|Reviews for Ace no Ikkoku, Episodes 1 and 3|
| Annilus chapter 1 . 11/2/2009
Well, I of many would like to see this story progress, with new episodes added and prequal(s) filled in. You have a very well thought out, written, and presented piece going here - the episodes play out in my mind like a perfectly coordinated movie, stringing together its characters and their interactions perfectly. The setting - being subtle as it is - required a little substitution in its illustrated depiction, but that in turn allows for more dialogue and thus increases the pace at which the story moves, which is definitely a welcoming feature in fanfiction. I implore you to continue writing these episodes, and uploading them in the same manner.
| redskyy chapter 11 . 10/23/2009
Wow, I was happy to see not just one chapter but a whole 'nother episode added to the story! I was confused at first but it started making sense once I reached episode three and saw the explanation.
I think you guys did a great job on the backstory thus far. You set things up very well, such as Kyoko and Mitaka becoming partners for the Tour and giving Godai's job at the tennis courts some more context. And your characterization was given much more space to flourish, making the characters seem even more alive. They feel just like the originals. You can't help but despise Yotsuya and seeing how he manages to fanangle Godai into crazy situations. Mitaka is also in good form and true to character as well.
The story has a logical focus on tennis, as it is the main premise. As a casual fan, I liked how in depth you went into the sport and how you described it in the first episode. It sets a nice tone for the alternate world, which goes well with your impeccable hold on the characters. They seamlessly fit in the new setting.
One of the things I would really like to see is a bigger focus on Godai and Kyoko. You still really feel for Godai and root for him even without the status of ronin looming over his head. He just gets trampled on, both literally and figuratively. Kyoko is just right. Being thrust in the spotlight, I can see her being a very private person and just wanting to play tennis. It doesn't help how overbearing Mitaka can be, as is evident with their eventual tennis partnership.
I thought that Godai and Kyoko's meeting in the employee room was much better than the one in episode three. You could see even then glimpses of what could be. This was probably my favorite scene yet and is something I really hope to see get more attention in the rest of episode one or the upcoming episode two. Godai failing to give his name is exactly something he would do. Getting more scene time with Godai and Kyoko would probably be my main recommendation. She seems really genuine around him and I love how awkwardly nervous he was around her. Godai giving back her keys is the perfect opportunity for him and I would love to see how they get to know each other better without the excuse of her as apartment manager.
Seeing the entire story as it is now, I think there are great ideas in episode three that can be taken and revamped while continuing the story from episode one. I like Kyoko and Mitaka's preparation for the Tour as well as how supportive Soichiro is as a reporter while keeping his respectful distance. I would hope Godai and Kyoko would be closer by this time than her simply hiring him as dog walker. I'm unsure about introducing Soichiro as a love interest, though he did mention something about family. That could make things really complicated if there are three people fighting for Kyoko's attention.
I really can't wait to see what else you guys have planned. I'm not sure how much you plan to write, but I would love to see Godai be more proactive and courageous with his feelings for Kyoko. Takahashi did a really slow burn with their relationship, so I wouldn't mind a little acceleration while keeping things faithful to your universe and their characters.
Keep up the amazing work!
| Mr. Qwerty chapter 4 . 7/7/2009
Nice little story, hope to read more on the same vein; only two sore points stand out for me.
First, the story used to explain away Sôichirô-san (the dog)'s name feels a bit too contrived, since naming the dog after a deceased relative that wasn't actually called nor nicknamed Sôichirô seems a bit of a stretch. I realize that the name was kept on purpose for chapter four, but given that it's such an odd name for a dog in Japan. Since the original reason was that the dog wouldn't answer to any other name, it might have been easier to add a neighbor with that name to Grandfather's neighborhood or something similar.
Second, Yûsaku himself admitted in the manga that if he hadn't met Kyôko before Kozue, he'd probably have fallen for her; that's very much likely given Kozue's go-getter personality and the fact that she is considered pretty good-looking. It would be nice to explore the reasons why Yûsaku is avoiding that particular commitment.
Otherwise, a very well written and gripping story, with good use of punctuation and no mistaking possessive and plural forms, all of which are unfortunately rather rare on this site. :(
| redskyy chapter 4 . 7/3/2009
Wow, what an amazing Maison Ikkoku fic! This has to be one of the best written ones I've seen yet. You've managed to keep everyone so well in character, maintaining their voice, mannerisms, and personality. I love that you kept the accents and Japanese words intact, which definitely added to the immersion and the story. The changes you made from the original story fit so well together.
Ichinose, Akemi, and Yotsuya are just as loony and unforgiving as ever. Mitaka is still that smooth playboy. And Kyoko still keeps that charm and likability about her. And I'm still rooting for Godai to come out of this on top. The odds are stacked more against him than ever, with both Mitaka and Otonashi competing for her affections and the loons doing everything they can to make Godai miserable. I hope to see even more Godai/Kyoko moments and see how they get closer.
Maison Ikkoku has to be my favorite anime and this is such a vastly underrated fandom. I've seen very little quality MI fics and you managed to write this one so well. I can't wait to see what else you have planned and keep up the fantastic work!