWriters chapter 2 . 6/1/2010
This. This was just.. so beautiful.

I cried, at the end.

The first chapter. It. reminded me of someone. I fight alot with her, too.

B-but the second chapter.

Its all just so beautifully, melancholicly sad. Beautiful, but dark, and covered in mystery, and just the right touch of appeal.

Dear god I think I have a new OTP. c:
ShallowMind chapter 2 . 5/29/2010
First yuri SasuNaru I have read... I liked it. Kind of a sad ending though...
clandiice chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
i read this out of curiosity, and i have to say: i regret doing it. so much.

it has ruined all the amazing things that sasunaru has.

they're really OOC and despite them having some similarities, it's very different now that they're girls. now i just see sasuke as a b*tch and naruto as someone very whiny and clingy and shit.

a real shame on the sasunaru world.

i admit that this is quite nice but i think it's better off with other characters.
Dragonwolf chapter 2 . 11/30/2009
I'm a bit at loss for words here. But this was... yeah no words...
muumuu122 chapter 2 . 11/11/2009
Wow, tää oli melko intensiivinen 3 Ja mä oli niin iloinen, kun Sasuko ei löytynyt lopussa kuolleena, se olisi ollut jotenkin tosi pettymys, heikko ratkaisu, ja mä en osaa ajatella Sasukea heikkona oli se sitten mies tai nainen :) Lähteminen sopii sarjan henkeen ja kaikkea, nyt tarvitaan enää "after time skip" jatko-osa ;)
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