|Reviews for Inheritance|
| sunshinelexi chapter 2 . 6/30/2009
good job; I think its interesting (and in character) for Voldemort to expect a son. The time jump to the wand shop confused me a bit at first, I had to reread it to figure out why we were timeskipping there, but once again it was hilarious. You have a gift for humor in writing .
| sunshinelexi chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
Thank you for reviewing my story . I have to say, this was hilarious! I loved the part where all the kids were questioning Harry, ESPECIALLY when the girl asked "Can we call you scarface?" xD. Also, I really like your title, mine is kinda generic, it was the only thing I could think of. As for your end note (less then one percent Mary Sue), I think the best way to ensure that your character doesn't become a Mary Sue is to make them the opposite sex from yourself, as I did in my story. Yours seems pretty good though, she struggles through all the problems you would expect a child (or potential child) of Lord Voldemort to have. It's interesting to imagine a bad side to all the heroes in the book (COULD Harry Potter really discriminate against the children of the enemies he despised?), and you seem to do this better than I do by actually bringing Harry Potter into the story. I can't wait to read on and see if Marvela's fears are justified.
| Bone White Butterfly chapter 5 . 6/30/2009
That was a brilliant use of mythology trivia. With the toad and everything. And now Marvela must admit she's a parseltongue to Harry Potter. Ouch.
I'm really liking this story. Can't wait to see where this goes.
| Jaden Ruth chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
Great idea. Can't wait to read more.
"Can we call you Scarface?"
LOL! Loved it!
| So this is real life chapter 4 . 6/29/2009
"hanged out" should be "hung out", but other than that, nice job
| Wunmiii chapter 4 . 6/29/2009
i was enjoying that
| Pippin's Socks chapter 4 . 6/29/2009
that hat's a bastard :P xD and i wish i had a cat as awesome as that one XD The heir of slytherin cooing to a cat...-snerk- xD But the winner is definately the sorting hat, those darn garments are crafty buggers :P
| Bone White Butterfly chapter 3 . 6/28/2009
Sweet. I love the Runespoor conversation. Totally realistic dialogue here.
It avoids Sue-ness by merit of Marvela having no sudden onset of true love syndrome. That's the key symptom, you know. Anyway, if you're worried and need a model of a good HP OC character, google up "The Family Clock." Love that fic.
"downright creepy (bloodstained elfin bone)" -Aww. You still wuv me. Or more likely Fen, but it's wuv all the same.
| So this is real life chapter 3 . 6/28/2009
I laughed pretty much the whole way through this chapter. Well done. Very good job with your characterizations. I also loved that she carries eye drops for "those" occasions.
| Fierce Socks chapter 3 . 6/28/2009
-gushes with adoration- here's a review to put you out your misery :D! I love this chapter, seriously. The whole parseltounge section is amazing XD Just the attitude of the snake makes me laugh everytime :D And the line 'I’m developing a phobia of raised hands…' is brilliant XD
| nikavera chapter 2 . 6/28/2009
Really well written. I don't I've seen any one els trying something even remotly like this! It's well written and the way you change from POV to POV is realistic, but I think you may have ridiculed Olivander a bit to much. But then this IS a humor story... '
I think you have done well in not making Marvela a MarySue but the Olivander scene did come close. Althought I still really enjoyed reading it xD
Over all Really vell donne, Hope you update soon!
PS: You deserve more revies!
| Pippin's Socks chapter 2 . 6/28/2009
Oh I love the Olivanders sequence xD Those scenes are always epic, mostly because Olivander is such a creeper xD And the interaction between Harry and Marvela is flawless :D I really can't wait for more :D
| laura dragon chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
though that it had very good plot structure and the way the audience was drawninto the storyline with unusual structures like the journal. the characters worked very well and the way it looped into the future with professor Harry was very realistic :) it sounds like the girl has something really important to hide which creats extra drama and tension, it feels like it's building up to a climaxe. i really like it so far and I already want to know whats going to happen to the girl so well done :)
| Nuadha chapter 2 . 6/27/2009
I'm liking this. Please continue.
| So this is real life chapter 2 . 6/27/2009
Interesting... I really want to see where you go with this. I don't think she's marysue-ish, except possibly for the thing you referenced with her eyes. Voldemort's eyes changed because he became less human the more he split his soul and experimented with things; it doesn't seem like a genetic trait to be passed down to me. Good point about the wands refusing to duel and the problems that would present in a classroom where she's trying to keep her wand's origins secret. Keep going!