|Reviews for Reverse|
| Team Wingless chapter 1 . 2/22
I'm a little Leary on your hook, I'd recommend changing your first sentence to something like "A sudden burst of light splintered like broken glass, cutting jagged holes through his subconscious..." I know you're trying to be deep but too often we come up too obscure and being straight forward accomplishes more of what we were going for instead. Also, don't assume that just bc its in FF7 fandom we know the protagonist is Cloud, I read almost to the bottom before you made it clear who the MC even was, that's a very dangerous tactic bc you risk losing the reader's attention. I'd recommend giving a little more of a hint earlier on in the story, like right in the first part, just for clarity's sake. Overall, very good kinda postmodern style you've got going here, and I hope you keep writing it.
Good job :)
| yukio87 chapter 16 . 8/6/2014
Please update. Don't stop writing this...please? I wanna know more...Please?
| Sweet-With-Talent chapter 16 . 3/23/2014
This story is amazing. I find it both intriguing and at the same time very believable. Sephiroth lives up to his badass status and everyone seems to be working in the same universe, unlike various stories I've read. I seriously think you have a wonderful story here and hope you will continue it. I do wonder if you have given up on the romantic side of this tale, but I assure you completely that even if you don't include it, this tale is amazing and besides, you could always fill that quota as either omakes or as the epilogue. Good luck and thank you for the read!
| Bamba 3-80 chapter 16 . 3/22/2014
Brilliant story! :D Are you still writing this?
| ZisinLove chapter 16 . 2/3/2014
wow! I'm glad to have found your story! It was the same old sephiroth but you've shed a new light about him..i hope you'll still update!
| Nerisel chapter 16 . 11/21/2013
It's turning into a defining story of the time travelling genre in the FFVII fandom, everyone's in character, the concept is original and captivating, the ending is anticipated. Please update, if you do you'll be my hero. :)
| Nerisel chapter 7 . 11/20/2013
I swear, every chapter gets better than the last. I was wondering, do the mako Sephiroth seems to cough out after each Cetra session in the real world a way to get rid of the poison? This story is really intriguing, I love how you've imbued so many mysteries in it, it just keeps the reader alert for new clues! :D
| EccentricFox chapter 16 . 11/19/2013
erm...bi-weekly means twice a week. the term you're looking for is fortnightly (Just thought you'd like to know).
Sorry to be picky; another word you favour - wan. While it's a fantastic word, I think you're overusing it. Tired, exhausted, pale, sickly, ghostly, waxen, listless, drained, strained, weak, pale - again, only off the top of my head, but words that mean essentially the same thing or could easily substitute for it.
Some phrases and words can become a habit in authors, and it's something that I try to avoid as much as possible, though I know it's not an easy thing to keep an eye on.
Despite my small gripes, I'm looking forward to the next chapter and hopefully more Cloud and Sephiroth interacting. There wasn't nearly enough in this chapter!
I will be looking forward to the next chapter eagerly.
| EccentricFox chapter 14 . 11/19/2013
I have noticed on several occasions that you've used "where" instead of "were" "Lied" instead of "laid" or "lay" (the bit where Vincent is standing near where Lucrecia's body "lied" it should be "lay".) and you also have seem to have developed an over-fondness for the word, 'madness'. Insanity, lunacy, loco, crazy, crazed, deranged, unhinged, maniacal, a screw loose, hysterical, damaged, broken, bonkers, loopedy-loo, crackers - and these are just off the top of my head; there are loads of synonyms and phrases that could easily be supplanted for "Madness".
Another phrase you've used quite frequently is "not even realising they're dead" or something to that effect when they've been struck down by Cloud or Sephiroth. There have to be other ways to describe it or maybe further description is unnecessary. We know how quick those two are - you've already told us.
In a previous chapter (I wish I'd taken note) instead of writing neck, you've written next. It's possibly the chapter before this one. There are also a few phrases which read a little awkwardly as they use the same word in the sentence twice. I picked it up earlier and I just wish I'd made a note of it, but I always forget about it after I start reading.
