|Reviews for Adagio|
| Guest chapter 3 . 4/4/2013
As with all of your stories, it was excellent, but there were two things that confused me: 1. How did the girls in class know Mio's a lesbian? Did Ritsu tell them? Why would she do that? 2. Why did Ritsu change her look?
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
A writer has succeeded when the reader forgets that he is reading, and loses himself in the story.
You have failed here.
| Raburesu chapter 3 . 8/30/2010
Oh my god. The fluff! THE FLUFF!
Wonderful ending. Seriously, it was beautiful. I didn't think it was corny or dragged out at all. :O *sucker for Mitsu romance* Ritsu's so sweet. X3
I also think your Yui is more intelligent than KyoAni's. XD
| Raburesu chapter 2 . 8/30/2010
Best. Beginning. Evar! XD
And damn, Ritsu's mom doesn't understand her at all. :O "GROW UP. QUIET MUSIC. GIVE ME GRANDCHILDREN!" D:
I loved how you used the seiyuu's names for the students. x) And Hisaka being the strict teacher, while Satomi was the student seemed to allude to your (our) love of a seme Mio. X3
Ritsu coming to Mio's rescue was adorable. "No one's going to hurt her 'cause I love her!" You tell 'em, Ritsu! n_n
And your depiction of Yui's relationship with Giita was amazing. XD
| Raburesu chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
God, your title is so fitting. For me, your pacing approaches perfection. And your writing style reminded me of my own, for some reason... but yours is probably better. XD It flows well, and kept me interested.
Your characterization is enjoyably spot-on, too. I smiled at Ritsu getting all hyped watching that concert. :D I'm really fond of her dream, too. X3
And I'm guessing Ritsu may end up maxing out her denial stat. :3
| Shrimp Mayo chapter 3 . 3/26/2010
awesome even though i didn't understand some and why you rated it t it was still awesome...XD
| BuRiChiFaN chapter 3 . 1/11/2010
nope... i don't think this chapter was in any way corny...it's actually not...
the reconciliation part was like no other,,but it's cute...
Ritsu was so sweet...practicing the guitar for mio...yay!
| BuRiChiFaN chapter 2 . 1/11/2010
love this chapter!
| BuRiChiFaN chapter 1 . 1/11/2010
shuckz! the indirect kiss was funny...
the futsuu dakara thingy...was a nice idea...
yay! it's a tad unlikely though for me to have mio like ritsu first...than the vice versa...
| Random Reader chapter 3 . 12/19/2009
I actually liked it a lot more than I thought I would. Excellentely written and totally fun to read. I just could picture all that happened like it was another episode from the series. Please keep up the good work, and thanks for sharing!
| punk218 chapter 3 . 12/3/2009
AWESOME! THIS IS THE BEST RITSU X MIO FANFIC I HAVE READ YET SO FAR! And trust me, i read almost about all of them. Aside from your fic and also this other fic called "The Experiment" here, i dont know if you read it or seen it around here yet but this is so good! Cant wait for your sequel.
| depression76 chapter 3 . 10/26/2009
great to see them finally 're both just to cute lol
anyway,thanks for writing! i'll be wating for the sequel!
see you around!xD
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/22/2009
haven't you guys read the mio ritsu chapter of k-on?
shows mio and ritsu referring to each other with -chan suffixes i.e. ricchan, mio-chan. it might've been when they're young, but yeah they did call each other that.
| RtDK chapter 3 . 10/22/2009
Wow ... this is a BRUTE of a chapter. Just a forewarning: Unless you were amazing with your self-edits, I don't think I'll be able to cover everything.
*Cracks his knuckles* Okay. Let's do this.
The last week of school passed uneventfully: there were no more practices, nor exams,...
Grammar alert! Colons are used for lists. This portion of text should be separated by a period, followed by capitalization. "There were no more practices or exams..."
... and Yui had consumed her daily sweets without a complaint—much to Ui's relief.
