|Reviews for Broken|
| NannaRahRah chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
| daydreamergr chapter 32 . 7/20/2010
Please tell me Edward finally beats the shit out of James. Can't wait to read more.
| aci chapter 32 . 6/19/2010
don't abandon this.
| Narcys-crazydaisy chapter 32 . 6/16/2010
This is a great story, SHIT! You have me wound up, please please update sooooon. It's been a while since your last update here and you are killing us all, and give us some light at the end of this tunnel with Edward and Bella, I know he knows better that to believe James, so please please please update sooon. Edward needs to beat the shit out of James and go talk to Bella and straighten everything out. I'm fucking going nuts here, please update sooon.
| kitcatz chapter 32 . 6/2/2010
I have to say I love this story a lot. I really love your portrayal of James and how much of a manipulator he can be. Awesome. Hope you update again soon!
| Weffanie chapter 32 . 4/14/2010
| pinklilly35 chapter 32 . 3/24/2010
Surely the sun has to come out soon, Im fucking so wound up that i need just a little bit of fluff, in amongst my kaos, so i don't go and hang myself,
Please give a little love for B & E.
Ps loving the story...
| SomeStrangeDay chapter 32 . 2/21/2010
OH MY GOD! it is pure evil to leave it there! you cant do that and then not update for over a month! WRITE MORE PLEASE!
| graceful-irish-sheep chapter 31 . 2/6/2010
i think edward will fight james and laurent at some point, but he won't be alone and that bella will be mad at first but then be grateful for them getting rid of james. great story so far.
i have seen new moon. it is so amazing! if i had to choose between edward and jacob, it would be jacob every time, but i try to be team switzerland. after all neutral is good. the film was much better than the first. (omg i am touch typing! i've been trying for ages. yay!)
| graceful-irish-sheep chapter 4 . 2/3/2010
omg. why would laurent do that? this is a great story so far :)
| jansails chapter 32 . 1/29/2010
I am enjoying reading "Broken", but I do have a serious problem with Bella allowing James' violence to progress after the initial slap.
Bella's the daughter of a police chief in a small town where gossip spreads like wildfire.
Bella has probably been educated in her own home by her father, far more about domestic violence than her classmates.
What daughter of ANY law enforcement officer is not thoroughly educated by their parent as to what is acceptable behavior in relationships?
Not that it can't happen whatsoever, but I think you've ignored Charlie's inherent investigative, skeptical nature allied to his career, combined with being the single parent of a daughter.
I find it hard to believe Bella would not immediately threaten James with exposure to her father, who in reality could easily arrest James, place him in a holding cell, & intimidate the hell out of him.
Granted, this would not allow you to tell your story :-(
But, I do wish you would not slough off Charlie's intelligence, & fatherly concern for his daughter's wellbeing.
At this juncture, Charlie is either a neglectful or a blind parent.
| jansails chapter 12 . 1/29/2010
Really like the line "not friends with gravity"!
Lemon trees in Forks Wa would be unusual, too cool an area...do they have a greenhouse?
In American, it's not referred to as the lounge, but as the den, the family room, the great room, or the TV room. A lounge is usually a bar, brew pub kind of place.
| jansails chapter 11 . 1/29/2010
When Jake puts the bike back in his vehicle, it should go in the trunk- Americans don't say "boot" for trunk of the car.
Don't mean to harp on your non-American language, but this story is set in Forks WA.
| jansails chapter 9 . 1/29/2010
I like the storyline, it's proving to be an interesting read.
However, you must not be American: making or having tea as an activity or snack/meal would be unusual, unless it was iced tea; singlet is not a term we use, but tank top (or wife-beater by some).
Also, Laurent deserves his "just deserts", which actually means what one deserves, so it's redundant to say he deserves his just deserts.
Better to say Laurent should get his "just deserts" or "I'd like to see him get his "just deserts".
| Delandora chapter 32 . 1/22/2010
Awesome ass chapter. I loved it and serioulsy can't wait for the next one. I hope Edward doesn't believe James' bullshit.