I don't know if you have a beta, but it might be a good idea to have someone go over the last fourteen chapters to pick up on - and smooth out - those little things. They're not over-abundant, but there's enough of them that I notice them and find myself losing focus, mentally trying to correct the phrase, which means I lose rhythm with the story.
Despite this, you've still got me reading. I'm a little anxious for things to come to a head - all the angst and Sephi-torture is getting a bit stale and I long for a confrontation between him and Cloud.
| EccentricFox chapter 4 . 11/18/2013
every chapter leaves me more impressed. I'm glad it's not completely angsty - can't stand when it's all doom and gloom.
I'm sincerely glad I read on.
| EccentricFox chapter 2 . 11/18/2013
This second chapter is a redemption. I would recommend moving the first section of this chapter to the first chapter, or blending the two. Having those early revelations at the beginning of this chapter really helped to engage my attention.
Though now I'm left wondering why Cloud still went to Shinra to become SOLDIER - without Sephiroth, Cloud would probably have never entertained the idea of joining Shinra, unless there is someone who acts as the equivalent? I can more easily see Cloud leaving Nibelheim and making it no further than the Chocobo Ranch.
I suppose those answers come later on. Are you basing the story solely on the first game, or does your canon include AC, CC, DC etc? Would Cloud have gone to Shinra in the hopes of emulating Hollander's boys? I'm interested to find out.
Guess I'll have to keep reading. Well played :P
| EccentricFox chapter 1 . 11/17/2013
It was far too much. I refer to the opening (of chapter one) where it's a mash of words and little sense. That may have been your intention, but I think in this instance less is more. My suggestion would be to cut it back, or perhaps be less oblique with your meaning. We get that it's meant to be disorienting and emotionally charged, but I don't think that it's being expressed as well as it could.
I'm also not too keen on your characterisation of the Cetra. My understanding is that they are an enlightened race of people. I also tend not to see Sephiroth as a pure villain, so having him tortured and killing his younger self was off-putting and I felt counter to how the Ancients would operate. However, I understand that for the purpose of your story you've portrayed them in the way that you have.
I just find it...contradictory to canon and like I said, off-putting. It feels like you're setting up the Cetra as being the great 'evil'/the "big-bad" that will need to be defeated. If that is the case, perhaps it would be better to ease off, be a bit more subtle, so it's not half-guessed at the beginning.
The first chapter can make or break a story, and often if I'm not engaged within that first chapter, I'm far less likely to continue reading. I'm still debating whether or not I should continue with the next chapter.
Mind you, the criticisms above are mostly based upon personal taste. Other's may not view it the same and conversely think it's fantastic. However, there is still some work that could be done here to improve it overall. I can't really offer specific advice; the only thing I can really recommend is that you try to clean it up a bit, make it a little clearer or maybe even just a bit shorter.
Your story initially interested me because, while there are a lot of time travel fics out there, most are Cloud-centric and very few have Sephiroth going back in time (or very few good ones, at any rate). Which is why I'm in two minds about reading on, but I'm willing to give the story a chance.
Your first chapter isn't stellar, I'll be honest, but I'm hoping the next one will really grab me.
| Kitsune chapter 1 . 8/3/2013
Wow... forget Cloud. Finally someone has written Sephiroth as he should be. I love him in this and the fact that he's not looking for second chances in this. And despite the Cetra and Jenova messing with him he's not letting them simply break him either. I really hope he beats them at their own game because despite the hopelessness he sees in continuing to resist he HAS finally managed to get the Cetra to back off and do things his way. He just needs to be very careful in how he interacts with Cloud and a few choice others that the Cetra apparently still have designs for. I wonder though are you going to add Kadaj and them? I just wonder what exactly Sephiroth would do with someone who would obviously go to such lengths to revive him in AC even though it was slightly due to Jenova's influence. Really can't wait to find out what happens next.
| LassyD chapter 16 . 3/20/2013
I am impressed with the creativity and depth of this story. Thanks for sharing it. I'll make up my own ending shall I?
| LassyD chapter 1 . 3/18/2013
This is a much different time travel premise than i've seen before. I quite like it. Seeing that there's more chapters, I'm glad you continued it.