Why would Yui ever complain about receiving sweets? I bet you it could be the most rancid piece of chocolate in the history of man and she'd STILL devour it without a second thought. ;)
She pulled Yui back onto her seat surely yet gently.
Something about this sentence just bothers me. Try, "She pulled Yui back firmly but gently into her seat."
... then to Mio and Nodoka who were conversing animatedly ...
A few too many adjectives. Kinda distracts from the rest of the chapter. Instead of "conversing animatedly", try something like, "... conversing about something related to school."
... but she was Tsumugi and Tsumugi was polite.
"... but Tsumugi was Tsumugi, and she was polite."
Azusa and Mio shrank and hid behind Nodoka, so when Sawako gave them the predatory, gleaming eye, the two band members made a choked whimper.
I think you put this in in the wrong order. You probably meant something like:
"When Sawako looked at them with her predatory eyes, the two band members hid behind Nodoka."
"Ah, I called her yesterday and she told me then," she finished unconvincedly.
It took a long moment for the suggestion to register into Mio's brain.
"It took a moment ..." Otherwise you're just being a bit too wordy. Just saying "a moment" implies an unusual length of time in and of itself.
Yui paid no mind to how Mio was beginning to look like an oversized tomato, and answered a cheerful, "Yeah, I think."
I don't think there's anything wrong with the sentence itself, but it reads a little weird.
"Yui didn't notice Mio beginning to look like a big tomato. 'Yeah, I don't think so.'"
... she popped in a few slices of meat into the pot with a 'plop'.
Eh, again, the sentence is fine. But I'd simplify it to make it flow easier.
"... she dropped a few pieces of meat into the pot."
Also, the following bit with Sawako seems a bit tacked-on. It's kind of unnecessary, so I'd either just erase it, or shorten it to just be a humorous little sidenote.
Mio founded the humour in Tsumugi's statement and laughed along, but it ended short.
"... and laughed along for a bit."
Following is a bit of "war of the cabbage", which, while cute and humorous too, is also a bit of filler we could do without. Again, if you wanted to mention it in like a short sentence at the end of a paragraph or something, feel free. Otherwise it breaks up the flow of the situation, just because it's so different/off-topic.
Ui was a force to be reckoned with when serious.
You meant Yui. Unless her little sister's also battling on her behalf against their instructor-in which case I'd mention that to avoid confusion.
Following is a bit of Sawako's tendency to dress up Azusa and Mio. Again, it deserves a quick mention to maintain a K-On! tradition-but no more than a sentence or two. Again, something too different just breaks up the flow of the story. That, of course, is a bit more excusable with a slice-of-life series, but the more focused you remain on the main plot, the better off in-general you'll be.
Tsumugi's eyes lightened up.
Tsumugi's eyes probably either "lit up" or "softened", depending on what you're aiming for.
"Is there subtitles?"
"Is" should be "Are".
"Let's watch it then!" Yui announced.
Yui would actually be announcing something if she were declaring it to be happening. As it is, she's more suggesting it, or just saying it excitedly.
... with Azusa and Mio being a safe distance away from the couch.
Try, "... with Azusa and Mio keeping a safe distance."
The movie-watching is again a bit of a break in the flow. I understand you're trying to share a message, but definitely cut it down to only the essential elements.
Mio calls Ritsu only by her name-no cute nicknames. ;)
The little Mio/Ritsu flashback was cute, but I'm a little unclear on what you hoped to accomplish with it.
So deep into her thoughts, Mio didn't realise the movie had ended until Tsumugi shook her shoulder.
"So deep into her thoughts was she that Mio ..."
Yui shared a meaningful glance with Tsumugi.
Instead of just telling us that the glance was meaningful, give us some insight into HOW it was meaningful. Tell us what it meant, and instead of dictating to the readers how it was so special, let us decide that for ourselves.
From there, I was a bit confused why you decided to deviate onto Mio's family life. Her dad simply saying, "Ritsu sent you a present," would have sufficed, if you ask me. Again, meandering too much disrupts the smoothness of the story, and breaks your reader out of the feeling of "oneness" with the world you're creating.
