Reviews for Beneath her smile
high improbability chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
Dangit, Jack's a jerk and needs to be thrown into the Kappa Lake and...never mind. xD

I like how you made Sasha so vulnerable. Original, because other stories make her the overprotective mother who's totally against Jack/Karen.

Awesome job, and good luck!
b4k4 ch4n chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
Ouch ouch, oh boy. How is Sasha going to deal with this? From what I read, it seems like she decided to just keep this to herself without telling anyone.

God, I feel so bad for Jeff. At least Jack wasn't married to Karen. God, that would be just more horrifying.

Jack's a jerk, someone needs to kick him.

Pretty dark story, but nice work!

Good luck in the contest!
rupin chapter 1 . 7/2/2009
My my. Another great story!

The pairing of Jack/Sasha never occurred to me before, but I loved the unique pairing in this.

You really made Sasha seem very vulnerable, and Jack as someone that deserves to be smacked. Hard.

Good luck in the contest
Mage the Observer chapter 1 . 7/2/2009
Ouch. This one's a bit dark for my usual tastes, but it's well-executed and has a good flow.

I'd recommend reviewing basic punctuation, but that's just nit-picking on my part. Overall, this is good work.

Good luck in the contest.
Kitsune no Tora chapter 1 . 7/1/2009
There were a few minor issues with your structure and a typo or two that confused me for a second, but I thought this was very good. Great job, I enjoyed it a lot. :3

Good luck in the contest!
popuriFFic chapter 1 . 7/1/2009
omg, loved this idea! i wrote a jack/lilla years ago but didn't enter it here because i didn't know how people would react... i loved this :)
Jean Cooper chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
wow...secrets theme seems to ooze affairs, doesnt it?

Nice take on Jack. It was different and you did it well. Makes me want to smash Jack's face with my hammer though.

Sasha's POV was something I cant recall being done before, and seeing her like this was very interesting. Kudos to you for doing this, and good luck in the contest.
sugarapplesweet chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
Entry verified! And what an entry it was!

I'm always excited to read something that focuses on characters outside of the marriage candidates, and it also was written so passionately. I really got a good sense of not only the actions but the turmoil as well.

A few structural issues, but nothing a few well placed commas couldn't clear up.

Good luck in the contest!

Peace and Love
brightened chapter 1 . 6/28/2009
I thought this was really really well-written and interesting. However, I think the dialogue was weak. There was so few lines of it that it should have been really strong or just left out completely. Overall though I liked it a lot.