Reviews for Slave
Picture chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
I apologize in advance for the following musical theater reference: I don't know if you happen to be familiar with the musical version of ''Aida'', but it has a song entitled "Dance of the Robe" in which the title character has the exact same feelings as Temari in this chapter. I like this song a lot because it conveys emotion the same way you do here- it’s not whiney or even all that angsty, but it's powerful. It never seems like the kind of feeling Temari is experiencing in the second part is paid much attention, but you definitely do it justice. I hope Yoshino doesn't turn out to be a total witch, though. She certainly has quite a temper.

Yeah, sorry about that, again. I'm pretty bad, I know; I just couldn't help it, it fits so perfectly.
AbombAnation chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
Wow, i liked this chapter alot. im starting to hate for not alowing temari to be a maid though! but i would be afraid of itching powder to. this chapter also has alot of insight on how the other slaves and servants feel about temari, i thought they would feel a little more resentment on how her family let Suna crumble so easily. it also showed Temaris politicial stand in the whole thing. really enjoyed reading this (even if it was shorter than previous chapters) and im liking where youve taken the story so far and i agree with you taking it slow.

Hope you get the next chapter up soon! from now on ill review each and everyone of your future chapters! but i really really, and i mean really, hope for some shikatemi interaction in the next chapter. where is gonna station temari next anyway? i thought she would become a gardner, but now im hoping against, becuse of the little temariXshikamaru interaction unless he actually went out to talk to her which seems unlike him, but i cant think of any other job would feel "safe" having work at.

Im really hoping for the next chapter to have more temashika time! hopefully itll have at least 100,0 paragraphs in it, but ill settle for less though, lol jk! Really loking forward to it :D!

AbombAnation double meaning
equitablyinjust chapter 5 . 7/8/2009

You win! That was completely realistic! I could believe everything about Temari's self-discovery, and her return to thinking of herself as a leader only perfectly logical, but captivating as well. The mystique of the faceless painting only added to it. I look forward to seeing Temari grow into being the queen of the desert... I almost don't need Shikamaru. Almost. But I SO DO! Gimme.

*grabs and pokes Shikamaru*

Go bug the author. I want babies with lots of pineapple ponytails. And I want them now.

*waits patiently for the next chapter*
NaraTemari011 chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
I'm liking this story a lot...but I need ShikaTema interaction please!

Can't wait for the next chappie!

Mew-Mew-Brittany-Chan chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
Sand-Jounin-Temari chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
I loved it! The loss of identity made it that much more realistic! Poor Temari, not knowing who she is anymore. I hope Shikamaru will be one of the people to help her find out! Please update soon!

NaraTemari011 chapter 4 . 7/7/2009
Wow. This fic is so cool! Please update soon!

Maaka-sama chapter 4 . 7/7/2009
Beautiful...Awesome...There's nothing more I can say. Written and described perfectly, nothing is unclear and everything is right. Update soon...! .(_).

dr-zwinka chapter 4 . 7/6/2009

i have to say that this chapter was so well written

i had to read it 3 times in row

the way u discribed .. everything was soo waw

and i liked the way u discribed shikamaru's feeling when he first sow her

cant wait for the next chap
AbombAnation chapter 4 . 7/5/2009
Wow, wonderful chapter, LOL... love at first sight! Love the story update soon kay? hope temari and shikamaru get more talking time in chapters to come! LOVE THE STORY! So please update soon! :)!
Sand-Jounin-Temari chapter 4 . 7/5/2009
I... Loved... It! It was beautiful! Temari behaviour, Shikamaru's reaction and Shikaku's grief for his sons loss, all wrapped into a beautiful chapter! I can't wait for the update!

equitablyinjust chapter 4 . 7/5/2009
So... Love at first sight, huh? Not something I would ever think about at the same time as Shikamaru. Let's see where you take this, ne?

I can't wait to see his reaction, though I'm betting on 'pretend she doesn't exist'. But Temari is a hard person to ignore...

Even though I enjoyed it, I have to say:

Temari should have more self-preservation. It's not wise, when you're the only hope of your enslaved people, to go shooting your mouth off around the only three humans who can prevent or cause your death. If she's truly a princess, though I am considering her nature, she should not be calling Yoshino a bitch, even if it's only for the sake of those who depend on her.

But otherwise... Excellently written and executed, and the characters were wonderfully portrayed.

One last thing... Hinata, Ino, Temari, Tenten, Neji, Shikamaru, Kankuro, Gaara (is he dead? T.T)... *looks around* But where are the rest of them? You can't keep having a story without Naruto... He's too loud. ...I'm kidding. Do whatever you want, and I'm looking forward to the next update.
beerbelly chapter 3 . 7/4/2009
love it already! i have also read & liked the first shika/tema fic that you've written. you're doing a great job! _ i hope you can update as often as you can. ganbatte!
RealyManlyPimps chapter 3 . 7/3/2009
usually i don't really like stories that differ from the ninja way, lol

but i like this story, very much, don't know why,

so update soon
equitablyinjust chapter 3 . 7/3/2009
Excellent writing style and technique. I found that easy and engaging to read... Meaning I want to read more! I was surprised that this story only has five reviews so far, since, from what I can see, it's both intelligent and fascinating, a rarity.

I would like to point out, though:

"She would cause trouble this girl. Yoshino could feel it in her bones."

It should be: "She would cause trouble, this girl. Yoshino could feel it in her bones."

Will Tenten and Temari become friends, at all? Though it was quite perfect that Tenten would be one of the only women in the army, and the way they interacted... *smiles like an idiot, goes off to read it again*

Temari! Don't kill Shikamaru! It would be such a waste of a lover! And then he would have to marry Ino! (Kami, I hate her...)

Good writing ShikaTema implied NejiTen creative take on a slave story New favorite Fanfic!

Keep writing please.
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