'Sorry! I'm gonna be busy practising.
Have fun without me!'
Ritsu ... practice? I'm with Mio on this one-I'd be suspicious too. LOL
Again, this is all followed by a glimpse into Mio's parent's behavior. While nice and all, if it related to the story, it again takes too much focus off the main events. You can give them a brief mention to draw their similarities to those of Ritsu and Mio, but keep it brief, lest it slow us down too much.
That scene is again followed by a scene at the shrine, which I, again, have a bit of trouble finding enough relevance to make it worth including all of. Besides that ... why is Azusa moodier than usual? She's a bit of a tsundere, to be sure, but she's hardly ... grumpy. She's more pouty when she gets into one of her moods than angry.
Then finally, we are given our promised romance. It was natural, well-paced, and touching. Having said that ...
"You don't remember the name. You just don't know it."
"It's not that you don't remember the name-you just don't know it," would be the more correct way of putting that.
And why is Mio so ... punchy/hitty/make-you-hurty towards Ritsu in this chapter? I mean, I know it's an emotional moment for them both, but it's hardly a time to be brutalizing your wife-to-be ... especially when Ritsu's been trying so hard to regain Mio's favor.
But other than a little OOC-ness, I was very pleased by the ending. You didn't alienate the non-yuri fans by having the two make out or anything, but you hinted at a kiss just enough to provide the "squee" fuel the rest of us wanted.
Nicely-handled. I'm also impressed that you didn't do the old predictable "why are we fighting" thing. You actually put them together, and they had to resolve their issues. It wasn't "I'm sorry," and "That's okay." No, you actually put some thought into it. So, bravo in that regard.
Overall, this chapter felt a little more ... hastily put together than the others, despite its tardiness (we'll forgive that because the story itself was still a pleasure to read). The one thing I'm still a little confused by though, is that Ritsu seems to have gone from borderline homophobic, to "I'll do anything for her," in what seems like a short period of time, and little real explanation of the change. To be fair I'll have to go back and reread it all over again to catch everything, but this seems to me, at this point, to be a bit of a plot hole.
A quick denouement (or better yet, a full-blown exploration of the change in the sequel) that ties everything together would be a nice fix.
Great effort and good results though. I can safely say that I, and the rest of your readers, are more than likely quite satisfied. There's very little else to say, other than the fact I look forward to the next installment. _
| SouthpawSwordfighter chapter 3 . 10/20/2009
It's finally done, finally done! After... after... uh, I don't really know how long, but it doesn't matter now that the final chapter is up. Oh joy.
There was so much fluff in this chapter and dear lord, I think I must be developing a guilty little pleasure with Mio/Ritsu fluff, if I didn't already have one before.
The New Year's Shrine scene was very hilarious... Azusa got duped and then, Mugi's nosebleed. Oh man, she's so slick covering the true reason behind the bleed like that.
The actual Mio and Ritsu music room scene and after is a little awkward. And I like it. Because it works-because this is Mio and Ritsu, and they're best friends, and now they're something on top of that, and it's a bit clumsy and Ritsu says, "I'm loving you, aren't I?" but still just perfect-and gah, I can't make this thought coherent.
I'm just disappointed at myself for not knowing anything about YUI and those songs, so I think I'm missing out on some deeper meanings here. I will have to investigate this further immediately...
The end leaves so much to imagination, and if I were a squealing kind of person, I would squeal right there. Because Ritsu is trying so hard to segue into something, and it doesn't really work, but whatever, and... aww...
In short, after all that incoherent-ness: excellent. Very excellent. I can't wait for the inevitable sequel. I suppose now that you've updated, it's my turn, isn't it?
Maybe I'm being really stupid but how is "ai ai gasa" (love love umbrellas) relevant...? I think I've seen this used somewhere else too, but I've never understood it. What's with umbrellas, and what do they have to do with love?