Reviews for Rebelward Without a Cause
Gasaway Alley chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
Dear Rebelward,

Eddie is it? I have been asked by all the “Edwards” of Twilight to address some issues that we have with you.

First of all, I do not take kindly to your connotations of "telling it like it is". How dare you malign my sweet, fragile Isabella like that? It is quite obvious to me that she may have legs, but I would carry her anywhere, until my marble-like feet wear off! Isabella is my sun and my moon and I will protect her with my last immortal breath. She is my life!

While it is true, we are all hung like a horse, I would never,ever deign to push my Isabella into having sex with me. I could hurt her or, god forbid…kill her. *fans self spastically*

Furthermore, Volvos are manly!

Lastly, I take task with anyone that speaks ill of the great Stephenie Meyer. With out her, there would be no Edward Anthony Cullen. Again I say, how dare you!

You, sir, are a mockery of a gentleman! There is a laundry list of injustices you have brought against us and we have thrown down the gauntlet! *smacks Rebelward’s face with a glove*

With great conviction,

(The)Edward Anthony Cullen
CapnSureYouAre chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
I was cracking up from the moment I saw the title. Oh, Eddie, le sigh.
RowanMoon chapter 1 . 6/29/2009

Alright Eddie, I got my beer, (Heineken thunk you vary much) and I just gotta say boi, Mama Ro loves it when you are all cock ' the walk talkin'. Makes me wanna smack you on the ass once er twice with my velvet coated paddles.

As one of your devoted darlings from Bad, Broken and Dead, I am enthralled with your southern style. Cause I've been afflicted with fast food indigestion. The only Supersize you serve up darlin' is in your pants!

"If’n you’re after the quick fix McFic to match your McMansion, don’t come knocking on my double-wide. If you want a slow paced, southern story with me in all my glory, I will treat you to my wit, slivers of my Johnnie Dead Reb untiring body, and facking pages worthy of uhn and throaty laughs. And y’all know I’m trying my damndest to put out!"

Ah, Alice. How could they not get who the fuck she is? She's a goth gypsy queen, baleful' she's got yer number Eddie. I'm thinkin' you are gonna like that voodoo that she do.

~Ro xo
Viola Cornuta chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
he's pretty fly for a white guy
brandj chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
‘P’ popping grates on my very last nerve. What the fuck is up with that? What self-possessing vampire would ever pop a ‘p’? Just don’t go there; you’ll only succeed in pissing me off further!


"What’s with trying to create friction? Seriously. Rubbing your thighs together, seeking friction. Why? Just fuck already. I’ve never seen a woman trying to create friction. And if’n I did, I’d be wondering why she was scratching her legs together like a grasshopper, creating shrill song."

THANK YOU! I've always scratched my head over this one too! are TO smart for your own good!

Thanks for that Rie! That was fuckawesome! You should do more like that, if he'll agree! And, I like the story from his POV!
twilightnaley19 chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
loved this. cant wait to see what happens next. please update soon!
iLikeTigerMilk chapter 1 . 6/29/2009

That was great! I think i salivated slightly...

I bet rebelward had a hipflask in one hand an a half full hiball in the other... I kept looking at his fingers... O.0


x gee x
AmeryMarie chapter 1 . 6/29/2009

Srsly, that shit was funny. Fuck!

"I don’t do bridal-style. First of all, if I were to carry Bella, it’d be more along the lines of Neanderthal-style or, even better, with her legs wrapped around my waist so that her gash nestled nicely with my cock. I might even go so far as to pick her up by placing my arms under the crook of her knees. But why I gotta’ carry her all over the place anyway? She’s got legs for fuck’s sake; let her use ‘em!"

Hear, hear! Let the bitch walk, Eddie! Still you gotta admit, sometimes the bitch is petulant and you just have to toss her ass over your shoulder.

Hope to see a little more of you *wink, wink* on twitter and the threads. Mwuah!
LaViePastiche chapter 1 . 6/29/2009
FU-CK-IN-G BRILLZ. I love the dirty mouth. I love the lack of Volvo. I love the calling out of hair raking/nose pinching and tent pitching. Fuck that is awesome.

But if vamps get grossed out by human food, why the fuck do they so enjoy the smell of strawberries.

Whatever Eddie, I smell like vodka, cigs and abercrombie (weird, i know) and I can DT like a mother effer so...

wait did i just say that in a public review?

Sorry, I'm getting OT. I love your pretty, nasty words but my heart still kinda belongs to the reformed EOF and I've got plans for the fucking Green Faerie FYI.

Still, you're welcome in the doublewide anytime, bb.
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